Post by carcinoGeneticist on Dec 30, 2010 10:22:28 GMT -5
SO, I'VE DECIDED TO START WORKING ON THAT SUGGESTION BOX YOU ASSHOLES HAVE SO GENEROUSLY FILLED THE FUCK UP, AND THE FIRST ONE I CLICK ON IS FROM GAMZEE. FUCK YOU, GAMZEE.
Mimi and Suuki, by arisa33
Chapter 1
There was a small knock at the door. The old man opened it up to find a girl of about 18 kneeling on his doorstep.WOW THIS IS A REALLY FUCKING GREAT PLOT, I AM ALL FOR THIS.
"Please, can you spare some food" said the girl "only a little will do"
"fine, fine" said the man "but only a little because I can barely feed my family.
Letting the girl in was his first fault.
Suuki Stood up and walked inside. Her skin was pale, slightly blueWHAT THE FUCK, but mostly a crème color. She wore a white kimono which was tied at the waist with a loose blue bow. She had long light blue green hair that went down to her hips, and tends to wear a lot of fishnet.I'M STARTING TO SEE A TREND WITH THIS FISHNET SHIT.
When the old man turned his back on her she struck, biting his neck and slashing his throat. The blood splashed across Suuki's face, making her smile (just a bit) and she shoved the spiked heel of her shoe into the corpse.WOAH, SHIT, THIS SUDDENLY GOT FUCKING AWESOME.
"Mimi!" Suuki called.
A petite girl walked to Suuki. She had blond hair pulled into a low ponytail. Mimi wore black leggings that stretched to her knees. She also had a shirt that said "POCKY" and showed A LOT of cleavageOH GOD DAMMIT., similar to Suuki's, except Suuki had fishnet over hers.
Mimi also had a two-sizes-too big black sweatshirt. Her ninja headband was not there, just like Suuki. Mimi lost hers (and didn't care, she was a freakin' mortal goddessWOAH, WHAT, and didn't need a freaking headband. Suuki never got one in the first place.
*Suuki in chibi form off to the side* DAMN U HIDDEN MIST!)AND NOW, I HATE THIS STORY AGAIN.
Anyways, Mimi jumped into the house to rummage around the kitchen. When Mimi returned, she had one onigiri. "DAMNED CHEAPSKATE!" she pouted and ate the onigiri.SHOULDN'T THERE BE A FAMILY SOMEWHERE IN HERE, COWERING?
"Okay Mimi, you've gotten one mochi, two dango, and that. We have only one more house to go to, so hope for the best from this house." Suuki said.THIS BETTER MEAN MORE VIOLENCE, I SWEAR TO GOG.
"Dammit.." Mimi grumbled. The two girls walked out the door and headed to the next house.
The Akatsuki we're eating their daily dinner: burnt peanut butter.ALRIGHT. WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING.
"THIS F*****G SUCKS! I WANT F*****G REAL FOOD FOR ONCE DAMMIT!" Hidan yelled as he slammed his fist onto the table.HOW DO YOU PRONOUNCE *? DO YOU JUST SAY STAR?
"I did the best I could do Hidan. It's not like you can do any better. My burnt peanut butter was a whole lot better than your berry ashes." Itachi said calmly while applying his black nail polish to his toenails.OH JEGUS, MORE EMO SHIT? NOT AGAIN.
"WHY YOU LITTLE—" Hidan tackled Itachi to the ground. Kakazu, Kisame, Sasori, Deidara, Zetsu and Tobi got up and stared at the two fighting.
"Don't you think we should stop them?" Kakazu asked.
"No, let 'em fight." Kisame said, slightly interested in the epic chibi battle.WHAT THE FUCK IS A CHIBI?
Chapter 2
A knock at the door stopped the fight.
"Who the hell is that?" Hidan asked, annoyed by the pause of chibi bloodshed.LISTEN, I'M ALL FOR BLOODSHED AND GORE, BUT WHAT THE HELL IS A CHIBI?
"Hidan, just answer the damned door." Kakazu said. Hidan went down the long hallway, cursing all the way. When he opened the door, he saw Suuki (but he doesn't know her now).OK.
"Please sir, can you spare us-"
"HELL NO BITCH!" Hidan slammed the door in her face.AT LEAST THERE'S A SANE CHARACTER, HERE.
Outside, Suuki was twitching with anger. For the first time, she had been cheated out of her blood.
"He did NOT just call me a bitch and slam that door! HE DID NOT JUST DO THAT!"OH, BUT I THINK HE DID, BITCH
"Uh-oh…." Mimi slinked behind Suuki.
As Hidan was walking back to the table, Suuki smashed the door down. Hidan could practically SEE the bloodlust in her eyes.
"GIMME YOUR BLOOD GOD DAMMIT OR SO HELP ME I'M GOING TO RIP YOU TO F*****G PIECES!YOU WEREN'T GOING TO DO THAT ALREADY?" She screamed. Suuki summoned black roses from the ground and twisted them around Hidan's ankles. She began to pull him towards her.
The rest of the Akatsuki were at the table once again when they heard the crash. When they reached the front hall, what they saw was really funny:
A strange girl controlling black roses was pulling Hidan by the ankles screaming "GIMME YOUR BLOOD ALREADYY!" while Hidan was clawing the ground screaming "GET AWAY FROM ME YOU F****N' BITCH! HOLY F****N' SHIT JASHIN-SAMA HELP ME!"HOW COME YOU'RE TOTALLY FINE TYPING BITCH AND SHIT, BUT FUCK IS CENSORED? WE KNOW WHAT YOU'RE FUCKING SAYING, AND HELL, IF YOU'RE GONNA USE SHIT, BITCH, AND WHATEVER THE HELL ELSE THERE IS, I DON'T GET WHY YOU'RE ADVERSE TO USING FUCK. and a small girl cowering behind the other one saying "ONEECHAN! YAMERO (stop)! Someone's going to hear us!" the petite girl took one look at the crowd they had created and said "Oh effin' shit."GOGDAMNIT, AGAIN?
The three fighting stopped at the same time and staring at them chibi style. Snickering was heard throughout the group. "What's so funny?" Mimi said, obviously insecure about this whole mess.A BLOODTHIRSTY KILLER IS INSECURE ABOUT A CROWD. I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
"What's going on?" A tall red head man with a ton of piercings walked into the room, followed by a woman with blue hair in a messy bun, who had one piercing below her lips. The man had on a tee shirt that said "I Hate Mondays… Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays" on it, rubber duckie pajama pants, and pink fuzzy bunny slippers on.WHAT Without the disturbingly cute clothing, this guy was effin' damn sexy...WHAT. The woman had on a black tank top with the words "I WILL CUT YOU" on it and origami pajama pants.
"GOMENASAI GOMENASAI GOMENASAI! Gomen, but oneechan can be a little crazy on full moons." Mimi sheepishly replied. In the background, Suuki yelled "I DO NOT!"WHAT THE HELL IS EVEN HAPPENING NOW, I JUST GOT REALLY FUCKING LOST.
"Well who the hell are you anyways?" The man asked.
"I-I'm Mimi Hara. I'm kind of a mortal goddess. I control earth." She blushed with embarrassment from the attention. Then she ran behind Suuki for cover. Suuki stood with her arms crossed, which made her cleavage even biggerOH GOG, WHAT (which most would think isn't humanely possible) and probably gave every boy there a mega nosebleed.WHY WOULD THAT EVEN HAPPEN? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THIS STORY
"I'm Suuki. So far I'm JUST Suuki. Nothing else, got it? I control black roses."
"That's it?" he said. (Okay, this is hard to say 'he' all the time so his name is Pein or Leader-sama. The woman is Konan)ARE... ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS? YOU GOT TIRED OF WRITING A TWO GOGDAMNED LETTER WORD?
"All I'm going to tell you." She challenged. Pein was taken aback by her statement . NO ONE challenged him. EVER.OH MAN, YOUR POINT GETS ACROSS MUCH BETTER WHEN YOU CAPITALIZE CERTAIN WORDS, I DEFINITELY SEE NOW, THAT HE IS NOT A MAN TO BE MESSED WITH.
"I hope you realize I can kill you." He said.
"I hope YOU realize I can f*****g destroy your punk ass and send it down to effin' hell. And I will give it to Jashin-samaWAIT, WHO? so he can burn it will Hell's effin' fire!" Suuki yelled.THE NEXT TIME I SEE THE WORD EFFIN, I AM GOING TO BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF THE NEAREST THING
"I'm sooo sorry! Suuki's low on blood intake and is kinda on edge right now. She doesn't mean anything she says right now. I'm soo sorry!" Mimi stepped in while bowing a ton to Pein.
He smirked. "These girls have power, attitude, and obviously know how to disguise and infiltrate. These girls may be of good use." He thought.
