SEASON 1 FINALE: FUCK THIS SHIT WE'RE DONE.

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INVADER MAZ: Tallest, please let me go to some puny planet that an Irken
invader has failed to, well, invade.
(PURPLE TALLEST is gazing unblinkily at MAZ, staring at her beauty)D--> This is obviously the superior to this strange caste system EQUIUS NOT EVERY SPECIES HAS A CASTE SYSTEM. D--> It makes the most sense NO IT DOESN'T, THE PURPLE GUY IS PROBABLY, I DON'T KNOW, TALLER THAN EVERYONE ELSE, THUS MAKING HIM SUPERIOR. NOT JUDGING BY HIS NAME OR ANYTHING AT FUCKING ALL. D--> You mean to say, he is born with STRONGer genes D--> This makes sense YES, STRONGER GENES, SURE.
RED TALLEST: Ummmmm.......ummmmmmmm...sure......uhhhh
but which one?SEE, BECAUSE, WHY WOULD A RED BLOOD BE A HIGH POWER IF IT WAS A CASTE SYSTEM. D--> I am not sure what to feel about this DON'T FEEL ANYTHING, JUST MAKE FUN OF SOME BAD WRITING. D--> If you are prepared to be forceful about it then very well
MAZ: (flutters eyes) Oh....I dunno, how about Earth? (flutters eyes again)EYE FLUTTERS ARE REALLY THE ONLY WAY TO GET ANYTHING DONE.
R.T.: Umm.....ya....ok.....
MAZ: Oh thank you, my (sexy voice) almighty and all knowledgeable leaders.
(she kisses each of them and both of them sigh in pleasure) bye bye.
(After she leaves)MAZ HAS EVERYONE AS HER MATESPRIT, TELL NEPETA TO UPDATE HER WALL! D--> Would you prefer I tell her after our e%creting session IT WAS A JOKE EQUIUS.
R.T. : Noooooooooooo!
P.T. What's wrong?!?!?!
R.T. We sent her to ZIM!!!
Both of them: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Back at Earth)OH, FUCK, EARTH.
(Doorbell rings)
ZIM: GIR!! Get the door.D--> He is commanding and forceful D--> I e%pect him to be the best character THIS WAS THE WRONG FANFICTION TO DO WITH YOU.
GIR: Sir, yes, sir! You know what's a weird word? FORK!! D--> This gir creature will stop this D--> He must respect his leader DAMN, EQUIUS, YOU'RE JUST ONE BIG BUCKET FULL OF LAUGHS, AREN'T YOU. D--> You will cease such 100d language at once D--> Though it befits your class i ask you to not use such language around me ALTERNATIVELY I COULD JUST SHOVE AN IRON BAR DOWN YOUR PROTEIN CHUTE AND YOU WOULD HAVE OTHER PROBLEMS TO WORRY ABOUT. D--> I think i need a towel I HATE YOU.
(At the Door)
JOHNNY: Ummm, hi. I'm Nny,NO, IT CLEARLY SAYS YOUR NAME IS JOHHNY, AS SHITTY OF A NAME AS THAT IS. your next door neighbor. I'm selling Sporks
and
salad tongs. You shall buy them.
GIR: Umm NO
NNY: You shall. You do not know the hideous things I have done with salad
tongs. Oh the pain. D--> Or perhaps this one is the STRONGest D--> This is a comple% system
GIR: Nice talkin' to ya! BYE BYE
NNY: um ya Bye.I AM DISAPPOINTED AT HOW EASILY HE GIVES UP. I WANTED TO SEE HIS SALAD TONG STRIFES.
(GIR goes back down to ZIM.)
ZIM: Who was it?
GIR: NNNNNNNNNNNNNnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
ZIM: o..............k
COMPUTER: Zim, I have signals indicating an invader is approaching Earth.
(ZIM is playing with a rubex cube)
ZIM: Curse Earth games! Oh, what? Okay, whatever. D--> This does not fit your STRONG commands D--> You will cease this weak behavior at once MAYBE HE'S GOT MOOD SWINGS LIKE SOLLUX.





(Next day at SKOOL) D--> What is this word ...SKOOLFED? FUCK HUMANS. SERIOUSLY. D--> Your language though disgusting does accurately describe my thoughts
MS. BITTERS: Class, we have a new student in our class..............her name is
Maz.
(at that moment MAZ walks in. The children are all bored. When the boys look
at MAZ they stare longingly at her beautiful self.; MAZ flips her hair
beautifully)
MAZ: Ms. Bitters? May I sit at the front of the row so all the boys will
look
like they are actually paying attention to you?
(MS. BITTERS is playing with a rubex cube) D--> What is with humans and their apparent cube addiction IT'S PROBABLY SOME STUPID TOY FOR STUPID WRIGGLERS.
M.B.: Oh, sure go ahead.
MAZ: I want her spot!
M.B.: Bye Sara
SARA: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!WHAT HAPPENED TO SARA? I WANT MORE DESCRIPTIONS OF VIOLENCE. D--> I do not care I CARE, IF IT MEANS SOMEONE IS VIOLENTLY MAIMED. D--> Very well if it is a description of STRONGness I too would like to hear
(MAZ sits by ZIM, and she stares lovingly at ZIM. Of course, he is oblivious
to her.)
(At recess, all the boys are surrounding MAZ just to look at her. She wants
to go to ZIM but he is "off in his own little world;" however, he notices
that all the boys are around her and he is not.)AND NOW WATCH AS HE ATTEMPTS TO FIT IN AND FAILS.
ZIM: I ZIMMM! Am not an outcast! I shall show this love pig my " affection!"I HAVE ACCURATELY GUESSED HOW SHITTY THIS STORY HAS AND WILL BECOME.
(ZIM approaches her but they are dismissed, and DIB is talking to, and
trying
to impress, MAZ after school.)I AM INCREDIBLY FUCKING IRRITATED BY THESE RANDOM INDENTATIONS. D--> Could we not fix them WHY SHOULD WE BOTHER? D--> Very well
DIB: Aaaaaand I'm a paranormal investigator. I research questions like aliens
and
why you are so beautiful. D--> This human lacks STRONGness and will be rejected for the low b100ded wiggler he is I'D BE OKAY WITH THAT.
MAZ: Wait, have you even found any "ALIENS" yet?
DIB: Ummmm... Actually, I have. His name is Zim. You know the green kid in
our
class.WHAT THE HELL IS
WITH
THESE RANDOM LINE BREAKS, FUCK.
MAZ: Where does he live?
DIB: Why do you want to know?
MAZ: Well, ( she flips her hair) I wanted to know so we could maybe expose
him for the alien he really is.
DIB: Duhhh... Ok.
( As they approach ZIM's house)
MAZ: Thank you Dib. You can go home now.
DIB: Okey dokie. D--> I was proven correct I THINK WE ALL SAW THIS COMING, TO BE HONEST.
MAZ: (sighs) ok here we go.( she rings the doorbell)
ZIM: Yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyes?
MAZ: Hello Zim.
ZIM: Oh, hello love pig. You may idol me. D--> I may need another towel MOTHERFUCK, THIS IS THE WORST PROJECT TO WORK ON WITH EQUIUS EVER.
(MAZ pushes ZIM inside, locks the door, and rips off his disguise.) D--> Oh dear D--> Pardon me for a while GODDAMMIT.
ZIM: (in horror) AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! What are you doing?
(MAZ, slowly and romantically, takes off her disguise. She is exceedingly
beautiful, and very tall for a girl Irken invader)WOW, SHE SOUNDS PERFECT FOR WHATEVER THE FUCK AN IRKEN IS.
ZIM: uhhhh..........
MAZ: Yes Zim, it is I, Maz.
ZIM: hummana hummmmmana humm.
MAZ: As you know, one Irken couple can join together and well, (she moves
closer to ZIM) it's my turn and I pick you.
(ZIM stares in disbelief as she holds his hands and gazes into his red
eyes.) D--> A disgusting color despite his commanding ways D--> His e%quisite ways contradict his low color OK, EQUIUS, I ALREADY FUCKING EXPLAINED HOW OUR CASTE SYSTEM DOES NOT WORK FOR THESE ASSHOLES. D--> I am aware D--> I am commenting on the simple color not how it is considered low for his caste RED IS NOT A BAD FUCKING COLOR, HELL, ARADIA HAD RED BLOOD, YOU WENT HEAD OVER MOTHERFUCKING HEELS FOR HER. D--> I fi%ed her b100d to match her manners so it is fine I THINK SHE WAS PERFECTLY FINE WITH HER BLOOD COLOR. D--> We will cease this discussion at once I'M ONLY STOPPING BECAUSE WE HAVE SHIT TO MAKE FUN OF, BUT WE'RE GOING TO CONTINUE THIS CONVERSATION AT A LATER TIME. D--> If you are commanding me to do so then we shall YES, IT'S AN ORDER, SURE. D--> Very well
ZIM: Why do you choose me? I mean, you had all those tall and strong and
handsome and tall Irken boys to choose from? FOR CRYING OUT LOUD YOU
COULD'VE
PICKED THE TALLEST! YOU WOULD'VE BEEN IN COMMAND! And why me?
MAZ: Well, I knew them before they were high and mighty, and they were in
love with me like all the other boys. They only wanted to grow taller soIT
KEEPS
HAPPENING.
that
they could try and impress me. They wanted me to pick them. They both wanted
me to pick both of them. That would've been weird. Because as you know,
the
couple get to have one Irken child that isn't genetically created in labs
like you and me. I really like you, no I love you Zim! (she throws herself
into his arms) Hold me. D--> Disgusting YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS YOU CAN'T HOLD ANYTHING BECAUSE YOU'LL BREAK IT. D--> I do not know what you mean YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I FUCKING MEAN. D--> You are simply jealous of my STRONGness I WOULD CUT MY THROAT OUT IF I WAS JEALOUS, EQUIUS. HONESTLY I PREFER NOT BRUISING EVERYBODY WHEN I FUCKING POKE THEM.
ZIM: I...I...don't know what to say........
GIR: I LOOOOVE YOU! (GIR runs up and gives MAZ a hug)
ZIM: You didn't tell me why you picked me.
MAZ: Well, your naivety, to me, is a turn on, and we are total opposites.
Opposites attract, you know. D--> This is understandable But really, I don't know.. I just love you
Zim,
I love you with all my heart.I JUST HATE YOU
FANFICTION
I HATE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART.
ZIM: But what about my mission?
MAZ: Why do you think I came to Earth, and not have you be ordered to come
to
Irk? I want to work on the mission with you because (she flips her hair) I
want to be with you. (her eyes flutter) I love you. D--> Yes you e%plained this before D--> Several times SAYING I LOVE YOU CONSTANTLY IS SOMETHING ANNOYING HUMANS DO.
ZIM: But what if we do get "married"
MAZ: Then we use this ( she pulls out a weird device thingy) to speed up
time
so we are older and "old enough", in human eyes, to get "married." D--> Your use of quotation is unneccesary D--> Married is not even a word IT PROBABLY IS FOR HUMANS. I THINK IT'S JUST A CEMENTATION OF A RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN MATESPRITS. D--> Why cannot they simply say that and prevent making some e%tra unnecessary word HUMANS HAVE LIKE FIFTY WORDS FOR ONE DAMN WORD.
ZIM: Wow! You have had a lot of time to plan this haven't you?
(MAZ nods) MAZ: I love you Zim.
ZIM: I love you too...
GIR: YEAH!!!!!!!!!!
(They become silhouetted and they kiss)
GIR: Awwwwwwwwww.
(MAZ presses the button, and swirly effects happen; MAZ is now even taller
and more beautiful (if that was Irkenly possible) and ZIM stayed the same
except he is taller and a little cuter)
MAZ: I love you Zim!
ZIM: I love you too TAC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
dun Dunnn DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN.....................
Will MAZ dump ZIM? Will ZIM apologize? Will they get "married"? Will anyone
actually read this? D--> Regrettably yes we must GOD I ALMOST WISH I HADN'T STARTED MAKING FUN OF BAD FANFICTIONS.
SCROLL down to find out what happens.


MAZ: What do you mean TAC!!!!!!!
ZIM: Ooopsie!
GIR: He's still in love with her.
ZIM: But I love you too!
(MAZ is crying a cry so cryiful that no one can resist the cry) MAZ: YOU
IDIOT!! I gave anything and everything any Irken boy could ever want! ME AND
MY HEART! And you call me TAC!! She wanted to destroy you! I want to love
you! AND YOU SAY HER NAME! YOU DIDN'T EVEN HAVE A THING WITH HER!!!!!!! D--> Obviously he is in calignious feelings with this tac THIS IS LIKE A ROMCOM I WATCHED ONCE. EXCEPT BAD. D--> So you mean e%actly like your pathetic movies THEY AREN'T PATHETIC, THEY'RE FUCKING AMAZING.
DIB DID!!!!!!!!!
I'm going next door to Nny so he can take care of our little TAC problem.
In
the mean time Zim, you need to find a way to make it up to me.
(Maz leaves)
ZIM: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! Gir! How will I ever make it up to
her!! She changed me. I love her for that.
GIR: I don't know master, how about you get her some Irken sweets and
flowers?
ZIM: Gir, that is the most BRILLIANT thing you have ever come up with.
(ZIM orders packages and they come in a meteor 5 seconds later)I DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND WHERE THESE CAME FROM.
ZIM: About time!
(MAZ walks through the front door with an evil grin on her face)
MAZ: Instead of having Johnny give Tac to Dib, I made him KILL her to her
doom for having ever seducing you into her sluttish schemes of doom. D--> This sentence makes no sense and should not e%ist
(ZIM gives MAZ the sweets and flowers. The flowers are chocolate and the
sweets are made from Poison Oak leaves; MAZ graciously excepts them)
MAZ: Oh Zim! I forgive you for falling into that little tramp's clutches!
No one could resist. I love you. D--> Again you already e%plained this AGAIN, I AREADY EXPLAINED IT.
(ZIM and MAZ kiss)
GIR: Yeah!!!!!!!! More kissing!!
78 4/9 hours later
GIR: YEAH! They are STILL kissing! D--> This is degrading in every way to every being WORKING WITH YOU IS DEGRADING.
ZIM: Maz?
MAZ: Yes Zim?
ZIM: That was the most kissing I have ever done!
MAZ Heehee. Me, too, and here comes another one!
ZIM: he he Will hmhmhmhmmm (ZIM's words are muffled as he passionately
kisses MAZ)
MAZ: What did you say dear?
ZIM: I said, (ZIM goes down on one knee) Will you do me the greatest honor
and marry me?-I know, it's corny,just keep readingOH, WELL, NOW THAT YOU TOLD ME TO KEEP READING I WILL. D--> It was not very forceful D--> But i have already been commanded to
MAZ: Of course!
(MORRRRRRRRRRRE KISSING!!!!) D--> Urg
MAZ: Zim? I still can't believe you called me Tak. D--> I though it was spelled tac
ZIM: Awwww.... Somebody needs a Kiss!
MAZ: Yes I do!
ZIM: That was our 56,935,748,302 kiss!
MAZ: (Gasp) That means we are married!
ZIM: Ya. You know what that means...
MAZ: We can have a child now (MAZ lifts her leg up and puts it on ZIM's
thigh;WHAT D--> This what ZIM, in response, carries her away in his arms to the deep, dark,
deepy place that is ZIM's laboratory; MAZ is still a little taller than
ZIM,
but he got taller when they got married)-why did I put that in?...OH FUCK OH FUCK OH NO
(GIR at the door)
GIR: Yessssssss?
DIB: HELLO (DIB is older now. He's like in his 20's but instead of happy
noodle boy he has Maz's face on his shirt)
GIR: I'm going to go into explody mode.
DIB: Where is Zim?
GIR: He's making babies. I like babies.OH GOD FUCK ME WHY D--> This is a disgusting and e%tremely unbefitting of any creature with though OH FUCK, THEY DIDN'T TAKE A BUCKET WITH THEM... OOOOOOOH FUUUUCK
DIB: Ewwwww. Really? Who with?
GIR: MAZ!!!!
DIB: NO! (he is propelled by his own sense of grief)
GIR: YES! HEHAHAHAHAHEEHAW!
DIB: My beloved Maz! Wait, how are they doing it?
GIR: It's kinda like the birds and the bees, but with Irks; you know how
they...
DIB: Really? Can I watch.WHAAAAAT
GIR: Noooooooooooooooo.
DIB: I'm going in.
GIR: NOoooooOOOo! EXPLODY
MODE!!!!!!!!!!!!
DIB: NO!!!!! Wait, what is "explody mod.....
(BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! He explody then he grew back together, and DIB is sad!
Boo hoo. He broke his butt in 3 places. Yay!) D--> What I GIVE UP TRYING TO UNDERSTAND ANYTHING ANYMORE.

(down in the Lab, they feel the boom)
MAZ: Zim! Was that you?UGH, I FEEL FUCKING SICK.
ZIM: umm no.Maz?
MAZ: Yes, Zim?
ZIM: What happens if the Dib creature finds out about us?
MAZ: I don't know....
(GIR storms in the room)
GIR: I exploded and hurt Dib!
MAZ: He was here!?!
GIR: uh huh.
ZIM: Why?
MAZ: I made Dib think that I was in love with him so he could show me where
you lived. Then I dismissed him. I think he is still in love with me. Gir,
what did you tell Dib?
GIR: I said you two were making babies!! YAY!
MAZ and ZIM: uh oh!
ZIM: Oh well....
MAZ: Kiss me!!!!!!!
ZIM: Okey Dokie!! Ahhhhh. Hee hee heee
NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY RANDOM D--> I do not think I can continue with this D--> It is just so repulsive I... I AGREE WITH YOU COMPLETELY.
(At planet Irk)
R.T.:I crave MAZ!!!
P.T.: Then why did you let her go!?
R.T.: I dunno. You just can't say no to her. Hey it's time to measure
ourselves.
P.T.: NO NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
R.T.: What?!
P.T.: We are shrinking without Maz!!!!!!!!!!
Both of them: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
(back on Earth) D--> I do not understand what the point of that was I NEED TO GO CUT MY EYES OUT SO I DON'T HAVE TO SEE THIS SHIT. D--> Why are we still here BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE BEING HARASSED BY DUMBASSES FROM THE INTERNET TO KEEP DOING THIS.
MAZ: Zim, I think we should take a break. GODDAMN THEY WERE STILL GOING?
ZIM: Yeah. I am tired.
MAZ: May I add a room?
ZIM: huh? Ya, ok.
MAZ: (kisses him) Thank you, love muffin.
ZIM: Good night.
(MAZ quickly builds a secret love room)
3 days later!
ZIM: uhhhh! I am refreshed for more of my beloved Maz. Maz, where are you?
(he notices the extra room and he goes in. MAZ is lying on a romantic bed.
She has that sexy look in her eyes that she gets.)...WHERE THE FUCK IS MY SICKLE. D--> Curses I broke my glass D--> I would really like some milk
MAZ: (in a sexy voice) Hello Zim...
ZIM: Uhhhhh…. Maz? What are you doing? He he (nervous laugh)
MAZ: Waiting for you, you silly goose!
ZIM: oh um ok...
COMPUTER: Zim! Incoming message from the tallest!
ZIM: (good) Oh ok Computer.
RED TALLEST: ZIM!!!!!!! WE NEED MAZ!OUR ENTIRE ECO- SYSTEM REVOLVES AROUND
HER!
ZIM and MAZ: Really?!
PURPLE TALLEST: No, we just like you a lot and we like looking at you.
MAZ: Oh. Well I'm sorry. I love Zim and he loves me so I'm staying right
here.
RED TALLEST: Well, there is a rule that says you can not be married and
invade a planet at the same time.
PURPLE TALLEST: Really? I have never....OW! My Sqeedly Spooch!I DON'T UNDERSTAND, BUT I DON'T GIVE A SHIT EITHER.
MAZ: Really?
RT: Really really.
MAZ: Then we will conduct this invasion on our own and we will seclude
ourselves from the rest of Irken society.
PT: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo! I need you Maz! I neeeeeeeed you!
MAZ: Oops! I can't hear you bad connection. Bye bye.
ZIM: I loooove you Maz.
MAZ: Zim, I feel sick.
GIR: Awwwwwwwwww.YAY! She's gonna be sick!
MAZ: I think I'm going to fai....(MAZ faints but luckily ZIM catches her)
ZIM: Come on Gir, we have to make Maz lie down. (They set her down) I still
can't believe the best Irken girl picked me, of all invaders, to be her
husband.
NEXT DAY
MAZ: Zim, I have something to tell you.
ZIM: Sure, baby, anything.
MAZ: It's funny you should mention baby.
ZIM: Why?
MAZ: Because we are going to have one. D--> What is this I do not understand
(This time, ZIM faints, and MAZ couldn't catch him)
MAZ: Ummm, Gir, take Zim to our bed and lie him down on it.
GIR: Ma'am yes ma'am.
(A Month Later)
MAZ: Zim, as you know our baby is about to be born.
ZIM: Yeah... so?
MAZ: Didn't they teach you anything? I need bodily tissue. TISSUE!!!! You
know like the body tissue of the dominant species on the planet we invade.
ZIM: Oh goodie. I know just the victim.....
(At DIB's house) AN-Muahahahahahaha...ha....he........he
ZIM: Hello Dib.
DIB: Zim! What do you want?
ZIM: I want your butt. D--> E%cuse me WHAT THE FUCK
DIB: My butt! Why do you want my butt?
ZIM: Do not question me. I need your butt. D--> I do not even
DIB: Never!! Why?
ZIM: So Maz can put our baby in it so it will eat it.OH OK THAT'S A GOOD REASON.
DIB: Ewww.
ZIM: No time for games. Give me your butt.
DIB: NEVER!!
(ZIM bites DIB's butt and takes it off. It’s D--> What happened herea bloody mess yay!)THE MOST GORY SCENE. IT'S A SHAME.
ZIM: (muffled) Dye Dib! And fanks for the dutt!
(DIB is lying on the sidewalk twitching convulsively and bleeding)
A COUPLE YEARS LATER
(ZIM and MAZ apparently had a daughter. POOPZIPOOPZI?... is hyperactive-even more than
GIR- and very temperamentalSO SHE IS EXACTLY LIKE TEREZI. DRAWING THESE CONNECTIONS MADE ME ALMOST WANT TO LAUGH.. MAZ and ZIM looks tired and depressed) D--> As am I
MAZ: (toneless) Goodbye Zim. (gives him a kiss) I have to conquer South
America now. THIS IS SUCH A HEARTFELT FUCKING MOMENT.
ZIM: Bye sweetie. Hurry back! Poopzi, go to Skool.
POOPZI: I DON'T WANNA!!!!!!!
ZIM: Do as your told.
POOPZI: Fine.
( GIR stubbles into the room. He holds in head in his arms.)
GIR: Master? Will you put my head back on?
ZIM: Yes. Gir. For once you are acting like a normal SIR.
GIR: Poopzi takes it out of you.
ZIM: Yeah. Sometimes I wish that I could get rid of her. D--> I have always wished I could be rid of this e%crutiating te%t
COMPUTER: Zim. Incoming message from the Tallest.
ZIM: Good. Put them on the screen.
R.T.: ZIM. We have a proposal to offer you.
P.T.: WE NEED MAZ!!!!!!!!!
R.T.: Smooth. We really do. In fact we..
P.T.: WE'RE SHRINKING!!!!!!!!!!!!WE NEED HER!
ZIM: Will you take Poopzi, too?
R.T.: Who?
P.T.: Her daughter.
R.T.: Oh. Is she like Maz?
ZIM: ummm yes in fact she is.WHY WOULD YOU SAY UM, EVERYBODY WILL KNOW YOU'RE LYING.
R.T.: Great! Send them over to Irk rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrright now. D--> Or not
ZIM: Oh, no. What am I going to do Gir?
GIR: I don't know.
ZIM: (Pacing) I love Maz with all my heart, but I LOATHE our daughter. I
LOATHE HER SO MUCH! D--> Why are you even with her where is her lusus
GIR: Want me to go get Maz and Poopzi?
ZIM: Yes, Gir. That, actually, would be some help.
( 5 minutes later)
GIR: Here they are.
POOPZI: DAD! Why do you want me here?
MAZ: Yes, Zim. I am also quite curious to why you needed us.
ZIM: Maz, you are going to take Poopzi on a little trip to planet Irk.
MAZ: I am?
ZIM: Yes, you are.
MAZ: Oh. Ok. Poopzi, get the voot cruiser ready.OH GOD, EQUIUS, SHE ACTS JUST LIKE YOU. D--> I would appreciate you did not insult me with comparative e%amples I AM NOT INSULTING YOU, MERELY COMPARING YOU TO A CHARACTER IN A SHITTY ASS FANFICTION. D--> I believe that would fall under insulting IF YOU WANT TO SEE IT LIKE THAT.
POOPZI: Fine, mother.
MAZ: Zim, why aren't you coming too?
ZIM: (sighs) The tallest need you to go back to Irk.
MAZ: So? They have been wanting me to go back there ever since I got here.
ZIM: Yes, well, they said they would take and keep Poopzi if she came along.
MAZ: So what you are saying is that I have to go back to Irk, and be their
queen with Poopzi?
ZIM: Sadly, yes.
MAZ: And I'll never see you again?
ZIM: (sighs) No.
MAZ: AND I'LL HAVE TO BE WITH POOPZI?
ZIM: Yes.
MAZ: NOOOOOOoooo!
MAZ: (kisses ZIM on the cheek) Bye love. Be back in a little while.
( After MAZ and POOPZI leave, ZIM starts to cry)
ZIM: Gir, I'll never see her again.
GIR: It'll ok master. Look on the bright side, you'll never see Poopzi
again.
COMPUTER: Incoming message from the Tallests.
R.T.: Zim, we don't need Maz and/or Poopzi anymore.
P.T.: Ya. We got dates with Silver and Pink from our twin planet Irka.
SILVER: Come on Red, we need to go. AN-hee hee! That's me! D--> What WHAT
PINK: Ya, Purple, we need to go too. AN-That's my BF. Hey I was bored!
RED: Well, see ya Zim. I'm coming babe!
PURPLE: Ya see ya Zim. Oh and by the way, we are tall again. Hee hee. (RED
and PURPLE give ZIM thumbs up with smiles )
ZIM: Ok, well that takes care of that problem, but what about Poopzi?
GIR: Have Nny take care of her.
ZIM: Good idea.
(A few days later with their ruling hats on and everyone bowing)
MAZ: I love you Zim.
ZIM: I love you too Maz.
(At planet Irka)
SILVER TALLEST: Why did we just have a stupid cameo in this episode?
PINK TALLEST: I don't know. Maybe it is showing a brief part of our date
with
the Tallests.
SILVER: Well, they have to read Date Between the Planets for that.OH FUCK, DOES THAT MEAN THERE'S A SEQUEL? D--> I refuse to be part of it
PINK: Hee hee you're right. I love being evil.