"Want to join the Akatsuki?" Pein offered.
"You say what now?" Mimi asked.OBVIOUSLY THE BEST CHOICE OF WORDS.
"Hell yeah." Suuki said. She and Pei n bowed to each other and closed the deal.AND THEN, EVERYONE DIED, THE FUCKING END.
Chapter 3EXCEPT FOR, SADLY, THAT WASN'T THE CASE.
Suuki and Mimi joined the Akatsuki last chapter.OH, THANK YOU FOR THE RECAP, I HAD FORGOTTEN WHAT HAPPENED OVER THE LAST TWO SECONDS. I forgot to add what they look like so here it is: Mimi made a black shirt with a red cloud pattern and Suuki has an Akatsuki kimono. They both got sent on a mission to infiltrate Konoha by becoming ninja there. In this, the Rookie 9 always plays truth or dare. Suuki and Mimi had to go. Enjoy!IF IT WASN'T IMPORTANT ENOUGH TO ACTUALLY BE WRITTEN, THEN WHY EVEN HAVE IT IN THE FUCKING STORY?
"Naruto truth or dare?" Sakura said.
"Dare!" Naruto yelled.
"Okay, I dare you to take off Mimi and Suuki-chan's giant cloaks. I mean, you can only see their heads!"
When Naruto took off their cloaksAND THEY JUST STOOD THERE AND LET HIM?, all the boys had mega nosebleeds. (Oh yeah, Temari, Kankuro, and Gaara are there too)OH, OK.
"S-Suuki-chan? M- M-Mimi-chan? How-" Sakura was stunned. Inner Sakura (HOW THE EFFIN' HELL DID THOSE TWO GET SUCH HUGE BOOBS AND GREAT FIGURES? I DESERVE A BODY LIKE THAT! CHA!)MOTHERFUCKING NUBSUCKER, AGAIN?
"Okay, Gaara, truth or dare?" Naruto said.
"Truth." Gaara said in a monotone voice.
"Do you like any of the girls in this circle?" Naruto asked as a big smile went across his face. Gaara was blushing like crazy. He glanced at Mimi for half a second, and dropped his gaze down to the ground.I THINK THAT WAS A NO.
"…Y-Yes…" Everyone was in complete shock. Gaara NEVER had feelings. EVER!WOW, I NEVER EXPECTED ANYONE IN THIS STORY TO BE OUT OF CHARACTER! WHAT A FUCKING SURPRISE!
"Sasuke, truth or dare?" Gaara asked.
"Hmph, dare." Sasuke smirked. (Just so you know, everyone thinks Sasuke likes Hinata, mostly because she gets a ton of suitors cuz she's technically royalty.)WHO
"I dare you to kiss the girl you love." Gaara smirked as Sasuke's face fell. Sasuke walked over to Mimi and kissed her.OH GOD, GAMZEE, I AM GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU AFTER THIS. Mimi blinked, and wiped the Sasuke-the-perv germs off her mouth, and kicked him right in the one place so many fangirls fantasize about seeingOH, JEGUS.. Sasuke fell to the ground and everyone burst out laughing. Once everyone calmed down, they continued the game.
"Suuki, truth or dare?" Sasuke asked, wincing with pain every time he moved.
"Dare me." Suuki said as she crossed her arms.
"I dare you to strip down to your underwear and make a sexy pose." Sasuke said, smirking.EXCUSE ME, I HAVE SOME THROWING UP TO DO.
"WTF YOU PERVERT!" Suuki yelled.SO, DID YOU SAY WTF OR JUST WHAT THE EFF. I HONESTLY CAN'T TELL.
"No, Oneechan, don't do it!" Mimi said.
"Okay then, I dare you to do it too. And if you don't, you'll both have to ding dong ditch the Akatsuki." Sasuke said.WOW, THAT SOUNDS LIKE THE KIND OF WACKY SHENANIGANS I CAN GET BEHIND
"But we're in-" Mimi was cut off by Suuki smacking her upside the head.
"Ow! Oneechan, that hurt!" Mimi said as she rubbed her head.
"Okay, FINE Sasuke. We'll do it! I hope you're happy." Suuki said the last part sarcastically.OH, MAN, I THINK THIS SASUKE HUMAN NEEDS SOME ICE FOR THOSE HOT, HOT BURNS.
Mimi and Suuki stripped down to their underwear, which was lingerie (courtesy of Hidan followed by a ton of pain in his lower area, courtesy of both Suuki and Mimi.) and when they did their sexy model pose, every boy there had such a big nosebleed they were twitching, on the ground chibi style (yay 4 chibi!)GAMZEE. FUCK. YOU.
"Alright everyone! We're going to stop playing truth or dare and after Mimi and Suuki put their clothes back on then we're going to play 7 minutes in heaven! Got it?" Ino said. She was SUPER jealous of the new kounichis and wanted to make out with Sasuke in a closet.OH, JEGUS, JUST... JUST STOP Once that was achieved, then that would be one more thing to cross of her list of things to do before she turns 20.
All the boys put something in a bag. Then Sakura went first. She pulled out a ramen coupon for Ichiraku's.
"NOOO NOT NARUTO! KAMI HAVE MERCY ON ME PLEASE!"WHO Sakura cried chibi style. Naruto happily dragged Sakura into the closet. Seven minutes later, they came out dating.BECAUSE, SHIT, LET'S STOP MAKING SENSE
Ino pulled out a bag of potato chips. Her face fell.
"NOOOOO! HELP ME PLEASE! ANYONE BUT CHOJI PLEASE!" Ino was dragged into the closet with Choji. Seven minutes later, they came out hating each other. Too bad they're teammates.MAN THIS SURE IS FUN AND EXCITING
Hinata walked up to the bag timidly and picked out a small bag of sand gingerly.
"O-Oh, I g-guess I g-got G-G-Gaara-kun…" She timidly walked into the closet and Gaara followed. Seven minutes later, Gaara and Hinata were dating, Hinata had a strange boost of confidence, and Gaara seemed a bit nicer.I THINK I'M STARTING TO SEE A TREND HERE.
TenTen went to the bag and picked out a feather.
"WTF Neji, why a feather?" TenTen sighed.
"How'd you know it was me?" Neji asked.
"Because Neji, you always drone on and on about being a stupid caged bird and a slave to the main branch and shit.WELL, THEN SHOULDN'T IT BE FUCKING OBVIOUS?" TenTen dragged Neji into the closet of doom. Seven minutes later, TenTen was Neji's finacee (they we're already dating).WHAT
Temari strode up to the stupid bag and picked out a chess piece. She already knew who it was and went into the closet with her boyfriend, Shikamaru. Seven minutes later, both lost their virginity.WHAT (lol)
Mimi walked up to the accursed bag and picked out black eyeliner for emos'.
"You've got to be effin' SHITTING me. JASHIN HAVE MERCY!" Mimi was dragged in by Sasuke.
In the closet
"Okay, so how are we gonna do this?" Sasuke asked.
"WHAT?" Mimi cried.
"How are we going to do "it". C'mon, you know what I mean." He smirked.OH, DEAR JEGUS.
"Fine Sasu-kun." Mimi said seductively. At that moment Mimi pressed a pressure point in Sasuke's neck and he fell to the ground. Mimi laughed evilly with a glint in her eyes. It was a long six minutes of intense pain for Sasuke. When they came out, Mimi had a big victorious grin on her face, and Sasuke was in a heap of sizzling pain and crying in chibi style.YOU COULDN'T HAVE KILLED HIM?
Suuki was last. She picked out a dog collar.
"Umm.. Okay? Who the hell is this?" Suuki said, tilting her head to one side (she does that when she's confused.)
"If you don't know who it is, then we put you in and then we'll put him in the closet. Oh, and you stay in double since you didn't know."BECAUSE THAT MAKES SENSE. Sakura smiled a wicked grin. She shoved Suuki in the closet. Outside, Suuki heard Mimi saying "Oh please Jashin-sama have mercy on Suuki-neechan please."
Suuki had one thing going through her mind at that moment: OH SHIT.THIS IS THE THOUGHT I HAD IN MY HEAD WHEN I SAW GAMZEE HAD SUGGESTED A STORY.
The door opened and Sakura shoved a hazy figure in. He landed on top of her, and their lips met. Suuki was wide-eyed with shock. She broke the accidental kiss to say "Who the hell are you?"AND THUS, LOVE IS KINDLED.
"I'm Kiba. And you must be Suuki?" He said.
"You smell like a dog." Suuki noticed.
"You smell like a pack of wolves." He said playfully.
"Touche." And they ended up kissing again....I WASN'T ACTUALLY RIGHT, WAS I?
That night Kiba escorted Suuki home while Mimi walked near them, but far enough away for their privacy.