OK, WE'RE DONE, FUCK THIS. EQUIUS, GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME. I NEED TO DEAL WITH... TAVROS NOW, FUCK,

ALRIGHT, TAVROS, GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER AND COME HERE.
i AM HERE, kARKAT, wHAT IS IT, aGAIN,
D--> I am going to the roboti% pile now
D--> Please inform Nepeta where I am
I MIGHT, EQUIUS. IT'S SOME SHITTY MARIO FANFICTION. OH BOY.
i HAVE HEARD OF THIS "MARIO"
aN EARTH HERO, i THINK,

It's a nice day outside and Mario is at home with Luigi.WOW, I ALREADY HATE THIS STORY.
Mario: Nice day, isn't it Luigi?
Luigi: Oh yeah.
Mario: What?
Luigi: I said oh yeah.
Mario: Oh.kARKAT, dID YOU HEAR HIM STUTTER, cAUSE I DIDN'T, NO, I DIDN'T HEAR HIM STUTTER.
Just then the mailman comes to deliver the mail.
Mario: Hmm... We've got mail!
Mario goes outside to get the mail. Luigi comes with him.
Mario: Let's see what it says. (reading) Dear Mario. Please come to the castle. I have baked a cake for you. Yours truly, Princess Toadstool. Peach.WOW, THIS STORY IS SO FUCKING ENGAGING. wHY DOES THIS SOUND FAMILIAR, BECAUSE IT'S A NOVELIZATION OF A SHITACULAR GAME WITH A SHITTY CHARACTER ADDED. oH,
Luigi: Oh... cake. Mmm...
Mario: I want that cake.
Luigi: Me too.
Mario: What are you talking about? She only invited me!
Luigi: I want cake too you know!MAN, IT'S WITTY DIALOUGE LIKE THIS THAT MAKES MY LIFE WORTH LIVING. sEEMS MORE LIKE, uH, wORTHLESS SOMETHING-OR-OTHER, i CAN'T REMEMBER THE WORD, HOLY FUCK, RIFFING WITH YOU WAS JUST THE GREATEST FUCKING IDEA I'VE EVER HAD. I HOPE I GET A FUCKING MEDAL FOR THIS. }:(
Mario: Ok ok, sheesh!
Mario and Luigi go into a warp papeWHAT THE FUCK IS A PAPE. TAVROS, YOU'D KNOW RIGHT? BECAUSE YOU'RE ALSO A RETARD? I'M SURE YOU WOULD BE ABLE TO TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK A PAPE WAS. nOPE, lOOKS MORE LIKE A MISSPELLING OF PIPE OR PAPER OR SOMETHING, nOT A REAL WORD, YOU'RE AS INTERESTING AS A PIECE OF FUCKING PAPER. pAPER CAN BE INTERESTING YOU KNOW, SO YOU'RE TELLING ME THE SAYING STUPID PEOPLE LIKE SIMPLE THINGS IS TRUE? nO, WOW, WAY TO MAKE A COME BACK THERE, TAVROS, I SUDDENLY RESPECT YOU NOW.and show up at Peach's castle. But it seems a little quiet.
Mario: Hmm...
Suddenly Lakitua WHAT, I'M GOING TO ASSUME IT'S FROM THE GAME, AND NOT FUCKING THINK ABOUT IT. sAME HERE.comes right in front of him.
Mario and Luigi: Ahh!
Lakitu: Am I that scary?THIS STORY IS SCARY.
Luigi: Um...
Mario: I wasn't scared.
Lakitu: Sure...
Mario: ...
Lakitu: Anyway, I am here to film your adventure, Mario.
Mario: Huh?
Lakitu: Just go into the castle!
Mario: Ok.THIS DIALOUGE IS SO INTERESTING.
Mario and Luigi go into the castle. Nothing happens.ALRIGHT STORY IS OVER BYE EVERYONE. i THINK THIS IS A PLOT TWIST, aND THEN EVERYONE DIES, lET'S HOPE SO AT LEAST, STOP USING OLD FUCKING JOKES TAVROS, IT'S NOT FUNNY ANYMORE. }:i OK, WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE? i THINK IT'S,,,i FORGET ALREADY,
Luigi: Well...
Lakitu: Wait for it.
Twenty minutes later...
Mario: Zzz...
Luigi: Boooorrrrinng.
Lakitu: I don't get it. He should've said something by now.
Go to wherever Bowser is with the princess.
Bowser: Zzz...
Princess: Mario is there!
Bowser: Huh? What? Oh geez, I'm late.
Back to where Mario, Luigi, and Lakitu are...
Mario: That's it, I'm leaving!
Booming Voice: BWA HA HA HA! THERE IS NOTHING TO SEE HERE, NOW GO HOME! BWA HA HA HA HA HA! *cough*
Luigi: Oh no!
Mario: Looks like here we go!
Mario and Luigi walk around the castle and find a see-through Mushroom person.
Luigi: Look!
The Mushroom person becomes solid when they get close. WOW, LET'S MAKE FUN OF GRAPHICS! i DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT "GRAPHICS" ARE, ...YOU KNOW WHAT TAVROS, WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO FALL DOWN SOME STAIRS. i'D REALLY RATHER NOT, kARKAT,
Mario: Cool!
Toad: Please don't do that. It's annoying!
Mario: Ok.
Luigi: Why are you here?
Toad: I'm here to tell you that Bowser has kidnapped the princess again.
Luigi: Figures.
Toad: The only way to get to her, Mario, is to get those Power Stars.
Mario: Me?
Mushroom Person: Yes you! Huh? What's Luigi doing here?
Luigi: I wanted cake too! WELL, THAT'S AS GREAT A MOTIVATION AS ANY. bELIEVE IT OR NOT, i'VE ACTUALLY TRIED EARTH CAKE, NO ONE CARES. iT TASTES LIKE,,,i CAN'T VERY MUCH DESCRIBE IT, bUT YOU CAN IMAGINE THE WORDS i'M TRYING NOT TO SAY, JUST STOP TALKING. }:(
Toad: But only Mario is supposed to go on this adventure.
Luigi: Not according to the script.
Luigi shows Toad the title of the script.SO LET'S BREAK THE FOURTH WALL SOME MORE nOTHING MAKES SENSE IN MARIO, kARKAT, tHIS IS PRACTICALLY NORMAL,
Toad: I guess you're right.
Mario: Are we going or what?
Toad: Yup! Hope you're ready for adventure.
Mario and Luigi: Oh yeah!
Toad: Then away you go!

OK, FUCK YOU TAVROS, GET OUT. I'M DONE.
oK, aT LEAST i GOT A CHANCE,,,
AND YOU DID A BAD JOB AT IT TOO, CONGRATULATIONS.
AND NOW IT'S... MOTHERFUCK. MOTHER. FUCK.
ERIDAN, JUST... JUST GET IN HERE...
wwait fuck
i havve to riff wwith this
I'M MORE OF A THING THAN YOU ARE, FISHFUCKER
wwhatevver lets just get this shit ovver wwith

THE FESH PINCE OF BELL AIRNO pffffhahaha
this'll be fun,wwont it kar? NONONONONONONONO FUCK YOU ERIDAN
by dug seachangNO NO NO NO
Episode title - BACK HAVEING FUN hahaha OH GOD WHAT THE HELL
doomNOT THE THEME SONG PLEASE DAMMIT NO. i wwould say somethign funny but this is funny enough
doomdoom doom
doom
doomdoomdoom doom
doom
NOEW THIS IS THE STOREY ALL ABOUT HOW MY LIVE GAT TWISTED UPSIDDOWN AND I WANT YOU TO SIT AND LISTEN HOW I BE CAME PINCE OF BELL AIRE! YOU BASTARD seriously i could just be quiet and it wwould still be this funny
da da daaa da
dadadada daaaa da
da da da daaaa da
dadada da da daaaaaa da
WEST FILLADELFIA BOURN AND RAISED ON THE PLAY GORUND IS WHERE I SPEND MOST OF MY DAYS CHILLIN MAAXIN REALKXIN SHOOTIN BBALL UP AT THE SCHOOL WHEN A COMPLE OF GUSY WHO WERE UP TO NO GOOD STARTED MAKING TROUBLE IN MY NEYBORHOOD I GOT IN ONE LITTLE FIGHT AND MY MOMO GAT SCARE AND SAID YOU MOVING TO BELL AIRE
I GOT IN THE CAB AND WHEN IT CAME NEAR THE LISTENCE SAID FESH AND HAD A DICEINDAMEER I SAI DTO BELL AIRE
I PULL UP TO THE HOUSE AT SVEVEN OR EIGHT AND I YELLL TO THE CABBY YO HOMES SMELL YA LATER I LOOKED AT MY KINGDOM I WAS FINALLY THERE TO SIT ON MY THRONE AS DA PINCE OF BELL AIRE!I FEEL DIRTY WHAT THE FUCK WHAT KIND OF HIDEOUS MONSTER COULD DO THSI!? one somehoww more hideous than you
doom doom
doom
It is morning during the day
Uncle Pill is eating eggo wafflysWAFFLYS?! WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK IS A WAFFLYS?!i..dont knoww...im just...laughing...too..hard...
Will: YO uncle pill!
Uncle Pill: WUkk can you not see that I am eating?
Will: I CAN SEE THAT!thats good eyesight
hahahahahahhaha IT HAS THE LAUGHTRACK TOO? WHAT THE FUCKthis just got 10x lamer...or better..not sure..wwhat do you think kar? GO SUCK A BONE BULGE ERIDAN. NO DON'T, YOU MIGHT FUCKING LIKE THAT.
Will: I need 50 bones for a hype new car.
Uncle PIll: now that is way too much monies will you need to get a job do you think i a made out of monies?
Will looks at camera I HATE MY LIFE, SO FUCKING GODDAMN MUCH. i hate your life too
carton comes in
carton: HI big gy!
will: hello carton all ready for school?
carton: u bet your coin! but I need 50 dollars for a book to buy and read and learn
uncle pill: here you go son
will: THAT NOT FARE! you give carton monies. y? OH GOD, MY EYES BURN FROM LOOKING AT THIS. you may wwant to call ter in advvance it just gets wworse
Uncle Pill: Because I dont like you.
hahahahahahhahhahhahahhahahah THAT WASN'T EVEN FUNNY the laughtrack disagrees
Uncle pill: carton needs his monies for a book and u for a car. carton needs the book but u dont need the car like he needs the book and thats importent
Will: BUT!
uncle pill: NOES YOU CANT HAVE MONIE
Will: why not chop my foot off!OH... OH SHIT, I CAN'T FUCKING SEE ANYMORE, FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK. it keeps getting more funny
hahahahahahha
aunt viv: hi honey
uncle pill: hi
will: hi aunt viv
Aunt viv: hi
carton: hi
aunt viv: hi
ashlee: hi
aunt viv: hi ...HOW MANY TIMES DID, DID THEY SAY HI? 4 times
will: u look different!
aunt viv: they hired another actro to play me!OH FUCK, ERIDAN, GO GET TEREZI nah this is too fun to wwatch DAMMIT ERIDAN THIS IS A FUCKING ORDER, GO GET TEREZI! ok i am in the process of getting her....step step step wwalkin sounds step FUCK ERIDAN, STOP BEING A FUCK FACE. I'LL SHOVE MY SICKLE IN EVERY FUCKING ORIFICE ON YOUR BODY IF YOU DON'T MOVE YOUR ASS. okay...right after this riff NO, YOU'RE GETTING HER RIGHT THE FUCK NOW, OR THE RIFF IS NOT GOING TO EVEN HAPPEN. okay okay i got her
here WH4T 1S 1T K4RKL3S??? 1 W4S TRY1NG TO RP W1TH N3P3T4!! I CAN'T MOTHERFUCKING SEE. THAT'S THE PROBLEM. OH 4G41N? TH4TS TH3 S3COND T1M3 4LR34DY, YOU N33D TO T4K3 4 BR34K OR SOM3TH1NG PEOPLE NEED TO STOP EXISTING AND WRITING BAD FANFICTIONS. umm the riff 1'M BOR3D SO 1LL JO1N 1N, YOU DONT M1ND R1GHT K4RK1TTY >:? THAT'S NOT E- YOU KNOW WHAT FUCK IT, SURE, GO RIGHT AHEAD. Y4444Y, SO WH4T 4R3 W3...OH, OH G33Z, 1 LOV3 TH1S 4LR34DY its been a blast so far L3TS CONT1NU3 TH3N, SH4LL W3??? >:]
carton: LOL!
will: can u give me 50 dolalrs for a car?
aunt viv: maybe you shld save your allowance or get a job
will: NO straightforwward.
aunt viv: ok here you go
wlil: CHING CHINGI AM GLAD I CAN ONLY SLIGHTLY MAKE OUT WHAT THIS SHIT FEST SAYS. TRY L1CK1NG TH3 SCR33N K4RK4T!! I'M NOT GOING TO BE LICKING ANY FUCKING THING. karkat just do it so wwe can get through this riffbut the broom closet is getting lonely
hillery: I want to have hump with dug seachang
uncle pill: who the heck is dug seachang?
DUG: Y I AM DUG SEACHANG U SILLY! >:O WHO TH3 FUCK 1S TH1S 4SSHOL3??? 1 H4T3 H1M 4LR34DY I WANT TO RIP HIS THROAT OUT AND SHOVE IT DOWN ERIDAN'S PROTEIN CHUTE. TWO FOR ONE. i liked it better wwhen you wwere in disbelief that this exsisted I LIKED IT BETTER WHEN I WASN'T SHOVED INTO A METEOR WITH YOU.
ahahahahahhhahahhhhahhhhhhhhTHE LAUGHTRACK AGREES WITH ME. L4UGHTR4CK N3V3R L13S, 1 C4N SM3LL 1T B31NG TRUTHFUL wwell the laughtrack is never wwrong indeed
so you wwin this round I ALWAYS WIN. NO ONE CAN BEAT KARKAT MOTHERFUCKING VANTAS IN A WIN OFF, HE IS SIMPLY THE BEST THERE IS. except wwhen you lose FUCK OFF. STOP H4V1NG 4 BON3 BULG3 M34SUR1NG CONT3ST YOU TWO 4ND L3TS G3T ON W1TH 1T IT'S NOT A CONTEST BECAUSE I KNOW I ALREADY WIN. for the last time my name isnt i THAT WOULD'VE BEEN CLEVER FROM ANYONE ELSE.
giraffe: my isnt he charming and good
uncle pill: NO ONE ASKED U GIRAFFE! WH4T TH3 FUCK??? TH3 FUCK 1S 4 G1R4FF3 GO AND CLEEN THE ENTIRE HOUSE A MILLION TIMES
giraffe: instead I will go back to britishland. GOOD DAY SIR
uncel pill: I was kidding! stay pls
girafffe: ok tubby bald manWHO THE FUCK IS GIRAFFE? 1 KNOW!! WHO 1S TH1S G1R4FF3 P3RSON??? 1 W4NN4 KNOW NOW! giraffe is giraffe
hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
UNcle pill: U CANT BE WITH DUG SEACHANG
Hillery: I can do whatever I wan! come one dug we're leavingAND THEN EVERYONE DIES THE END.
DUG: OH BOY OH BOY
Will crashes a car through the window of the kichen!please be dead
uncle pill: WILL!
will: did I do that?awwww THIS IS SO HORRENDOUSLY RETARDED.
RETARDED 1T DO3SNT 3V3N N33D TO B3 M3NT1ON3D
Will: I guess the car was not new after all and was old instead of newredundancy R3DUND4NCY [INSERT SAME WORD AS BEFORE]
carton: U sure did it this time!
will: shut up shortman!
hahahahahaha
Uncle Pill (with camera swirling aruond him): ! !!! OH GOD I JUST NOTICED HIS NAME WAS PILL.
will looks in camera
hahahahahahahahahahahah
COMMERCIAL BRAKE we get breaks? PULL TH3 BR4K3!! OH GOD IF ONLY WE GOT BREAKS.
will and carton are at school in the hallways
carton: do u think uncle pill will care about the whole in the kictchen
will: the only whole he care about is donot wholes!
three white men come in!
white man 1: U R BLACK R U NOT?wwhat
just....wwhat WH4T DO3S B31NG BL4CK M34N?? 4R3 TH3Y D3RS1T3S???
will: yo man yo
white man 2: anser him "homedog!"
will: hey man yo
carton: leave me alone meanie
white man 3: hahahaha look they are black! HAHAHA 3V3N T4VROS WOULDNT S4Y SOM3TH1NG L1K3 TH4T 4ND H3 1S TH3 L4M3ST P3RSON 3V3Rlamer than karkat? Y3S, 3V3N L4M3R TH4N K4RK4T FUCK YOU, I'M AMAZING.
will and carton hug and cry
AWWWWWWWWWWWWW
a dog wearing a funnay hat runs by WH4T
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
hillery and DUG are in a fancy fench restrent
hillery: this is a hype restrent w/ hype food dug
DUG: anything for hump! D1D...H3 JUST C4LL H3R...HUMP??...i...i...wwhat I THINK HE MEANS HUMAN MATING. BECAUSE LET'S JUST GET DISGUSTING.
DUG: you are pretty and fun and hype and good
hillery: LOL! thank you dug
DUG: ANYTHING FOR HUMP, SILLY!
ahahahahahahahahhah
Jaz: OH NO U WILL NOT HAVE HUMP WITH MY WOMAN! TH1S 1S JUST...WH4T TH3 FUCK. TH3Y L1V3 1N TH3 L4ND OF WH4T 4ND TH3 FUCK 4T TH1S PO1NT
ahahahHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
hillery: go away dumb ol jaz!
DUG: YA GO AWAY TO THERE
Jaz: I am going to kick your butt homebouyBOUYS ARE THINGS IN THE OCEAN, RIGHT?
DUG: O RLY?
Jaz: YA RLY
Dug throws Jazz out of restrent!
JAz: AUAUAUAUUUAGGGGGGG
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
AHAHAHHAHAHAH
YAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYY WHOOOOOOOOOO GO DUG GO DUG GO DUG GO DUHGwwhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaatMY M1ND 1S JUST...1M BR34K1NG H3R3, 1 H4V3 NO 1D34 HOW TO TH1NK 4NYMOR3 I STOPPED THINKING AT THE START OF THIS SHIT PILE.
waiter; Your bill is 5 billion dollers
Dug: HOLY SPIDERS!wwhat makes them so holy?
HAHAHHAHA...OH GOD IT ACTUALLY MADE ME LAUGH... K4RK4T! DONT G1V3 1N TO TH3 STUP1D!! 1 WONT L3T YOU DO TH4T!!! I JUST... IT BROKE ME. I CAN'T HANDLE IT ANYMORE, AND NOW I'M LAUGHING AND CRYING AT THE SAME TIME. kar tell me wwhen your done being a wwiggler YOU KNOW WHAT ERIDAN, YOU NEVER GET TO RIFF AGAIN, AND WE'RE GOING TO BREAK ALL YOUR WANDS. SO SHUT THE FUCK UP.
hillery: how are we gonna pay for this?
waiter: wash the dishes and walk the dog!
The dog with the funnay hat walks by again!
DUG: I have a better IDEA!
Dug getts up and sings and dances the NINJA RAP! ...WH4Toh god this is just like the singing part of lightning rises
it wwill probably be just as confusing and painful.
DUG: YO! its da green mashine! GONNA rock the town witout beeing seen! HAVE U EVER SEEN A TORTLE GET DOWN? slammin jammin to new sounds YEAH everybody move! Vanilla is here with Jack Grove! Gonna ROCK AND ROOL this palce! I LOVE NINJA TORTLE BASS! NINJA NINJA RAP NINJA NINJA RAP! GO GO GO GO NINJA GO NINJA GO!GO NINJA GO NINJA GO!GO NINJA GO NINJA GO!GO NINJA GO NINJA GO! GO GO GO GO!THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL. 1M 1NCL1N3D TO 4GR33 4LL OF 4 SUDD3Nme too
yaaaaaaaay
YAAAAAAAAY WHOOOOOOO CHEEEEEEEEEEEEER
Waiter: WOW U R GOOD! the bill is free come back anytime
Hillery: wow good dug you were good and amazing!
DUG: ANYTHING FOR HUMP!
hahahahahahahahahahah I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3 OH GOD N31TH3R C4N 1 H3H3H3H3H3H3H3hahahahhahahahah
Giraffe sings and dances witha broom to JUNGLE BOOGEY for 5 mins
will and carton come home sad and sad
uncle pill is eating more eggo wafflys I WANT SOME EGGO WAFFLYS, HAHAHOH FUCK THAT HURTS, HAHAHA.oh my god he went there hahahah
uncle pill: what is rong boys?
will: yo a very mean stupid unhype men called us black
uncle pill: THAT IS WRONG AND RAISIST! YOU HAVE TO KICK THEIR BUTT
will: word up homey I'm down like a clown! SOM3ON3 G3T G4MZ33, W3 N33D H1S SOPOR P13S!!! 1 DON'T C4R3 WH4T H4PP3N3D L4ST T1M3 1 N33D TH3M!!! OH GOD I TASTE BLOOD, WHAT THE FUCK, HAHAHA.
HAHAHHAHHA H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3
hahahhahahahhahahahhahahhahahahahhahahaaaaaaaah
carton: but what about law and order?
uncle pill: sometimes you have to ignore the laws boyo and do what is right
carton: I meant the show silly!
will looks in camera
COMMERICAL BREAK IT HURTS SO FUCKING MUCH i knoww right
its like there really isnt a commerical but he pu tit in hahahah
Will and carton run up to the three white men in skool the next day!
Will: yo homes me and my shortman here are gonna kick your burr!
carton: we will we will! HEY you called me short!
will: I am sorry carton. SIKE!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHahahahah H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3 OH GOD SOM3ON3 H3LP US PL34S3 THIS IS WHY I NEVER EVER FUCKING LAUGH. FUCK, MY STOMACH!
hahahah i cant feel my think pan hahahaha
white man 1: ok black guys but we cant not fight now in school since that is bad
wihte man 2: but after school in the staple center in a boxing ring in front of everyone in los angles
will: yo man yo where the lakers play bbball?
white man 3: what is the mattere? R U A CHICKEN? H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3 K4RK4T H3LP, 1 C4N'T STOP I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE THE FUCK YOU ARE, I CAN'T SEE, REMEMBER? HAHAHA! H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3 JUST FOLLOW TH3 SOUND OF MY L4UGHT3Ri cant feel any ahhahah of my hah seeennssseeees HAHAHAHAHA, I THINK THAT, THAT HAHAHA, THAT'S YOU RIGHT? NO TH4TS H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3 3R1D4N. FOLLOW TH3 OTH3R SOUND HAHAHAHA OH GOD I TOUCHED HIM, HAHAHAHAHA! SO, SO, YOU'RE RIGHT HERE, HAHAHA! ahhahahahaha get the fuck hahaha away from me hahahaha fuckin hah landwweller haahahah Y3S TH4T 1S H3H3H3H3H3H3H3 M3 NOW H3LP D4MM1T!!! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FUCKING HELP? HAHAHAHAHEHEHEH3H3H3OH GOD WHAT THE FUCK HEHEHE I CAN'T STOP AND NOW I'M LAUGHING TOO HARD H3H3H3H3H3FUCKhahahhaHAHAHAHAHH3H3H3H3H3HAHAH JUST SORT OF, SW1NG YOUR F1ST 4ROUND H3H3H3H3H3H3H4H4H4H4H4H4H44HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHOOHOOHOOHOOHOO H3H3EH3H3H3 LIKE THAT? HAHAH3H3 OW!...OK4Y, 1V3 STOPP3D, TH4NK TH3 LORG.
the three white mean bad men act like ckciekns for 2 minshahahahah am i doing it right haahh...hah...ha?i stopped too i think..hah...oh for the love of gog...hahahahahahahahh
!
will: yo man we will be there!
the three white men walk away with chins up and butts out
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA K4RK4T 1 JUST H1T YOU TW3L3V3 T1M3S W1TH MY C4N3, WHY H4V3NT YOU STOPP3D??? I CAAAAAAAN'T, HAHAHA! hahahah OH GOGD4MM1T
carton: I had better lern to fight real fast !
Wull: U MEAN U DONNT KNOW HOW TO FIGHT CARTON?
carton: only on nintendo!
ahahahahahahahahahahah hahahaahah someone kiiillll meee hahahahah ha i cant breatheAHAHAHAHAAAAA FUCK I CAN'T... BREATHE, AHAHAHA!!! K4RK4T, 1 4M DR4GG1NG YOU OUT OF H3R3 BY FORC3, M4YB3 NOT S331NG TH1S W1LL M4K3 YOU STOP H3H3H3H3H3 OH GOD PLEASE DO IT FUCKING HURTS, HAHAHA!