"Konbonwa (good night) Kiba-kun!" Suuki smiled.OH GOG, WHY?
"Until next time, Suuki-chan!" Kiba laughed. Mimi and Suuki headed into their apartment.
"Neechan, do you like that Konoha ninja?" Mimi asked, a little worried.
"Mimi, it's fine. Sure, he's really nice, but we're Akatsuki. We kill them. It will suck to destroy them, but oh well. It's the price we pay!" Suuki smiled down at her little 'sister'.SO, THERE'S GOING TO BE MORE KILLING?
Chapter 4
In the morning, Mimi woke up first. When she opened her eyes and sat up, she was face-to-face with Sasori, her Akatsuki roommate.BECAUSE EVERYONE LIKES THE CREEPY FUCK.
"HOLY SHIT WTF SASORI WHAT THE EFFIN' HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE YOU FRICKEN' SCARED ME TO EFFIN' DEATH!" Mimi screamed. Sasori only laughed a bit.I THINK HE'S LAUGHING AT HER ATTEMPT TO CENSORE HERSELF.
"I was told to come here to make sure you and Suuki don't get too close to any of the Konoha ninjas. That's all." Sasori said in a calm voice.SO I AM GUESSING THIS GUY DIDN'T READ THE LAST CHAPTER.
Mimi got nervous ."Yeah none of that's happening here, yeah, you can go back to Leader-sama now and tell him… Yeah…"YEAH, THAT WAS A REALLY GREAT ATTEMPT AT LYING, YEAH.
"Are you sure? I sense you're lying. You know Mimi, if you or Suuki get too close to any Konoha ninja, your lives could be on the line. When we attack them, there can be no second thoughts on attacking anyone. We are Akatsuki, and Akatsuki are not weak. Love or friendship outside of our group can lead to bad things." Sasori said.AND SO EVERYONE DIED THE END.
"J-JUST GET THE EFFIN' HELL OUTTA MY FACE! Ugh, I gotta make breakfast." She punched Sasori in the nose and got out of bed. By the time Suuki woke up, Sasori had gone back to the Akatsuki and breakfast was ready.HOW CONVENIENT.
"Mimi, you didn't need to make breakfast. You know you could've woken me up and-"
"Suuki-neechan, I think it's dangerous that you and Kiba are close." Mimi said.
"Mimi, we're only friends." Suuki tried to laugh lightly but ended up becoming silent.
"Neechan, friends don't make out. We all know that."REALLY FRIENDLY FRIENDS DO. Mimi sat down across from Suuki and foled her arms, making her cleavage bigger.AGAIN? Suddenly, a pigeon had a nosebleed and died from it outside their window.WELP. Mimi told Suuki what Sasori had told her previously that morning. Suuki sat and thought for a bit.
"Okay. I understand. We'll leave tonight. Just to make sure we don't let anything more happen." The eating part to breakfast was a quiet and rest of the day was very quiet and sad for Suuki. She avoided all possible eye contact and didn't speak a word. When she came back to the apartment, Mimi was there with the packs.PACKS OF WHAT?
"Ready to go home neechan?" Mimi asked.
"Yeah." Suuki smiled. "Home."
And with that, she and Mimi jumped out the window and headed to their one place they were accepted: The Akatsuki.WELL IT SEEMS LIKE THOSE OTHER NOW POINTLESS CHARACTERS ACCEPTED YOU JUST FINE, BUT THAT WAS PROBABLY JUST ME.
Chapter 5
"Leader-sama we're back!" Mimi yelled down the hall happily. Mimi skipped down the halls looking for Hidan. Suuki looked around. She was actually happy that she was home and completely forgot about Kiba and Konoha. She liked it at the Akatsuki. When she went to her room, Suuki's roommate Deidara just so happened to be walking out of the bathroom with only a towel on.JEGUS CHRIST. REALLY?
"OH SHIT, SORRY!" Suuki covered her eyes and Deidara had a wtf face.
"HOLY CRAP I THOUGHT YOU'D BE BACK IN A MONTH! NOT TWO EFFIN' DAYS!" Deidara said.THAT DOESN'T EXCUSE YOUR LACK OF CLOTHING.
"Yeah, well I'm back early. Surprise surprise." Suuki said.
"You seem upset to be back at the Akatsuki. I'm getting the feeling you don't like us or here very much." Deidara said.YOU'RE VERY ASTUTE, YOU KNOW THAT?
"No, no it's not that. I'm just not used to living in one spot. I like it, but I need to get used to it. Plus, I need to get some stuff tonight." Suuki looked out the small window on the top part of the wall to avoid Deidara's eyes.
"What stuff?" Deidara catiously pried for answers.
"Okay, so you know how I can summon black roses?" Suuki said.
"Yeah?"OH SHIT, WAIT FOR THIS. WAIT FOR IT... WAIT...
"Well, that's not all. I'm a tailed beast. The ten tails, to be exact.WOW THAT IS REALLY UNEXPECTED WOAH DAMN. I'm still not known because everyone only thinks there's nine. But there are ten tailed beasts. I'm the ten tailed wolf. The demon of the hunt. It's in my nature to be on the move and want blood. I need to feed off blood to live through the days.SO WHY ISN'T THERE MORE FUCKING GORE IN THIS. Mimi knows, and she understands that I need the blood of ten people to quench my thirst, whereas on other days I need five." Suuki confessed.WELL, THAT DOESN'T MAKE MUCH SENSE.
Deidara stared in shock. The Akatsuki were known for hunting tailed beasts.WOAH SHIT, LOOKS LIKE THERE WILL BE SOME CONFLICT. But to have one in the Akatsuki itself? That was insanity, but at the same time pure genius.OH, NO, I GUESS NOT.
"Wow… Suuki, that's a lot… But I hope you know that we are always going to be there for you, and even if you're a tailed beast, we care a lot about you.BECAUSE, DON'T ALL GROUPS HELL BENT ON KILLING GIANT MONSTERS CARE FOR THEIR MEMBERS? And Mimi as well. In fact, I think Hidan and Sasori might actually have a crush on her.BECAUSE WHY NOT. " Deidara laughed a bit and then looked at Suuki. (Oh, and while Suuki was talking she was looking the other way while Deidara was changing so he's in clothes now.)
"You know Deidara-kun, you're an awesome teammate. Arigato!" And Suuki walked out of the room to go find Mimi and the rest of the Akatsuki.AND THEN EVERYONE DIED?
"Huh, Deidara-kun. I think I like that name."BECAUSE IT'S YOUR NAME, DUMBFUCK. Deidara thought out loud. He chuckled to himself and drifted off into a really long cat nap.
Chapter 6
HIIIIII! ^^ lol FISH....WHAT
Chapter six
"HIIIIDDDDAAAAAAAAANNN! WHERE ARE YOU HIDAN!" Mimi yelled down the halls happily. Then Mimi ran right into Pein.
"Leader-sama! Do you know where Hida-nii is?" Mimi asked hopefully.
"Ummm..." Pein was cruel, and definitely evil, but telling a little happy kidSHE'S EIGHTEEN. that their big brother/idol is dead is just plain upsetting. Pein couldn't do it.
"Uhhhhh… GO ASK KISAME BRBCYAL8RKKCYAAND, HOW DO YOU PRNOUNCE THAT? umm BYE!" Pein ran away at the speed of light.
Mimi ran down the hall to find Kisame cursing at Itachi who had just won his way out of washing the dishes from go fish.WHICH IS MUCH MORE PRODUCTIVE THAN KILLING PEOPLE.
"Kisa-nii! Ita-baachan! (Itachi twitches and puts on more anti-aging cream) Where's Hidan?" Mimi asked.WHO THE FUCK MADE THESE NAMES UP?
"He's d-" Itachi was cut off by Kisame.
"He might be with Deidara-sempai!" Kisame laughed nervously.
"Kisa-nii, you're not telling me something. WHERE. IS. HIDA-NII!" Mimi was getting a little pissed off.OH MAN, BETTER LISTEN TO HER. SHE'S ANGRY. APPARENTLY.
"Umm… Sorry, Mimi-chan, but Hidan is…" Kisame didn't really want to finish the sentence.
"Dead." Itachi finished. If anyone can do the job of screwing things like this up better then Itachi, then the world would be sucked inside out.WHAT
"W-w-what?" Mimi started sniffling. Then she remembered the one word 'strong'.
"WHAT?" Mimi punched Itachi so hard he flew into Konoha. LITERALLY.WHAT. I JUST... WHAT?
Mimi stormed off to find out who had killed her beloved Jashin BFFLBIFFLE?, cursing all the way. That night she and Suuki stormed into Konoha with the Akatsuki cloaks on and ready to fight. (Suuki wanted to see Mimi kick some serious ass and help a bit for extra measure.)AND THEN EVERYONE DIED?