OK4Y 4FT3R F1V3 M1NUT3S 1 DR4GG3D K4RK4T TO H1S ROOM 4ND TOOK H1S L4PTOP, TH3R3 1S NO W4Y H3 C4N S33 TH1S SH1T NOW and i got better L3TS F1N1SH TH1S 4ND GO M4K3 SUR3 K4RK4T H4SN'T D13D FROM L4UGHT3Rprobably a good idea
5 min thingy of will showing carton how to fight with silly tombone music in backgrnd
Funny things that Happne: carton misses will and falls into girls bathroom, carton punches will and will looks at camera unhert, carton swings and misses will and punches the PRINCIPLE, carton drinks egg juice, finally carton punches will in the face and he spins around cross eyeyed and falls down with his butt in the air
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA YOU 4R3 NOT M4K1NG M3 L4UGH 4G41N F4NF1CT1ON!!!WHOOOOOOOOOOOO
Commercial break for eggo wafflys, pop tarts, new ninja tortles movie, chainsaws, golf clubbs, and nucleer submarinieswhy do they have commercials for nuclear vechicles M4YB3 TH3Y M34N SUBM4R1N3S 4S 1N TH3 K1ND OF S4NDW1CH nuclear sandwwiches
really Y34H, 1TS 4CTU4LLY PR3TTY GOOD, JUST SUBS DY3D GR33N TO LOOK L1K3 TH3Y 4R3 1RR1D4T3Dhuh...oookkkaaay then..back to the riff i guess...
DUG and hillery are haveing hump in the pool house!
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Jaz is in the window and puts on a wolfman mask!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH UH OH!
Jaz creeps in and up to Dug and Hillery haveing hump
Jaz: BOO!
DUG: !
Dug runns away screaming! Camera closeup of Dugs BUTT! 1M 4CTU4LLY RUNN1NG OUT OF M4T3R14L TO M4K3 FUN OF TH1Sme too
so ill just say wwhat.
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Hillery: Jaz you are a big supid jerk!
Jaz: I did it to save and protect u.
Hillery: OH OK!
Jaz lifts up his sungalsess and winks at to the camera.
HAHAHAHAHAHA YAAAAAAAAAAY
aunt viv: what are you doing DUg?
DUG: dumb ol jaz ruined me and hillerys hump
aunt viv: i am sorrie but you cannot always get what u want
DUG: thanks for teh advice aunt viv!
they hug
AWWWWWWWWWW
ashlee smiles at DUG ashlee is not little anymore and is older than before!
DUG: OH BOY OH BOY HOW MUCH LONG3R 1S TH1S??
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
uncle pill: OH NO U DONT!
uncle pill chases Dug around the house for 3 minutes to zany kazoo music untill they finally all crash into giraffe
giraffe: I wonder if they will take me back at teh royal english brittish imperial castle SIGHagain
wwhat.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
FIGHT TIME STR1F3!
carton and will are in only boxer shorts jumping up and down in teir corner
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
black man heping them who is gorge jeffison on that other show: remmeber to sing like bees buzz singing? M4YB3 1TS JUST P3OPL3 GO1NG B333333333333333SSS FOR 4N HOUR, OR 4S SOLLUX WOULD S4Y B3333333TTTTTHHHHHHsounds more entertaining than this T4VROS 1S MOR3 3NT3RT41N1NG TH4N TH1Sanythign is more entertaining than this
.....
can we go wwwatch karkat laugh himself to death
that sounds fun TH1S 1S 4LMOST DON3, JUST 4 F3W MOR3 L1N3S TH3N W3 C4N GO
will: ok
white man 1: lets start the fight you 2 black men
white man 2: but befo we do u shold know someting
white man 3: we are not what we seem at all AHAHAHAHHAHAH!
they rip off their masks and they are REALLY the mean jerman naziman, the man from jepardy, and george t. bush!
willand carton: AHHHHHH!
bush: u dont stand a chance black men!
bush throws fire at will liek firemario! W3 JUST D1D 4 M4R1O STORY!! W3 DON'T W4NN4 DO 4NOTH3R 4LR34DY
black man heping them: DAM!
mean jerman naziman throws ninja stars liek the foot!
balck man heping them: DAM DAM!
jepardy man farts on them!
black man heping them: DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM!dam can describe the very idea that this exsists OR 4S D4V3'S COM1C WOULD S4Y
GOG
D444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444
TH3N 1T JUST GO3S OFF P4N3L FROM TH3R3 1NTO FOR3V3R
will and carton are about to loose
bush: you shdl have quit when you was ahead
mean jeramn naziman: but rathar and instead
jepardy man: u will be DEAD!
URKELL: I DONT THINK SO!
urkerel was ther ethe whole tiime and he has one of leo's katana swords!
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWHOOOOOOOOOOO I GOT TO MY COMPUTER, HAHAHAHA! fuck how SH1T, WHY?? this is wwwhy we should havve locked him in the broom closet and tied him to his favorite chair. H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3 W3 H4V3 4 BROOM CLOS3T?? WHY D1DN'T 4NYBODY T3LL M3??? remember lightning rises
we locked him in it
tied him to a chair and taped his mouth shut...
or wwas that just me
1 JUST SHOV3D H1M OUT OF TH3 ROOM, 1 THOUGHT YOU W3R3 GO1NG TO 3SCORT H1M TO H1S ROOM OR SOM3TH1NG
...then wwe are on twwo different..leevveeells Y3S W3 4R3, NOW L3TS F1N1SH TH1S 4LR34DY
will and carton and black man heping them: thank the stars its urkell here to save us and beat up on the enemies that are mean and stupid! GOOOOOOO URKRLE!
urkelrel laughs! HEHEHEHHHEHE SNORT SNART
HAHAHAHHahahahahahahahahahah H3H3H3H3HAHAHAHAHA STOP L4UGH1NG K4RK4T H3H3H3H3
bush: oh noes
jepardy man: its
mena jerman naziman: urkele!
the mean men explode in a huge fireball that destroys everything in the arena but urkrel and will and carton and the man heping them! D1D TH3Y JUST DODG3 4 F1R3B4LL??
will: yo thanks urkurel
carton: yu were great
urkeley: no problem bob!
they all fly into the sunset
TEH END!
fin
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3HOOHOOHOOHOOHOOOOOoooooo
OK4Y, YOU G3T H1S 4RMS 4ND 1LL G3T TH3 L3GSokay
oh god i am so fucking wore out... i don't even remember the past.. hour, fuck.
all wwill become clear wwhen we post the riffOH, LOOKS L1K3 H3S B4CK TO NORM4L
fuck i can't even hold shift im so tired
1 THOUGHT YOU JUST US3D C4PS LOCK
nobody uses capslock
OK4Y TH3N, W3LL L3TS JUST T3LL YOU TH4T YOU F1N1SH3D YOUR R1FF W1TH 3R1D4N 4ND YOU D1DNT K1LL 34CH OTH3R
okay whatever
im actually suprised by that
wwell noww that thats ovver wwith
screw you karkat im goin'
im just gonna lie on these chairs, if you can lift the arms up for me
and would you mind sending aradia in i think shes next
OK4Y, 1 GOT 1T. SH3'LL B3 1N 4 S3C
N33D 4NYTH1NG 3LS3 K4RK4T??
my laptop
OK4Y H3R3, 1LL G3T 4R4D14 NOW
awesome

[gallowsCalibrator]

terezi said y0u wanted me karkat what is it
yeah i needed you for the riff
0h yes that
are we d0ing the 0ne i suggested
uh sure
we can
excellent
i am m0re than 0kay with that

It was a Peaceful and a sunny day in Moriya Shrine, Sanae, the maiden of the place decided to trip around Reimu's house...so she just stumbled around the house and hit the ground repeatedly it appears s0 learn to walk fuckass she sh0uld try getting s0me r0ckets f0r feet it helps quite a bit
"Suwako, I'll be back in 3 hours, take care of the Temple for me please, don't do
something stupid or something that can make me mad, ok?", Sanae told this to Suwako, the frog girl,a fr0g girl this is why this st0ry is relevent t0 me ribbit i figured when it said frog girl aradia and she departed to Hakurei Shrine, in the border of Gensokyo, but in that same moment that Sanae leaves the temple, anyway, she stayed at the Temple...
2 hours later...
"Man, this is Boring, I have 2 hours sitting here and nobody gets into this Shrine, I'm going to take a nap, maybe something cool will happen here... or so I think..." she is apparently omnipotent and ignorant at the same time s0 y0u mean h0w d0c scratch w0uld be if he was retarded yes In that same moment,that Suwako fall asleep... was that in that same moment a weird portal was opening in front of her!, but Suwako was sooo sleepy, that she thought it was a nightmare, so, she fall asleep again.
"Ribbit, Ribbit, where in the Ribbit world, am I?ribbit ribbit ribbit s0rry the ribbits there made me ribbit you could probably fix that aradia ill ask equius ab0ut it later but still saying ribbit 0ver and 0ver 0n purp0se is dumb maybe its like a typing quirk i guess but im n0t s0 0kay with it, maybe sent me to a weird new level...", a strange figure appeared and acted like Suwako did!, it was a toad, like Suwako, but not so human-ish, more like a robotic being, wait what r0b0t fr0g somebody get equius anyway, that figure jumped to the Shrine's cieling, and began spreading a weird Rain around it, in a thing of minutes, is thing a measure of something now yes it is actually my arm is five things l0ng we better get recognized for this discovery yes we sh0uld this disc0very bel0ngs in a museum wait n0 it d0esnt work like that the temple was doomed, luckily, Sanae appeared...
"SUWAKO WAKE UP!, SOMEBODY DESTROYED THE TEMPLE", i think the snarky remark here sh0uld be n0 shit i hope someone gets viciously brutalized in this story because stupidity is abound scanning stupidity is 100% Sanae screamed when she saw the temple doomed, in few words, in ruins, when Suwako woke up, she screamed so hard, that even woke up the lazy girl from Makai, Komachi, "who the heck are you strange thing?, why do you destroyed the temple?, ANSWER ME!", i think wh0ever created the r0b0t was smart en0ugh t0 add any kind 0f ai bey0nd destr0y this i dont even understand what just happened Sanae was really mad in that moment, shouting to the strange figure,"ME?, I'm Toadman, from Another Universe, 0h s0 it can talk Toadman answered, this was your base eh?, well, looks like I made a mistake, or so, BWAHAHAHAHHAHA,what i agree what anyway, I came here to conquer this weird medieval place", after Toadman said this, decided to attack Sanae, she attacked him, but since Technology can defeat Magic so easily... Toadman won, i think eridan w0uld l0ve this 0utc0me pers0nally i like it as well g0 r0b0ts the story is too horrible really for me to care and then Sanae just made some scratches at him, so, she fell..., "SUWAKO!, run away, I'll be fine", Sanae said this with the last breath... before she fanited.
Suwako managed to run away... "Damn, what kind of idiotic leaves their trash here in Gensokyo?, a robot?, i am a bit less than 0kay with that alm0st 0ffended you probably shouldn't be no you most definitely shouldnt be because well fuck i forgot my reason i am w0ndering why y0u are n0t yelling and n0t tearing this apart but id rather n0t kn0w because i d0nt care really im too tired to hold shift besides that what do you mean besides that i am pretty much too tired to do anything nevermind the c0nversati0n is irrelevant I suppose that Marisa can explain me this..i dont like grammar either what this grammar of y0u speak." she said to herself, and then ran to Marisa house, to look for help, when she arrived...
"Marisa, are you here?", Suwako called to door desperately, "Suwako, you look pale, what happened?", Marisa answered, "Somebody from another dimension called Toadman destroyed the Moriya Shrine!, you must help us!, the worst is that Sanae got defeated by that thing", Suwako explained, but... "Maybe this can help you to defeat Toadman, take this Spellcard", Marisa gave to Suwako an special Card called D.B EX, "D.B EX?", i cann0t determine what that w0uld even mean what kind of card is this, I can't feel magic from this thing", Suwako asked with curiosity to Marisa, "Don't worry about this card, just use it in the final blow, this will do the rest, ok?, good luck Suwako, Gensokyo counts with you!"
Suwako ran back to the Shrine, and then...
"You again froggie? ribbit wh00ps, wanna get blasted like your friend?", Toadman said, "ME?, to lose like a scum like you, never!, prepared to be toasted", Suwako replied, with this last words from her, she decided to fight him once and all!wow so much buildup to this yes i am feeling excitement for this wait n0 i am n0t
Suwako made the first attack, she summoned a Pound, but since Toadman is.. well a toad, the attack didn't affected himsuddenly its become that retarded card game tavros plays fiduspawn is an 0kay game no it isnt whatever, then he... "Rain Flush!", Suwako got pretty injured, so she tried to run to the pound to regain health, but toadman reached her and then he hit, throwing her far from her pound , Suwako used a spell card and Toadman used his normal buster, it was so closed the powers that they usedwhat, that Toadman decied to retired himself before he was destroyed by Suwako, "Damn, this Toad is pretty hairy, t0ads are warty n0t hairy try t0 use relevent terms ribbit what if theyre both have you even touched one and even if you have youre a robot how would you tell i technically was 0ne well i was a fr0g but i think the differences are few I can't keep myself longer, but I must do it, for Sanae-Sama!"
"Megaman can stand a match against me, not you girlie", Toadman insulted Suwako, "I'm not a girlie, I'm a goddess, if y0u are a g0ddess why d0nt y0u snap y0ur fingers and make him expl0de because theres no tension in that p0int taken you piece of scrap idiot!", Suwako answered, in that same moment, she summoned the card that Marisa gave to her, "Spell card!, D.B EX!", "D.B?, oh no!, not that!, how do you found my weakness, you girlie?", Toadman was very scared, but when she summoned the card,
Toadman tried to reply it with a Rain flush attack, he failed, because Suwako's Hat covered his eyesthis makes sense it d0es make sense n0 wait it d0esnt because its stupid, "you can't come here because you want to, MY NAME IS SUWAKO, I'M A GODDESS, NOT A GIRLIE, REMEMBER THIS ON YOU COMPUTER MIND, YOU IDIOTIC ROBOT!, 0kay this girl is starting t0 get t0 me im surprised this is a completely shocking development this is gensokyo, not a futuristic world, return back to your universe!" After this words, Suwako defeated FINALLY Toadman, with that Spell card, you wanna know what does mean, I'll not tell you, D.B is a name of a weapon in Megaman 4 oh hey thanks for tellr telling us, so, guess it... h0w ab0ut n0 y0u damn idi0t
Sanae waked up after the fight, "Damn, what happened, Suwako, you defeated that toad by yourself?", Sanae asked to Suwako, very amazed, "Sanae, I did it, I'm a goddess y0u are n0 g0ddess after all", Suwako answered, Sanae then gave a place in the Moriya shrine to her, "I'll beat that Hakurei Temple, hehehe", "huh?, did you said something Sanae?", Suwako asked, "hmm, no Suwako, I haven't said anything, go and rest yourself, ok?" 0kay n0 fuck y0u
End

this st0ry has actually pissed me 0ff
i need t0 break s0mething n0w
i guess im sorry
now get the fuck out
i am g0ing
send uh
dammit
kanaya c0rrect
kanaya yeah
she will be here then


fuck how long does it even take
she should be here by now

----

:33 < this is my furrst time
;33 < be gentle
ummm okay
X33 < what does that mean anyway?
uhhhhhh what???
X33 < vriska told me that you should say that your furrst time
:33 < *ac shrugs confusedly!*
its mine too!!!! so uhhh where are we anyways?
:33 < it's a theatre!
:33 < karkat invited us all here to watch some movies or something
:33 < but apurrently they're really really bad? XOO
okay then... let's go i guess!!!!