The first thing Mimi and Suuki did was blow up a few buildings to make their presence known. In Suuki's head, she heard Pein say:
"Suuki, tell Mimi you and her can't go in there alone. You'll be destroyed."AS LONG AS SOMEONE DIES, I'LL BE SLIGHTLY APPEASED.
"Mimi's on a rampage, you can't stop her until she achieves her imaginary mission. That's all there is to it. I just came for back up. Oh, and MIMI? DESTROYED? That's real funny. DID YOU SEE HOW FAR SHE PUNCHED ITACHI-BAACHAN? I doubt she'll even get a scratch. We'll be fine."ALSO THEY'RE BOTH FUCKING DEITIES. I THINK THEY'RE FINE.
"Well, have a good bloodshed for us Akatsuki, will you? Oh, and it would be great if you could capture a guy there. He's loud, obnoxious, and talks too much. You'll know him when you see him."WOW, WAY TO BE STRICT THERE, PAL
Suuki went to catch up with Mimi. She was already fighting some jonins. Well, Mimi was really just killing them by shoving them into the ground and pounding them with giant balls of earth.WOW, I'M GLAD THIS IS SO DESCRIPTIVE. Suuki got jumped out of nowhere by a few jonins. Suuki looked up. "Full moon already? Well, this will be better then I planned." Suuki thought.
With a sudden and quick hand movements, Suuki yelled:
"WATER STYLE: 10,000 TSUNAMIS JUTSU!"WOAH, WHAT The giant wave crashed onto the jonins. The water drained a ton of their chakra and put them on the ground, flailing like a fish out of water. More hand movements:
"LIGHTNING STYLE: THUNDERBIRD JUSTSU!" A point of lightning started at Suuki's fingertips and shot every single water drenched ninja. And we all know that water + lightning + human= epic electrocution and death.OH, OK. NOW I KNOW.
Meanwhile, Mimi was taking down ninja in large numbers.
"WHO. KILLED. HIDAN-NII? TELL. ME. NOW!" Mimi screamed.
"S-Shikamaru N-N-Nara did m-miss." One ninja said. Smash.AND THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS. BECAUSE OF SELL OUTS.
"WHERE IS HE?"
"At, at his house of c-course." Another ninja said. Crush.SO, WHERE ARE THE DESCRIPTIONS OF FOUNTAINS OF BLOOD SPOUTING FROM UNDERNEATH THE ROCK, AS THE VERY LAST BREATH IS SQUEEZED OUT OF THE PITIFUL HUMANS.
"I KNOW THAT YOU GROUP OF IDIOTIC PIGS! TELL ME WHERE HIS HOUSE IS, FOR THE LOVE OF JASHIN!"WHO
Suddenly, Naruto jumped in front of Mimi and yelled:
"RASENGAN!" It was about to reach Mimi, but someone darted in the way: Suuki. She was bent over for a bit, but slowly got to stand upright with a creepy smile on her face. She started to giggle.SHIT IS ABOUT TO GET REAL. OK, NO IT ISN'T.
"You're funny Naruto. You think I'll let you kill my little sister? That's never going to happen. The best part is that you cannot kill me either. I am invincible. Get over it." The giant swirl where the Rasengan hit went back to normal.
"WHO ARE YOU, HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME, AND WHERE ARE YOU FROM, TELL ME!" Naruto screamed. Well, talked actually, but we ALL know he practically yells when talking.YOU KNOW YOU TOOK THEIR CLOTHES OFF EARLIER, RIGHT?
"Do we really have to answer him Neechan? He's weird. I don't like him. I got Shikamaru and we can go home now." Mimi said as her back-to-normal self.
"Okay, we'll go home little sister. This dense headed boy doesn't recognize us. What a shame. Let's go, I'm getting thirsty." The black started to show up in her hair as Suuki's eyes were also turning red.
I AM WONDERING WHAT HAPPENS NEXT. NO I'M NOT. I'M ACTUALLY CURSING GAMZEE UNDER MY BREATH.
Omake...?
Heyy everyone! I'm Hoshi!GO FUCK YOURSELF. OH, EXCUSE ME. GO EFF YOURSELF.
Hi, I'm Mikuru. We're both the writers for this story. I hope you enjoy this omake we made.I WON'T, AND YOU KNOW IT.
In other words, we ran out of ideas for our next chapter so we decided to let the creativity go loose for this one! Please enjoy the completely non-related story within our story: CHAPTER SIX AND A HALF!I'M SURE IT WILL ESPECIALLY SHIT TASTIC.
"Karin, the girls bath is over here!" Mimi said.WELP. I CAN SEE WHERE THIS IS HEADED.
"Oh, my bad. Whoops!" After all the rest of the girls went in, Karin snuck into the boys hot springs, we're Sasuke was. All the other boys were inside.WHAT A SURPRISE.
"Hello Sasuke-kun, do you want me to massage your back?" KarinWHO said seductively while trying to make some 'cleavage' when she didn't have any, just like Sakura.
"Hell no, bitch." Sasuke closed his eyes and sank deeper into the water.
"KAARINN! The girl's bath is on the other side! You're in the boys bath again! Oh, and do try to make cleavage if you don't have any. Boys don't like to look at flat chests." Mimi smiled and made a sexy pose. Sasuke nosebleed. Mimi pwns Karin.REALLY, I THINK THAT'S ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THIS, UH, OMAKE.
SO, LET ME SUM THIS SHIT UP FOR YOU, SO WE CAN GET BACK TO THE, UH, STORY. MORE CHIBIS HAPPENED. THEY FOUGHT OVER SPOONS, I GUESS. THE FOURTH WALL HAS SHATTERED, AND THE GIRL IS FINE WITH HER MATESPRIT BEING LOCKED IN A BOX OF TORMENT, OR SOMETHING. SOME GIRL WATCHED THE BOYS. THE FEMALES STARTED ARGUING ABOUT THE ATTRACTIVENESS AND EMONESS OF THE MALES, AND THEN SOAP. THE BOYS SAY THEY ARE GOING TO LEAVE, BUT, IN FACT, THE LEAVING RUSE WAS A
WAIT FOR IT
DISTACTION!
THEN THE FEMALES, EXPECTEDLY, START TALKING ABOUT POTENTIAL MATES. THEN, MORE SPOONS. THE FEMALES THAN BROKE THE WALL. I CAN ONLY ASSUME SOME DISGUSTING HUMAN THINGS HAPPENED, CONSIDERING HOW THIS STORY GOES. THAT, OR THEY BEAT HIM UP. I DON'T REALLY CARE. BACK TO THE MAIN STORY... I SUPPOSE.
The Final Chapter
"OMFG PLEEEASE STOP! I DIDN'T MEAN TO I'M SORRY!" Shikamaru yelled.I LIKE HOW THE ABBREVIATIONS MAKE THE STORY MORE BELIEVEABLE.
"SORRY. DOESN'T . BRING. HIDA-NII. BAACKK!" Mimi whipped him again with a spiked whip.
"AAAAGHHHHH!" Shikamaru was on the brink of tears.WASN'T HE IN A BOX.
"QUIT YOUR DAMN CRYING AND TAKE IT LIKE A REAL MAN YOU SON OF A B***H!"THIS SENTENCE WILL STICK WITH ME FOREVER.
"WAIT WAIT WAIT, I DIDN'T REALLY KILL HIM!" Shikamaru said quickly before wincing, prepared for the next whip lash. But it didn't come.
"You said what now?" Mimi questioned. "Did he just say Hidan isn't dead?" Mimi thought.
"YEAH, WE BURIED HIM UNDER A TON OF ROCKS FAR AWAYJUSTPLEASEDON'THURTME AAAAA!" Shikamaru cried.THANKS FOR BEING SPECIFIC, THERE, BUDDY.
"Suuki –nee, we're leaving. NOW." Mimi motioned to Suuki, who was watching the entire time.
"Okay, where?" Suuki asked. There was a pause.
"TELL ME WHERE YOU BURIED HIDA-NII NOW!" Mimi yelled.
"In the Mist Village!" Shikamaru winced again.
"Okay then. Suuki! We are going to the Hidden Mist Village!" Mimi declared. Then the two headed out of the Akatsuki basement.I'M GLAD THAT WAS RESOLVED.
Leader-sama or Anyone Else Reading This-
Mimi and I are going to the Hidden Mist Village to get Hidan back. He's still alive actually, so we are going to find him. Hopefully we don't die, wish us luck!
-Suuki
P.S,
If you go into the basement and see a guy locked in a box, don't forget to give him a shot glass full of water once a day. NOTHING ELSE. And don't let him out. Oh yeah, if one of you smokes, then wave some cigarettes or something infront of him. He's Mimi's torture prisoner. Thanks!
Then Mimi and Suuki headed out the door. Suuki was wincing with every step.
THAT WAS A GOOD STORY. IT'S OVER NOW.
A STORY, MOCKED; SANITY, LOST.
FUCK YOU GAMZEE.
Mimi and Suuki, by arisa33
Chapter 1
There was a small knock at the door. The old man opened it up to find a girl of about 18 kneeling on his doorstep.WOW THIS IS A REALLY FUCKING GREAT PLOT, I AM ALL FOR THIS.
"Please, can you spare some food" said the girl "only a little will do"
"fine, fine" said the man "but only a little because I can barely feed my family.
Letting the girl in was his first fault.
Suuki Stood up and walked inside. Her skin was pale, slightly blueWHAT THE FUCK, but mostly a crème color. She wore a white kimono which was tied at the waist with a loose blue bow. She had long light blue green hair that went down to her hips, and tends to wear a lot of fishnet.I'M STARTING TO SEE A TREND WITH THIS FISHNET SHIT.
When the old man turned his back on her she struck, biting his neck and slashing his throat. The blood splashed across Suuki's face, making her smile (just a bit) and she shoved the spiked heel of her shoe into the corpse.WOAH, SHIT, THIS SUDDENLY GOT FUCKING AWESOME.
"Mimi!" Suuki called.
A petite girl walked to Suuki. She had blond hair pulled into a low ponytail. Mimi wore black leggings that stretched to her knees. She also had a shirt that said "POCKY" and showed A LOT of cleavageOH GOD DAMMIT., similar to Suuki's, except Suuki had fishnet over hers.
Mimi also had a two-sizes-too big black sweatshirt. Her ninja headband was not there, just like Suuki. Mimi lost hers (and didn't care, she was a freakin' mortal goddessWOAH, WHAT, and didn't need a freaking headband. Suuki never got one in the first place.
*Suuki in chibi form off to the side* DAMN U HIDDEN MIST!)AND NOW, I HATE THIS STORY AGAIN.
Anyways, Mimi jumped into the house to rummage around the kitchen. When Mimi returned, she had one onigiri. "DAMNED CHEAPSKATE!" she pouted and ate the onigiri.SHOULDN'T THERE BE A FAMILY SOMEWHERE IN HERE, COWERING?
"Okay Mimi, you've gotten one mochi, two dango, and that. We have only one more house to go to, so hope for the best from this house." Suuki said.THIS BETTER MEAN MORE VIOLENCE, I SWEAR TO GOG.
"Dammit.." Mimi grumbled. The two girls walked out the door and headed to the next house.
The Akatsuki we're eating their daily dinner: burnt peanut butter.ALRIGHT. WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING.
"THIS F*****G SUCKS! I WANT F*****G REAL FOOD FOR ONCE DAMMIT!" Hidan yelled as he slammed his fist onto the table.HOW DO YOU PRONOUNCE *? DO YOU JUST SAY STAR?
"I did the best I could do Hidan. It's not like you can do any better. My burnt peanut butter was a whole lot better than your berry ashes." Itachi said calmly while applying his black nail polish to his toenails.OH JEGUS, MORE EMO SHIT? NOT AGAIN.
"WHY YOU LITTLE—" Hidan tackled Itachi to the ground. Kakazu, Kisame, Sasori, Deidara, Zetsu and Tobi got up and stared at the two fighting.
"Don't you think we should stop them?" Kakazu asked.
"No, let 'em fight." Kisame said, slightly interested in the epic chibi battle.WHAT THE FUCK IS A CHIBI?
Chapter 2
A knock at the door stopped the fight.
"Who the hell is that?" Hidan asked, annoyed by the pause of chibi bloodshed.LISTEN, I'M ALL FOR BLOODSHED AND GORE, BUT WHAT THE HELL IS A CHIBI?
"Hidan, just answer the damned door." Kakazu said. Hidan went down the long hallway, cursing all the way. When he opened the door, he saw Suuki (but he doesn't know her now).OK.
"Please sir, can you spare us-"
"HELL NO BITCH!" Hidan slammed the door in her face.AT LEAST THERE'S A SANE CHARACTER, HERE.
Outside, Suuki was twitching with anger. For the first time, she had been cheated out of her blood.
"He did NOT just call me a bitch and slam that door! HE DID NOT JUST DO THAT!"OH, BUT I THINK HE DID, BITCH
"Uh-oh…." Mimi slinked behind Suuki.
As Hidan was walking back to the table, Suuki smashed the door down. Hidan could practically SEE the bloodlust in her eyes.
"GIMME YOUR BLOOD GOD DAMMIT OR SO HELP ME I'M GOING TO RIP YOU TO F*****G PIECES!YOU WEREN'T GOING TO DO THAT ALREADY?" She screamed. Suuki summoned black roses from the ground and twisted them around Hidan's ankles. She began to pull him towards her.
The rest of the Akatsuki were at the table once again when they heard the crash. When they reached the front hall, what they saw was really funny:
A strange girl controlling black roses was pulling Hidan by the ankles screaming "GIMME YOUR BLOOD ALREADYY!" while Hidan was clawing the ground screaming "GET AWAY FROM ME YOU F****N' BITCH! HOLY F****N' SHIT JASHIN-SAMA HELP ME!"HOW COME YOU'RE TOTALLY FINE TYPING BITCH AND SHIT, BUT FUCK IS CENSORED? WE KNOW WHAT YOU'RE FUCKING SAYING, AND HELL, IF YOU'RE GONNA USE SHIT, BITCH, AND WHATEVER THE HELL ELSE THERE IS, I DON'T GET WHY YOU'RE ADVERSE TO USING FUCK. and a small girl cowering behind the other one saying "ONEECHAN! YAMERO (stop)! Someone's going to hear us!" the petite girl took one look at the crowd they had created and said "Oh effin' shit."GOGDAMNIT, AGAIN?
The three fighting stopped at the same time and staring at them chibi style. Snickering was heard throughout the group. "What's so funny?" Mimi said, obviously insecure about this whole mess.A BLOODTHIRSTY KILLER IS INSECURE ABOUT A CROWD. I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
"What's going on?" A tall red head man with a ton of piercings walked into the room, followed by a woman with blue hair in a messy bun, who had one piercing below her lips. The man had on a tee shirt that said "I Hate Mondays… Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays" on it, rubber duckie pajama pants, and pink fuzzy bunny slippers on.WHAT Without the disturbingly cute clothing, this guy was effin' damn sexy...WHAT. The woman had on a black tank top with the words "I WILL CUT YOU" on it and origami pajama pants.
"GOMENASAI GOMENASAI GOMENASAI! Gomen, but oneechan can be a little crazy on full moons." Mimi sheepishly replied. In the background, Suuki yelled "I DO NOT!"WHAT THE HELL IS EVEN HAPPENING NOW, I JUST GOT REALLY FUCKING LOST.
"Well who the hell are you anyways?" The man asked.
"I-I'm Mimi Hara. I'm kind of a mortal goddess. I control earth." She blushed with embarrassment from the attention. Then she ran behind Suuki for cover. Suuki stood with her arms crossed, which made her cleavage even biggerOH GOG, WHAT (which most would think isn't humanely possible) and probably gave every boy there a mega nosebleed.WHY WOULD THAT EVEN HAPPEN? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THIS STORY
"I'm Suuki. So far I'm JUST Suuki. Nothing else, got it? I control black roses."
"That's it?" he said. (Okay, this is hard to say 'he' all the time so his name is Pein or Leader-sama. The woman is Konan)ARE... ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS? YOU GOT TIRED OF WRITING A TWO GOGDAMNED LETTER WORD?
"All I'm going to tell you." She challenged. Pein was taken aback by her statement . NO ONE challenged him. EVER.OH MAN, YOUR POINT GETS ACROSS MUCH BETTER WHEN YOU CAPITALIZE CERTAIN WORDS, I DEFINITELY SEE NOW, THAT HE IS NOT A MAN TO BE MESSED WITH.
"I hope you realize I can kill you." He said.
"I hope YOU realize I can f*****g destroy your punk ass and send it down to effin' hell. And I will give it to Jashin-samaWAIT, WHO? so he can burn it will Hell's effin' fire!" Suuki yelled.THE NEXT TIME I SEE THE WORD EFFIN, I AM GOING TO BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF THE NEAREST THING
"I'm sooo sorry! Suuki's low on blood intake and is kinda on edge right now. She doesn't mean anything she says right now. I'm soo sorry!" Mimi stepped in while bowing a ton to Pein.
He smirked. "These girls have power, attitude, and obviously know how to disguise and infiltrate. These girls may be of good use." He thought.
"Want to join the Akatsuki?" Pein offered.
"You say what now?" Mimi asked.OBVIOUSLY THE BEST CHOICE OF WORDS.