DOMO: {is being carried by Lemon} OH GOD PLEASE DON'T LET ME GO TO AMERICA JAPAN :?? < where is AMERICA JAPAN?they're two countries!!! on earth at least...IS MY HOME DAMNIT
LEMON: Baby.
{Cut to: America with T Pedo so hes a pedophile or what?? and Bell}
IM A BELL:33 < and im a kitty! *meow meow*: Look, I know you don't want to leave, but you're scaring our cats. :33
T PEDO: But-
{Bell roundhouse kicks T Pedo onto the street in Japan where the airplane to America is. Lemon and Domo are there}
DOMO: O HAI THAR.
LEMON: Domo, I think your friend landed on my shoe. Anyways, who the hell are you? uhhh, i'm jade and that's nepeta! heh :33 < i don't think he's talking to us jadeim trying to be funny...
T PEDO: Oh hey! I'm Timothy Alvin Pedo. we didn't need to know your full name....
DOMO: HAY WANNA BE BEST FRIENDS F(urr)OREVER
T PEDO: OKAY
DOMO: LAWL :??its slang on earth, you wouldnt get it!! LET'S SHARE A SMOOTHIE so smooth!! BJ :33 < *laplaplap*

XOO < *ac got brain fr33ze!!!*
T PEDO: SORRY, I'VE BEEN BANNED FROM THE SMOOTHIE SHOP and all schools within fifty miles of my house!! get it? because his name is t pedo??? :// < i think you're trying too hard jade :c!!
DOMO: OKAY HAVE THIS INVISIBLE SUIT B33 < gentlemeown{puts an invisible suit on T Pedo, but it malfunctions and he can't take it off} AND PLUS THIS IS A JAPANESE SMOOTHIE SOP whats a sop anyways?? X33 < you mean that's not a human thing?? no....maybe it's a japanese smoothie soap!!

T PEDO: ...THEN WHY DID I NEED THE SUIT GET IT OFF I WANNA BE SEEN AT THE SOP :33 < are you sure because it k33ps happenning X33 no i'm pr- actually its a place where people go to dance!! :33 < oh! that sounds cool! you should take me to a sop sometime!
DOMO: Why don't you just TAKE it off? that would be too obvious, duh!!
T PEDO: BECAUSE I LIKE YELLING XOO < these guys are almost as bad as karkitty! X33{tries to pull the suit off} IT WON'T COME OFF AND OH GOD THERE'S A RAT IN IT gross a ratttt!!!:33 < i'll get that fur you

LEMON: OH HOLY HELL {whacks the rat but misses} :(( < i said i got it!HOLD ON I'LL PUT SOME WATER ON YOU {throws some water, but it gets worse and makes T Pedo fall into the water and drown} :oo how do you drown in a bucket??? XOO < ew jade that's just gross! what about it?
DOMO: HOLY ASS DIPPED IN DAMN ACID. these guys swear more than dave does!! {jumps into the water and does CPR on T Pedo}
T PEDO: BLARGH! {claws extend from the suit, and he starts scratching up Domo's face}X33 < hissssss!
DOMO: AHHHHH HOLY HELL IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THIS ROOM
JAPANESE LADY: Watashi gozen ato dokutoru! :DD < uguu kawaii desu na~ bakumon sushi pokemon :(( < i don't even know what i just said!

DOMO: ONE THAT SPEAKS ENGLISH?
IM A BELL:{mouth grows giant} WAIT! I CAN USE MAH MARY SUE POWERS!its a little sad when you admit you're overpowered.... STICK THESE {pulls out two Babelfish} BABBLEFEYESH didn't you just say it was babelfish??:33 < no it's clearly something difurrent! X33
IN YOUR EARS.
DOMO: OKAY. {sticks them into his ears} SAY IT AGAIN.
LADY: Watashi gozen ato dokutoru! :33 < ayso speaku japanesu!!! X33 uhhh, pu shu ma ga ga

am i doing it right??? :33 < *ac shrugs*

DOMO: So you are a doctor?
LADY: Sayou.:33 < i didn't say anything! you! heheeh

DOMO: She said yes. So, since you are a docter, My friends drowning. DO CPR. B33 < *PUSHY PURRSON COMAND YOU DO CPR FOR 100DICROUS (h33h33) REASON*are you pretending to be that creepy testicle dude? he's gross!!!! B33 < F001ISH HUMAN I AM A PURRFECT SPECIMAN OF TROLL KINDh3h3h3h3h3h3h3h3 or4ng3 cr34ms1cl3s:((

LADY: Watashi iyoku. {Leans onto T Pedo and does CPR}
DOMO: She said "I will". {takes out Bablefish} wrong they're obviously babeleyefish!
IM A BELL: Good.
LEMON: I have a seahorse in America.8(( < wwhy wwon't anybody lovve me Let's go before the plane leaves. {a plane to america with the American flag on it pulls in} Just on time. Let's go. :33 < this is air nepeta welcome to badfic airlines i will be your captain today! and i'm the witty copilot!!! :33 < h33h33!

{they all walk in}
IM A BELL: ...Now what?
LEMON: Sit down, Captain Obvious. dunununununununununununu obvious man! :33 < dwop dwop dwop dwop!
{they sit down and enjoy some peanuts}
T PEDO: Wait, if I'm invisible, how did that doctor... Nevermind.
DOMO: Oh crap. She could have been making "sexy sex sex":?? < whatty what what? sexy sex sex is what you do when you kiss someone's hand (hehehehehehe) :oo < i had sexy sex sex with feferi??? XOO pshehehehehehe >:33 < what are you laughing about this is serious! its a symbol of friendship duh!!! :DD < oh okay! i should go have sexy sex sex with karkitty then! :33
if she missed, {shutter} Well, at least she was hot.
T PEDO: And asian. {somehow wellfaces whats a wellface???, even though he's invisible}
LEMON: Those girls are hot. *takes off glasses*YEAAAHH. *puts them back on* duh nuhhh! B33
T PEDO: And everything's smaller in Asia. Therefore, nobody will make fun of your... I think you get my point. :33 < i don't! what point? XOO bone buldge size! XOO
{The airplane crashes} :33 < red alert red alert!!! *ac gets in a crash position* copilot jade and captain nepeta going down! pshoooooo!!!
T PEDO: ... {sarcastic} Well, THAT was an interesting crash. :DD < thank god there were no inpurries! and that day everybody lived, and it was happily ever after:33 < and the doctor danced!
IM A BELL: Quiet, T Pedo! We ran out of lampshades back when we were on the Island of Tropus! tropus pocus! :33 < i don't get it its a human thing!! :33 < *ac shrugs*
DOMO: ...How were we the only one on this plane? And how did we just land on an island? Wait... {reads plane} Plane to Amercia!? Amercia must be the name of the island we're on OH CRAP IS THAT A SHARK unfortunately, it wasn't happily ever after with the captain and the copilot... :33 < yeah we still have to k33p reading this stupid thing! XOO
T PEDO: O DER. pee-yoo, that is a bad oder! :33 < i don't ge- OOOHHHH h33h33h33 BUT YOU ARE DOMO YOU CAN EAT THE SHARK WITH YOUR DOMO-MOUTH stop shouting, its hurting my ears!!!!

DOMO: GOOD POINT GEET IN MAH BELLEH SHARK {eats shark in one bite} :oo thats nothing, dave eats sharks for breakfast every day!! :OO< so cooooool! :33 8) i knoww!!! and his brother eats killer whales for lunch!!! :// < okay i guess and john's dad eats bermuda triangles for dinner!!!!! heheheh :(( < um, about his dad.... what about him? :33 < ....never mind! let's just focus on this horrible thing! X33 okay then!!
T PEDO: BAWWWW WHY DIDN'T YOU SAVE SOME FOR ME I'M A DOMO-THING TOO APPARENTLY
DOMO: THERE'S ONE ON YOUR LEG. DIG IN.
T PEDO: ...THAT'S NOT MY LEG. ... {passes out} so many immature jokesss!!! :?? < it's his arm? no its his hand
{The doctor lady rushes in and brings him to life} :33 < she must have b33n a princess!
T PEDO: ...GET THE GODDAMN SHARK OFF MY DI-{passes out again} apparently it went over to his dinner (heheheh)
LEMON: ...DAMNIT T PEDO THERE IS NO SHARK ANYWHERE ON YOUR BODY. IT'S LAYING NEXT TO YOU. how does he know? isnt he invisible??? this is so confusing!!!
T PEDO: ...OH OKAY :?? < wasn't he passed out?
DOMO: NOW DIG IN OR I'LL EAT IT.
T PEDO: OKAY, MOM {eats the shark, which looks really disturbing considering he's invisible}
{The island they're on explodes. :(( < i can't even come up with any thing funny fur that alas, for it was too late for the captain and her copilot...Domo, T pedo, Lemon, and Bell somehow survive.}
T PEDO: OW... I GUESS
{Pan out to see a man with only one eye in his underwear dancing with some TNT} :33 < domo, m33t the demo! hehehehehehe!
MAN: WEEEEE are family! i got all my sisters with me!
T PEDO: GO STICK THAT TNT UP YOUR ASS
DOMO: Who the hell are you talking to?
{The man disappears and music from Phantom of the Opera plays}
T PEDO: ...BUT I'VE NEVER SEEN PHANTOM OF THE OPERA
{Michael Myers comes out of nowhere}
MICHAEL MYERS: ... Hey guys. I'm here to kill... {looks at card} Timothy Alvin Pedo, is it?
{T Pedo walks behind Michael Myers and is unseen because he's invisible}
T PEDO: SIC SEMPER TYRANNIS! :(( < that's what troll john wilkes booth said when he killed troll abraham lincoln... that's just uncool DD: wasnt it the caeser salad dude??? :33 < who? caeser salad was president of the usa on earth from 1360 to 2001, it was tragic when he died :33 < ooooooooh! okay X33{pulls out a butcher knife, starts hacking Michael Myers into pieces}
{Freddy Krueger comes out of nowhere}
T PEDO: ...I'M NOT A CHILDRENS AND I'M AWAKE HAHAHA YOU CAN'T KILL ME
FREDDY: ... AW DAMNIT. {Warps away}
{Jason Voorhees comes in}
T PEDO: GO BACK TO YOUR LAKE, VOORHEES.
{A single tear drops down Jason's face. manly tears!!!! He disappears. Leatherface appears}
T PEDO: ...You know your chainsaw is on fire, right? :33 < ohh! ohh! we n33d to get kanaya a flaming chainsaw!!! *ac writes the idea down in her handy cat notepad!*
LEATHERFACE: ...Is this the Evilcon? I heard Jason Voorhees, Freddy Krueger, and Michael Myers would be here. :33 < whoever THEY are ://
T PEDO: ...Oh. Sorry, I thought they were trying to kill me. Umm... {points to the pile of :33 < (robot) body parts}That's what's left of Myers. I scared the other two off.
LEATHERFACE: HI MICHAEL HI MICHAEL XOO < never mind these guys are worse than karkitty!