"Hell yeah." Suuki said. She and Pei n bowed to each other and closed the deal.AND THEN, EVERYONE DIED, THE FUCKING END.
Chapter 3EXCEPT FOR, SADLY, THAT WASN'T THE CASE.
Suuki and Mimi joined the Akatsuki last chapter.OH, THANK YOU FOR THE RECAP, I HAD FORGOTTEN WHAT HAPPENED OVER THE LAST TWO SECONDS. I forgot to add what they look like so here it is: Mimi made a black shirt with a red cloud pattern and Suuki has an Akatsuki kimono. They both got sent on a mission to infiltrate Konoha by becoming ninja there. In this, the Rookie 9 always plays truth or dare. Suuki and Mimi had to go. Enjoy!IF IT WASN'T IMPORTANT ENOUGH TO ACTUALLY BE WRITTEN, THEN WHY EVEN HAVE IT IN THE FUCKING STORY?
"Naruto truth or dare?" Sakura said.
"Dare!" Naruto yelled.
"Okay, I dare you to take off Mimi and Suuki-chan's giant cloaks. I mean, you can only see their heads!"
When Naruto took off their cloaksAND THEY JUST STOOD THERE AND LET HIM?, all the boys had mega nosebleeds. (Oh yeah, Temari, Kankuro, and Gaara are there too)OH, OK.
"S-Suuki-chan? M- M-Mimi-chan? How-" Sakura was stunned. Inner Sakura (HOW THE EFFIN' HELL DID THOSE TWO GET SUCH HUGE BOOBS AND GREAT FIGURES? I DESERVE A BODY LIKE THAT! CHA!)MOTHERFUCKING NUBSUCKER, AGAIN?
"Okay, Gaara, truth or dare?" Naruto said.
"Truth." Gaara said in a monotone voice.
"Do you like any of the girls in this circle?" Naruto asked as a big smile went across his face. Gaara was blushing like crazy. He glanced at Mimi for half a second, and dropped his gaze down to the ground.I THINK THAT WAS A NO.
"…Y-Yes…" Everyone was in complete shock. Gaara NEVER had feelings. EVER!WOW, I NEVER EXPECTED ANYONE IN THIS STORY TO BE OUT OF CHARACTER! WHAT A FUCKING SURPRISE!
"Sasuke, truth or dare?" Gaara asked.
"Hmph, dare." Sasuke smirked. (Just so you know, everyone thinks Sasuke likes Hinata, mostly because she gets a ton of suitors cuz she's technically royalty.)WHO
"I dare you to kiss the girl you love." Gaara smirked as Sasuke's face fell. Sasuke walked over to Mimi and kissed her.OH GOD, GAMZEE, I AM GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU AFTER THIS. Mimi blinked, and wiped the Sasuke-the-perv germs off her mouth, and kicked him right in the one place so many fangirls fantasize about seeingOH, JEGUS.. Sasuke fell to the ground and everyone burst out laughing. Once everyone calmed down, they continued the game.
"Suuki, truth or dare?" Sasuke asked, wincing with pain every time he moved.
"Dare me." Suuki said as she crossed her arms.
"I dare you to strip down to your underwear and make a sexy pose." Sasuke said, smirking.EXCUSE ME, I HAVE SOME THROWING UP TO DO.
"WTF YOU PERVERT!" Suuki yelled.SO, DID YOU SAY WTF OR JUST WHAT THE EFF. I HONESTLY CAN'T TELL.
"No, Oneechan, don't do it!" Mimi said.
"Okay then, I dare you to do it too. And if you don't, you'll both have to ding dong ditch the Akatsuki." Sasuke said.WOW, THAT SOUNDS LIKE THE KIND OF WACKY SHENANIGANS I CAN GET BEHIND
"But we're in-" Mimi was cut off by Suuki smacking her upside the head.
"Ow! Oneechan, that hurt!" Mimi said as she rubbed her head.
"Okay, FINE Sasuke. We'll do it! I hope you're happy." Suuki said the last part sarcastically.OH, MAN, I THINK THIS SASUKE HUMAN NEEDS SOME ICE FOR THOSE HOT, HOT BURNS.
Mimi and Suuki stripped down to their underwear, which was lingerie (courtesy of Hidan followed by a ton of pain in his lower area, courtesy of both Suuki and Mimi.) and when they did their sexy model pose, every boy there had such a big nosebleed they were twitching, on the ground chibi style (yay 4 chibi!)GAMZEE. FUCK. YOU.
"Alright everyone! We're going to stop playing truth or dare and after Mimi and Suuki put their clothes back on then we're going to play 7 minutes in heaven! Got it?" Ino said. She was SUPER jealous of the new kounichis and wanted to make out with Sasuke in a closet.OH, JEGUS, JUST... JUST STOP Once that was achieved, then that would be one more thing to cross of her list of things to do before she turns 20.
All the boys put something in a bag. Then Sakura went first. She pulled out a ramen coupon for Ichiraku's.
"NOOO NOT NARUTO! KAMI HAVE MERCY ON ME PLEASE!"WHO Sakura cried chibi style. Naruto happily dragged Sakura into the closet. Seven minutes later, they came out dating.BECAUSE, SHIT, LET'S STOP MAKING SENSE
Ino pulled out a bag of potato chips. Her face fell.
"NOOOOO! HELP ME PLEASE! ANYONE BUT CHOJI PLEASE!" Ino was dragged into the closet with Choji. Seven minutes later, they came out hating each other. Too bad they're teammates.MAN THIS SURE IS FUN AND EXCITING
Hinata walked up to the bag timidly and picked out a small bag of sand gingerly.
"O-Oh, I g-guess I g-got G-G-Gaara-kun…" She timidly walked into the closet and Gaara followed. Seven minutes later, Gaara and Hinata were dating, Hinata had a strange boost of confidence, and Gaara seemed a bit nicer.I THINK I'M STARTING TO SEE A TREND HERE.
TenTen went to the bag and picked out a feather.
"WTF Neji, why a feather?" TenTen sighed.
"How'd you know it was me?" Neji asked.
"Because Neji, you always drone on and on about being a stupid caged bird and a slave to the main branch and shit.WELL, THEN SHOULDN'T IT BE FUCKING OBVIOUS?" TenTen dragged Neji into the closet of doom. Seven minutes later, TenTen was Neji's finacee (they we're already dating).WHAT
Temari strode up to the stupid bag and picked out a chess piece. She already knew who it was and went into the closet with her boyfriend, Shikamaru. Seven minutes later, both lost their virginity.WHAT (lol)
Mimi walked up to the accursed bag and picked out black eyeliner for emos'.
"You've got to be effin' SHITTING me. JASHIN HAVE MERCY!" Mimi was dragged in by Sasuke.
In the closet
"Okay, so how are we gonna do this?" Sasuke asked.
"WHAT?" Mimi cried.
"How are we going to do "it". C'mon, you know what I mean." He smirked.OH, DEAR JEGUS.
"Fine Sasu-kun." Mimi said seductively. At that moment Mimi pressed a pressure point in Sasuke's neck and he fell to the ground. Mimi laughed evilly with a glint in her eyes. It was a long six minutes of intense pain for Sasuke. When they came out, Mimi had a big victorious grin on her face, and Sasuke was in a heap of sizzling pain and crying in chibi style.YOU COULDN'T HAVE KILLED HIM?
Suuki was last. She picked out a dog collar.
"Umm.. Okay? Who the hell is this?" Suuki said, tilting her head to one side (she does that when she's confused.)
"If you don't know who it is, then we put you in and then we'll put him in the closet. Oh, and you stay in double since you didn't know."BECAUSE THAT MAKES SENSE. Sakura smiled a wicked grin. She shoved Suuki in the closet. Outside, Suuki heard Mimi saying "Oh please Jashin-sama have mercy on Suuki-neechan please."
Suuki had one thing going through her mind at that moment: OH SHIT.THIS IS THE THOUGHT I HAD IN MY HEAD WHEN I SAW GAMZEE HAD SUGGESTED A STORY.
The door opened and Sakura shoved a hazy figure in. He landed on top of her, and their lips met. Suuki was wide-eyed with shock. She broke the accidental kiss to say "Who the hell are you?"AND THUS, LOVE IS KINDLED.
"I'm Kiba. And you must be Suuki?" He said.
"You smell like a dog." Suuki noticed.
"You smell like a pack of wolves." He said playfully.
"Touche." And they ended up kissing again....I WASN'T ACTUALLY RIGHT, WAS I?
That night Kiba escorted Suuki home while Mimi walked near them, but far enough away for their privacy.
"Konbonwa (good night) Kiba-kun!" Suuki smiled.OH GOG, WHY?
"Until next time, Suuki-chan!" Kiba laughed. Mimi and Suuki headed into their apartment.
"Neechan, do you like that Konoha ninja?" Mimi asked, a little worried.
"Mimi, it's fine. Sure, he's really nice, but we're Akatsuki. We kill them. It will suck to destroy them, but oh well. It's the price we pay!" Suuki smiled down at her little 'sister'.SO, THERE'S GOING TO BE MORE KILLING?
Chapter 4
In the morning, Mimi woke up first. When she opened her eyes and sat up, she was face-to-face with Sasori, her Akatsuki roommate.BECAUSE EVERYONE LIKES THE CREEPY FUCK.
"HOLY SHIT WTF SASORI WHAT THE EFFIN' HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE YOU FRICKEN' SCARED ME TO EFFIN' DEATH!" Mimi screamed. Sasori only laughed a bit.I THINK HE'S LAUGHING AT HER ATTEMPT TO CENSORE HERSELF.
"I was told to come here to make sure you and Suuki don't get too close to any of the Konoha ninjas. That's all." Sasori said in a calm voice.SO I AM GUESSING THIS GUY DIDN'T READ THE LAST CHAPTER.
Mimi got nervous ."Yeah none of that's happening here, yeah, you can go back to Leader-sama now and tell him… Yeah…"YEAH, THAT WAS A REALLY GREAT ATTEMPT AT LYING, YEAH.
"Are you sure? I sense you're lying. You know Mimi, if you or Suuki get too close to any Konoha ninja, your lives could be on the line. When we attack them, there can be no second thoughts on attacking anyone. We are Akatsuki, and Akatsuki are not weak. Love or friendship outside of our group can lead to bad things." Sasori said.AND SO EVERYONE DIED THE END.
"J-JUST GET THE EFFIN' HELL OUTTA MY FACE! Ugh, I gotta make breakfast." She punched Sasori in the nose and got out of bed. By the time Suuki woke up, Sasori had gone back to the Akatsuki and breakfast was ready.HOW CONVENIENT.
"Mimi, you didn't need to make breakfast. You know you could've woken me up and-"
"Suuki-neechan, I think it's dangerous that you and Kiba are close." Mimi said.
"Mimi, we're only friends." Suuki tried to laugh lightly but ended up becoming silent.
"Neechan, friends don't make out. We all know that."REALLY FRIENDLY FRIENDS DO. Mimi sat down across from Suuki and foled her arms, making her cleavage bigger.AGAIN? Suddenly, a pigeon had a nosebleed and died from it outside their window.WELP. Mimi told Suuki what Sasori had told her previously that morning. Suuki sat and thought for a bit.
"Okay. I understand. We'll leave tonight. Just to make sure we don't let anything more happen." The eating part to breakfast was a quiet and rest of the day was very quiet and sad for Suuki. She avoided all possible eye contact and didn't speak a word. When she came back to the apartment, Mimi was there with the packs.PACKS OF WHAT?
"Ready to go home neechan?" Mimi asked.
"Yeah." Suuki smiled. "Home."
And with that, she and Mimi jumped out the window and headed to their one place they were accepted: The Akatsuki.WELL IT SEEMS LIKE THOSE OTHER NOW POINTLESS CHARACTERS ACCEPTED YOU JUST FINE, BUT THAT WAS PROBABLY JUST ME.
Chapter 5
"Leader-sama we're back!" Mimi yelled down the hall happily. Mimi skipped down the halls looking for Hidan. Suuki looked around. She was actually happy that she was home and completely forgot about Kiba and Konoha. She liked it at the Akatsuki. When she went to her room, Suuki's roommate Deidara just so happened to be walking out of the bathroom with only a towel on.JEGUS CHRIST. REALLY?
"OH SHIT, SORRY!" Suuki covered her eyes and Deidara had a wtf face.
"HOLY CRAP I THOUGHT YOU'D BE BACK IN A MONTH! NOT TWO EFFIN' DAYS!" Deidara said.THAT DOESN'T EXCUSE YOUR LACK OF CLOTHING.
"Yeah, well I'm back early. Surprise surprise." Suuki said.
"You seem upset to be back at the Akatsuki. I'm getting the feeling you don't like us or here very much." Deidara said.YOU'RE VERY ASTUTE, YOU KNOW THAT?
"No, no it's not that. I'm just not used to living in one spot. I like it, but I need to get used to it. Plus, I need to get some stuff tonight." Suuki looked out the small window on the top part of the wall to avoid Deidara's eyes.
"What stuff?" Deidara catiously pried for answers.
"Okay, so you know how I can summon black roses?" Suuki said.
"Yeah?"OH SHIT, WAIT FOR THIS. WAIT FOR IT... WAIT...
"Well, that's not all. I'm a tailed beast. The ten tails, to be exact.WOW THAT IS REALLY UNEXPECTED WOAH DAMN. I'm still not known because everyone only thinks there's nine. But there are ten tailed beasts. I'm the ten tailed wolf. The demon of the hunt. It's in my nature to be on the move and want blood. I need to feed off blood to live through the days.SO WHY ISN'T THERE MORE FUCKING GORE IN THIS. Mimi knows, and she understands that I need the blood of ten people to quench my thirst, whereas on other days I need five." Suuki confessed.WELL, THAT DOESN'T MAKE MUCH SENSE.
Deidara stared in shock. The Akatsuki were known for hunting tailed beasts.WOAH SHIT, LOOKS LIKE THERE WILL BE SOME CONFLICT. But to have one in the Akatsuki itself? That was insanity, but at the same time pure genius.OH, NO, I GUESS NOT.
"Wow… Suuki, that's a lot… But I hope you know that we are always going to be there for you, and even if you're a tailed beast, we care a lot about you.BECAUSE, DON'T ALL GROUPS HELL BENT ON KILLING GIANT MONSTERS CARE FOR THEIR MEMBERS? And Mimi as well. In fact, I think Hidan and Sasori might actually have a crush on her.BECAUSE WHY NOT. " Deidara laughed a bit and then looked at Suuki. (Oh, and while Suuki was talking she was looking the other way while Deidara was changing so he's in clothes now.)
"You know Deidara-kun, you're an awesome teammate. Arigato!" And Suuki walked out of the room to go find Mimi and the rest of the Akatsuki.AND THEN EVERYONE DIED?
"Huh, Deidara-kun. I think I like that name."BECAUSE IT'S YOUR NAME, DUMBFUCK. Deidara thought out loud. He chuckled to himself and drifted off into a really long cat nap.
Chapter 6
HIIIIII! ^^ lol FISH....WHAT
Chapter six
"HIIIIDDDDAAAAAAAAANNN! WHERE ARE YOU HIDAN!" Mimi yelled down the halls happily. Then Mimi ran right into Pein.
"Leader-sama! Do you know where Hida-nii is?" Mimi asked hopefully.
"Ummm..." Pein was cruel, and definitely evil, but telling a little happy kidSHE'S EIGHTEEN. that their big brother/idol is dead is just plain upsetting. Pein couldn't do it.
"Uhhhhh… GO ASK KISAME BRBCYAL8RKKCYAAND, HOW DO YOU PRNOUNCE THAT? umm BYE!" Pein ran away at the speed of light.
Mimi ran down the hall to find Kisame cursing at Itachi who had just won his way out of washing the dishes from go fish.WHICH IS MUCH MORE PRODUCTIVE THAN KILLING PEOPLE.
"Kisa-nii! Ita-baachan! (Itachi twitches and puts on more anti-aging cream) Where's Hidan?" Mimi asked.WHO THE FUCK MADE THESE NAMES UP?
"He's d-" Itachi was cut off by Kisame.
"He might be with Deidara-sempai!" Kisame laughed nervously.
"Kisa-nii, you're not telling me something. WHERE. IS. HIDA-NII!" Mimi was getting a little pissed off.OH MAN, BETTER LISTEN TO HER. SHE'S ANGRY. APPARENTLY.
"Umm… Sorry, Mimi-chan, but Hidan is…" Kisame didn't really want to finish the sentence.
"Dead." Itachi finished. If anyone can do the job of screwing things like this up better then Itachi, then the world would be sucked inside out.WHAT
"W-w-what?" Mimi started sniffling. Then she remembered the one word 'strong'.
"WHAT?" Mimi punched Itachi so hard he flew into Konoha. LITERALLY.WHAT. I JUST... WHAT?
Mimi stormed off to find out who had killed her beloved Jashin BFFLBIFFLE?, cursing all the way. That night she and Suuki stormed into Konoha with the Akatsuki cloaks on and ready to fight. (Suuki wanted to see Mimi kick some serious ass and help a bit for extra measure.)AND THEN EVERYONE DIED?
The first thing Mimi and Suuki did was blow up a few buildings to make their presence known. In Suuki's head, she heard Pein say:
"Suuki, tell Mimi you and her can't go in there alone. You'll be destroyed."AS LONG AS SOMEONE DIES, I'LL BE SLIGHTLY APPEASED.