REMAINS OF MICHAEL MYERS: GET OUT OF HERE BACKSEAT KILLER.
{Leatherface warps away and Domo feeds Michael Myers to that crazy man}
LEMON: AHAHA NICE GOING DOMO yeah domo that was radical!!! :33 < *ac knocks out a wicked high-five!!!!!*
T PEDO: I'D WELLFACE BUT MY HEAD APPEARS TO HAVE IMPLODED :33 < i'd say something funny but my thinkpan appears to have imploded furom how kinda dumb this whole story is X33
DOMO: HEY LOOK IT'S A SUPER POWERED TRAMPOLINETM :33 < *boing!* AND A PLANE RIGHT OVER IT. the explosion doesn't stop nepeta and the copilot's wish to fly! :33 < *captain nepeta says that you can't stop purrogress!* SHOULD WE JUMP, MACINTOSH? :33 < yessss please make it stop :((
{Domo pulls out a Macintosh computer labeled "Big Mac nah i'd rather have fries. heheheheh/" and hugs it}
IM A BELL: BLAAAGH MACS {pulls out an axe, chops up the Mac}
LEMON: OH MY GOD! YOU KILLED BIG MAC! alas poor bigmac-ick, i knew him well :?? its a quote from troll shakespear :33 < oh! by putting troll in front of his name it suddenly makes complete and total sense! see of course!!
{Domo pulls out an invincible Macintosh also labeled Big Mac}
IM A BELL: BLAAAGH INVISIBLE MACS {pulls out an invisible axe, chops up the invisible Mac}
LEMON: ... IT WAS INVINCIBLE NOT INVISIBLE YOU IDIOT. ughhhh stop yellinggggg!!! you yell more than, uhhh, i'm bad at similes.... :33 < you yell more than karkitty after getting his toe smashed by his encryption modus!!! uh yeah that!!! :PP
IM A BELL: ...BLAAAGH INVINCIBLE MACS {pulls out an axe that can destroy anything and attempts to chop up the invincible Mac.} :33 < this guy is worse than jade at driving a joke into the ground X33 hey, shut up!
{THE ALMIGHTY APOCALYPSE occurs. XOO < why??? why does this happen???? can we get some answers here????Domo, T Pedo, Lemon, and Bell crawl into a secret chamber labeled "APOCALYPSE SAFTEY! hidden in sand and dust.} how convenient! :(( < this isn't funny anymore i'm getting fursturated
IM A BELL: HEY I HAVE AN IDEA. {pulls out a calculator, types in "80085". it looks like "BOOBS". T Pedo can fly now}
LEMON: BOOBS.
T PEDO: BOOBS.
DOMO: BOOBS.
IM A BELL: ...BOOBS DAMNIT. XOO < WHY??????????????????????????????????????????????
{Everyone grows boobs} as a female i find these jokes rather insulting!!!
T PEDO: ...DAAAAAAANG.
DOMO: ...LOOK AT THOSE HONKERS ON T PEDO. :33 < hOnK!!! h33h33 :o)Oh wait he's invisible. Carry on. HEY BELL CHECK IF THE APOCALYPSE IS OVER AFTER 5 SECONDS.
IM A BELL: Umm... {walks out, comes back in with his head charred} Nope. It's still goin' on.
DOMO: ... We'll be in here for a while. So we should put stuff in it.
{A Pacman machine, an HD TV, a shrine dedicated to Domo III (1852-1901 we will never forget) he lived to be 49? how early!, an infinite amount of pies in a pantry, and an EAIaEASS (Emergency Apocalypse Inside an Emergency Apocalypse Shelter Shelter) appear.} redundency isnt funny!
T PEDO: Why would we need a-
{A spider drops down from the ceiling. Its mouth grows huge, and many, many s spew out of it} dont you mean manies???? ::::33 < watch oooooooout!!!!!!!! ::::PP
IM A BELL: OH GOD XOO < oh man oh god oh man
LEMON: QUICK! INTO THE EMERGENCY APOCALYPSE INSIDE AN EMERGENCY APOCALYPSE SHELTER SHELTER! XOO < *ac bashes her head repeatedly against a wall!*
{They run into the shelter. Every piece of furniture from the other shelter is in here and there are no spiders.}
IM A BELL: ...Please tell me there isn't a Emergency Apocalypse Inside An Emergency Apocalypse Inside An Emergency Apocalypse Shelter Shelter Shelter. aaaaaaaah!!!!!!!!
DOMO: Hm... {looks down for a second} Yes.
IM A BELL: Urgh. I hope we don't have to use it.
{A hurricane starts. well that was exciting They climb into the shelter. It looks just like the other ones, minus the spider and hurricanes.}
IM A BELL: ...I shouldn't mention the Emergency Apocalypse :33 < why Inside An Emergency Apocalypse X33 < why???Inside An Emergency Apocalypse XOO < WHY???? Inside An Emergency Apocalypse Shelter Shelter Shelter Shelter :((. {wellfaces} :33 < *ac wellfaces too, whatever that is!* its a human thing for..... well i dunno!!!!
{A cage falls out of the sky, onto Im a bell. Domo then pulls out Big Mac the Macintosh Computer and turns him on. turns him on? this is going in the after morning section!!!! XOO < i'm still upset after that last one karkitty did... Various clicking sounds are heard. Soon, Domo springs up.}
DOMO: ...THE APOCALYPSE IS OVER AFTER AN HOUR. YAY. ... Now how do we get up, Big Mac? well you bring up your legs and stands duh
BIG MAC: {robotic voice} Well, you can use your boobs to make the hurricane and spider distracted. :33 < *ac begins crying* jade make it stop
DOMO: YOU RULE. {turns off Big Mac the Macintosh Computer and takes Bell out of the cage. Everyone's boobs grow. They put on attractive wigs and go of the shelter and out of the shelter and out of the shelter, unharmed. The Apocalypse is now over. Yay.}
IM A BELL: ...WHY DO I STILL HAVE BOOBS
{The island somehow regrows. A plain (:33 < i think you mean plane? or maybe it's juat a grassy area?for America pulls in. copilot jade here to the rescue!!!! They get on. After the plain they're on a long length of flat land???? is blocked by clouds, it fades to T Pedo and Bell's house. Domo, Lemon, Bell, and T Pedo walk in. T Pedo picks up some mail saying "TO T PEDO, FROM PEDOBEAR (YOUR COUSIN)". before you ask nepeta, pedobears are wild species of cats!!! XOO < *ac is to busy hitting her head against a wall while crying to care!* T Pedo opens it and reads it out loud.}

T PEDO: "DEAR T PEDO, HOW HAVE YOU BEEN? I AM FINE. I HAVE KIDNAPPED MANY SMALL CHILDREN. PLEASE DO NOT CALL THE POLICE. -PB". and jelly sandwich!
{Lemon pulls out a cell phone. T Pedo knocks it out of his hands.}
T PEDO: HE SAID DON'T DAMMIT
HARUHI SUZUMIYA: Domo, I am your father.
ICHIGO KUROSAKI: And I am your mother.
NARUTO UZUMAKI: And I am your cousin. :?? < what are these things? i guess fathers are like lusii to you??? xO i dunno!!! :33 < weird! :PP
DOMO: O RLY?
EVERYONE: YA RLY!
T PEDO: NO WAI :33 < i can haz musclebeast ch33zeburger? whats a musclebeast anyways??? :33 < it's a giant four hoofed beast that i kill fur food or fur sometimes! oh, uhhh okay! i dont think we have them on earth.... :((
{Pan out to heaven. Chuck Norris wellfaces. Everyone laughs. :(( < *ac doesn't laugh*} *jade does the same while licking herself because she is a cat :3* :33! *jade cutely wrestles with nepeta, like a kitten!* :33 < h33h33h33! *ac tackles jade and kisses her on the hand!* :33 < there! we just had sexy sex sex as furrends!!! :DD hehehehehehehe... yep!
T PEDO: ...That's not funny. :33 < i agr33
{Chuck Norris starts crying.} X33 < even chuck norris started crying!
DOMO: WHY CAN'T WE STOP LAUGHING AHAHAHAHA
ICHIGO: Can I kill you?
DOMO: ...NOT ME KILL THAT DALEK. what's a dalek??? :33 < it's one of the doctor's enemies! the "watashi no pokemon" one? X33 < no, the blue box one! i met him once! he's purrty cool :PP oh. i dunno who that doctor is!!!! :PP < don't worry about it
{Ichigo rushes off and kills a Dalek.} :33 < yeah!!!!!!!!
HARUHI: As it turns out, we were lying. {rips skin off, revealing a large snake}
{Boss music plays. Domo hits the Snake (I'm calling it Snakezon H4R0H1) h3h3h3h3h3h3h3!!!!!! 1m bl1nd 4nd stuff!!!!! :(( < ..... ....what?? :(( < that was purrty mean :(( < i take back my sexy sex sex hehehehehe... you never go back to being a virgin!!! XOO < i didn't fill pails with you though!!! ...i wonder if that's even pawssible...? noooo, virginity counts for sexy sex sexing too... hehehehehe. :(( with a giant sword.}

DOMO: You go girl!
{Pause}
DOMO: ... UM WHAT WHY DID I SAY THAT I DIDN'T WANT TO i dunno but you're hurting my ears!!!
{Snakezon H4R0H1 summons a Playboy bunny and kisses him. him??? i thought they had to be hers!!!! Kisses fly around the room. One hits Bell, costing 10 damage.}
SNAKEZON H4R0H1: You suck Domo! THATS for sure!!!!!
{T Pedo uses WELLFACE ATTACK. Critical Hit! -50 damage!} :?? < so it healed 50 health then?
T PEDO: A-iggght!
{Snakezon H4R0H1 uses IT'S A TRAP on Lemon! SUPER AFFECTIVE! -200 damage! :33 (aka plus 200 hp) Lemon is knocked out!} i guess you cant have over 100 hp???
SNAKEZON: Yay!
LEMON: Wh-whyyyy m-m-meeee...
{Domo uses Y SO SRS on Snakezon! Super affective! -100 damage! Snakezon is struggling!} :33 < nope jade s33 here he got +100 hp and is still up pay attention :PP he's struggling, that means hes almost dead!!!!!
DOMO: Yee-haw! ride 'em cowboys!!!
{T pedo uses MORE THAN JUST A PIECE OF GUM! Knock-out! -900 damage! Snakezon is PURE DEAD! Fade out to a stage. T pedo is probably there, but we don't know because he's invisible.} :PP < no kill like overkill!!!
T PEDO: This song...
Was made by MEEEE...:33 < don't take credit fur this!!! XOO
I star on this show...
Along with DOMO, LEMON, AND BELLLL...
Yes we do, on a SHOW PRODUCED BY THE SOS BRIGADE!
Cue epic guitar solo HEEE-EEER! her what??? finish your SENTENCE!!!!
Oh, and, Pedobear is referenced SOMETIMES.... :33 < yeah, once!
Yes he does...
YEEEEAH!
I'll go munching on a Philly Burger pretty soon...
We are the champions... of the world!
Oh also, directed by trollMarc Summers!
Fuh-hen! FIN! finally!

XOO < thank god!!!!!! that was awful!!!!!!!
i knowwww!!!! man! whoever wrote this should eat themselves!
and then spit themselves out, becuase they're bad tasting!!!!
:33 < they wouldn't spit themselves out
:33 < they clearly have no taste :PP
heheheh....
let's just agr33 to never talk about this okay???
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN MY THEATER
XOO < run!!!!!
oh noooooo



AND THUSLY THIS SHIT FEAST ENDS, FOR NOW. I GUESS YOU COULD ALSO SAY THIS MARKS THE END OF WHATEVER THE HELL TV SHOWS CALL IT, SEASONS? FUCK, SURE, THIS IS A SEASON.

NOW, WHY DON'T YOU LITTLE NOOKSTAINS GO AND PLAY WITH YOUR BONE BULGES WHILE YOU WAIT FOR THE NEXT EXCITING, SHIT FILLED, BADFIC FILLED SEASON 2. OR WHATEVER THE HELL.