"Mimi's on a rampage, you can't stop her until she achieves her imaginary mission. That's all there is to it. I just came for back up. Oh, and MIMI? DESTROYED? That's real funny. DID YOU SEE HOW FAR SHE PUNCHED ITACHI-BAACHAN? I doubt she'll even get a scratch. We'll be fine."ALSO THEY'RE BOTH FUCKING DEITIES. I THINK THEY'RE FINE.
"Well, have a good bloodshed for us Akatsuki, will you? Oh, and it would be great if you could capture a guy there. He's loud, obnoxious, and talks too much. You'll know him when you see him."WOW, WAY TO BE STRICT THERE, PAL
Suuki went to catch up with Mimi. She was already fighting some jonins. Well, Mimi was really just killing them by shoving them into the ground and pounding them with giant balls of earth.WOW, I'M GLAD THIS IS SO DESCRIPTIVE. Suuki got jumped out of nowhere by a few jonins. Suuki looked up. "Full moon already? Well, this will be better then I planned." Suuki thought.
With a sudden and quick hand movements, Suuki yelled:
"WATER STYLE: 10,000 TSUNAMIS JUTSU!"WOAH, WHAT The giant wave crashed onto the jonins. The water drained a ton of their chakra and put them on the ground, flailing like a fish out of water. More hand movements:
"LIGHTNING STYLE: THUNDERBIRD JUSTSU!" A point of lightning started at Suuki's fingertips and shot every single water drenched ninja. And we all know that water + lightning + human= epic electrocution and death.OH, OK. NOW I KNOW.
Meanwhile, Mimi was taking down ninja in large numbers.
"WHO. KILLED. HIDAN-NII? TELL. ME. NOW!" Mimi screamed.
"S-Shikamaru N-N-Nara did m-miss." One ninja said. Smash.AND THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS. BECAUSE OF SELL OUTS.
"WHERE IS HE?"
"At, at his house of c-course." Another ninja said. Crush.SO, WHERE ARE THE DESCRIPTIONS OF FOUNTAINS OF BLOOD SPOUTING FROM UNDERNEATH THE ROCK, AS THE VERY LAST BREATH IS SQUEEZED OUT OF THE PITIFUL HUMANS.
"I KNOW THAT YOU GROUP OF IDIOTIC PIGS! TELL ME WHERE HIS HOUSE IS, FOR THE LOVE OF JASHIN!"WHO
Suddenly, Naruto jumped in front of Mimi and yelled:
"RASENGAN!" It was about to reach Mimi, but someone darted in the way: Suuki. She was bent over for a bit, but slowly got to stand upright with a creepy smile on her face. She started to giggle.SHIT IS ABOUT TO GET REAL. OK, NO IT ISN'T.
"You're funny Naruto. You think I'll let you kill my little sister? That's never going to happen. The best part is that you cannot kill me either. I am invincible. Get over it." The giant swirl where the Rasengan hit went back to normal.
"WHO ARE YOU, HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME, AND WHERE ARE YOU FROM, TELL ME!" Naruto screamed. Well, talked actually, but we ALL know he practically yells when talking.YOU KNOW YOU TOOK THEIR CLOTHES OFF EARLIER, RIGHT?
"Do we really have to answer him Neechan? He's weird. I don't like him. I got Shikamaru and we can go home now." Mimi said as her back-to-normal self.
"Okay, we'll go home little sister. This dense headed boy doesn't recognize us. What a shame. Let's go, I'm getting thirsty." The black started to show up in her hair as Suuki's eyes were also turning red.
I AM WONDERING WHAT HAPPENS NEXT. NO I'M NOT. I'M ACTUALLY CURSING GAMZEE UNDER MY BREATH.
Omake...?
Heyy everyone! I'm Hoshi!GO FUCK YOURSELF. OH, EXCUSE ME. GO EFF YOURSELF.
Hi, I'm Mikuru. We're both the writers for this story. I hope you enjoy this omake we made.I WON'T, AND YOU KNOW IT.
In other words, we ran out of ideas for our next chapter so we decided to let the creativity go loose for this one! Please enjoy the completely non-related story within our story: CHAPTER SIX AND A HALF!I'M SURE IT WILL ESPECIALLY SHIT TASTIC.
"Karin, the girls bath is over here!" Mimi said.WELP. I CAN SEE WHERE THIS IS HEADED.
"Oh, my bad. Whoops!" After all the rest of the girls went in, Karin snuck into the boys hot springs, we're Sasuke was. All the other boys were inside.WHAT A SURPRISE.
"Hello Sasuke-kun, do you want me to massage your back?" KarinWHO said seductively while trying to make some 'cleavage' when she didn't have any, just like Sakura.
"Hell no, bitch." Sasuke closed his eyes and sank deeper into the water.
"KAARINN! The girl's bath is on the other side! You're in the boys bath again! Oh, and do try to make cleavage if you don't have any. Boys don't like to look at flat chests." Mimi smiled and made a sexy pose. Sasuke nosebleed. Mimi pwns Karin.REALLY, I THINK THAT'S ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THIS, UH, OMAKE.
SO, LET ME SUM THIS SHIT UP FOR YOU, SO WE CAN GET BACK TO THE, UH, STORY. MORE CHIBIS HAPPENED. THEY FOUGHT OVER SPOONS, I GUESS. THE FOURTH WALL HAS SHATTERED, AND THE GIRL IS FINE WITH HER MATESPRIT BEING LOCKED IN A BOX OF TORMENT, OR SOMETHING. SOME GIRL WATCHED THE BOYS. THE FEMALES STARTED ARGUING ABOUT THE ATTRACTIVENESS AND EMONESS OF THE MALES, AND THEN SOAP. THE BOYS SAY THEY ARE GOING TO LEAVE, BUT, IN FACT, THE LEAVING RUSE WAS A
WAIT FOR IT
DISTACTION!
THEN THE FEMALES, EXPECTEDLY, START TALKING ABOUT POTENTIAL MATES. THEN, MORE SPOONS. THE FEMALES THAN BROKE THE WALL. I CAN ONLY ASSUME SOME DISGUSTING HUMAN THINGS HAPPENED, CONSIDERING HOW THIS STORY GOES. THAT, OR THEY BEAT HIM UP. I DON'T REALLY CARE. BACK TO THE MAIN STORY... I SUPPOSE.
The Final Chapter
"OMFG PLEEEASE STOP! I DIDN'T MEAN TO I'M SORRY!" Shikamaru yelled.I LIKE HOW THE ABBREVIATIONS MAKE THE STORY MORE BELIEVEABLE.
"SORRY. DOESN'T . BRING. HIDA-NII. BAACKK!" Mimi whipped him again with a spiked whip.
"AAAAGHHHHH!" Shikamaru was on the brink of tears.WASN'T HE IN A BOX.
"QUIT YOUR DAMN CRYING AND TAKE IT LIKE A REAL MAN YOU SON OF A B***H!"THIS SENTENCE WILL STICK WITH ME FOREVER.
"WAIT WAIT WAIT, I DIDN'T REALLY KILL HIM!" Shikamaru said quickly before wincing, prepared for the next whip lash. But it didn't come.
"You said what now?" Mimi questioned. "Did he just say Hidan isn't dead?" Mimi thought.
"YEAH, WE BURIED HIM UNDER A TON OF ROCKS FAR AWAYJUSTPLEASEDON'THURTME AAAAA!" Shikamaru cried.THANKS FOR BEING SPECIFIC, THERE, BUDDY.
"Suuki –nee, we're leaving. NOW." Mimi motioned to Suuki, who was watching the entire time.
"Okay, where?" Suuki asked. There was a pause.
"TELL ME WHERE YOU BURIED HIDA-NII NOW!" Mimi yelled.
"In the Mist Village!" Shikamaru winced again.
"Okay then. Suuki! We are going to the Hidden Mist Village!" Mimi declared. Then the two headed out of the Akatsuki basement.I'M GLAD THAT WAS RESOLVED.
Leader-sama or Anyone Else Reading This-
Mimi and I are going to the Hidden Mist Village to get Hidan back. He's still alive actually, so we are going to find him. Hopefully we don't die, wish us luck!
-Suuki
P.S,
If you go into the basement and see a guy locked in a box, don't forget to give him a shot glass full of water once a day. NOTHING ELSE. And don't let him out. Oh yeah, if one of you smokes, then wave some cigarettes or something infront of him. He's Mimi's torture prisoner. Thanks!
Then Mimi and Suuki headed out the door. Suuki was wincing with every step.
THAT WAS A GOOD STORY. IT'S OVER NOW.
A STORY, MOCKED; SANITY, LOST.
FUCK YOU GAMZEE.