Post by carcinoGeneticist on Feb 12, 2011 18:56:42 GMT -5
WELL, REMEMBER THIS? YEAH, UNFORTUNATELY, IT'S BACK. AND I HAVE THE DUTY TO MAKE FUN OF SOME MORE SHIT. WHOOP-DE-FUCKING-DO. SO, WE'VE GOT A SHIT LOAD OF FICS FOR YOU, TODAY.
SERIES: POKEMON
TITLE: POKE ME!
AUTHOR: NINJAMAI
A bright Tuesday morning was welcomed by the Sinnoh Region. Hikari, age 15 twirled in front of the full length mirror. She smiled to herself happily at her new simple outfit. OH FUCK, IT'S ALREADY BORING.
A dark red mini-skirt, with tight black leggings. Her feet were covered with bright pink converse sneakers. The laces were bright white. She then looked at her new favorite shirt. It was a dry dark blue color, and was made of cotton. Printed on the front was a lazy-looking Munchlax. Below in purposely faded text read: Poke Me! DOES IT SAY POKE ME AS A PUN ON POKEMON, OR JUST BECAUSE IT'S FAT?
Hikari was thrilled when she scooped up the shirt at the mall. Just too darn cute to resist. WHY THE FUCK DO HUMANS HAVE A FASHION SENSE?
The school girl swung her backpack over her right shoulder and went to school.
During the day, almost everyone had come up and jabbed their finger into her stomach. Her best friends Leaf, Hakura and Kasumi shoved their finger into her stomach. While her other friends Shigeru, Shu and Satoshi made numerous pokes of fury. In the arm, in her neck and on her back...anywhere that would be irritating or painful! TORTURE IS FUN! She groaned. She was beginning to regret wearing this formally cute shirt. IT WASN'T CUTE, EVER.
She hadn't really expected to be touched though, since hardly anyone outside her group of friends paid much attention to her. But nooooOOOO, sir! Whoever passed her in the hall was just itching to stab a finger at her. She was sure she'd be a freak with miniature circular bruises dotting her skin by the end of the day. SO YOU'RE LIKE EQUIUS' LUSUS
"I don't even have a jacket to cover up the words," she whined. NOBODY WAS TALKING TO YOU SO SHUT THE FUCK UP.
It was lunch hour, and she continued to endure the poking epidemic.
Just as she turned left to enter the buzzing cafeteria, she felt the blood rush to her cheeks. A dark looming figure dressed in bland, almost colorless clothes loomed over her. His swirling black eyes penetrated her own azure blue ones. Shinji! Her heart raced. She hated to admit it, but she had had quite a little crush on him for some time. Even when dating other boys, her eyes still wandered over the reserved purple haired male...FOR FUCKS SAKE, PICK ONE MATESPRIT AND STICK WITH HIM/HER
"Uh..." Hikari managed, "C-Can I go to lunch?"
He was standing in her way of the cafeteria doors. She tried to peek over his shoulder to see how long the line was. But he was just too tall. The boy didn't budge.SHINJI: MAKE HER PAY
"Shinji...I'm really hungry! Please let me through!" Hikari tried again. Instead, of saying some sort of reply or grunt, he simply pushed her against the wall and his lips attacked hers!OH GOD, NO, NOT THAT WAY, FUCK She tried to gasp, but his aggressive lips wouldn't allow that. His hands were clutching her wrists and she was pinned against the cold, painted bricks. Goosebumps covered her skin. His eyes were closed as this kissing continued. FUUUUUUUUCK
She couldn't register anything. Shinji's grasp on her wrists were firm, and his determination to make this kiss last was evident.I WOULD LIKE TO FIRMLY STAB THE AUTHOR IN THEIR EYES
His lips were too amazing to think of anything else! So warm and soft!FUCK, STOP GOING INTO DETAIL, NO ONE CARES Suddenly, whooting and hollering echoed her ears. There were whistles and claps. A small group of students had formed a curious circle. They watched, entertained with the epic scene before them. Shinji slowly retreated. An almost triumphant smirk slapped onto his face. Hikari took a second, trying to remember the language she spoke. I HOPE YOU HAVE A CONCUSSION
"Wh-what was that...!" Hikari sputtered, her lips tingling.
"Your shirt says, 'Poke Me!'," Shinji observed. His voice was smooth like the texture of his lips...UGH, FUCK ME.
"Yeah but...that was no poke!" the bluenette cried.
"I poked you with my lips," I HATE YOU.was the instantaneous reply. Her wrists were freed and he he turned away. Shinji merged into the crowd of onlookers and disappeared. The huddling students lingered a few seconds before they began to split up. The girls giggled and the guys laughed. No one cared to poke her though.
Her blush was still raw on her cheeks, but somehow a smile curved on her freshly kissed lips.
Huh...perhaps this shirt wasn't as annoying as it had turned out to be...YOU JUST RUINED THE INTERNET FOR EVERYONE.
OK, FUCK ALL THE OTHER FICS I HAVE, WE ONLY HAVE TWO MORE TO DO. I CAN SEE THIS WAS ALREADY A MISTAKE.
SERIES: MEGAMAN
TITLE: THE BITE OF THE SPIDER
AUTHOR: SILVER HORROR
Marino comes into the Headquarters in anger after failing to attempt to steal one of the treasures in the museum and she is in her bad mood.WELL, THIS ALREADY SETS THE TONE FOR THE STORY, DOESN'T IT. Everyone avoid her except for X, Axl, Cinnamon, Marino, Massimo and ZeroSO, EVERYONE IMPORTANT... AIT, SHE WAS AVOIDING HERSELF? who are the only ones who understand how she feels right now.
"Just a simple mission and I fail!" yelled Marino in angered walking around her room for 5 hours and 30 minutes,THANK YOU FOR BEING SPECIFIC "I cannot even get the mission right…, and some thief just comes in before me trying to ruin my fame…"
"Wow I never her like this before!"I NEVER WISH I HER THIS STORY said Zero in his mind while eating a grilled cheese sandwich. "Have anyone seen Spider?" said X wonder.X WONDER, DEFENDER OF THE GALAxY! "Well, the last time I saw him, I saw his expression with a smile on his face before coming into the room!"YOU SAW HIM BEFORE HE CAME? explain Massimo sitting next to Cinnamon, "He looks like he won in a gamble gameGAMBLE GAME?...FUCK IT, I DON'T CARE., but seems to strange carrying a huge bag…"
Cinnamon and Axl did not say a word at allGOOD while they were eating their breakfast until Chief R come into the room, everyone notice that he have a scar on the side on his face.PROBABLY THE ONLY SORT OF VIOLENCE IN THIS STORY "What just happen?" said Axl looking up. "Well, I try to calm Marino down, but end up getting the boot from her,"HER BOOT HAS SPIKES? said Chief R still feeling the pain, "Someone should have a peaceful conversation with her like a girl to girl conversation you know what I mean?"HURRY, GET THE KANAYA SIGNAL Everyone turn to Cinnamon and Graudile yelled in anger, "Oh no you don't, Cinnamon is not allow to talk to Marino as long as I am around!" LET'S NOT HAVE ANY EXPOSITION ON THIS WHAT SO EVER
"Why?" said Chief R disappointing. "Marino will give her bad influence into doing something that she is not suppose to do!" said Graudile while eat grilled cheese sandwich. One of the reploids yelled, "Hey that WAS MY SANDWICH PAL!" "I thought you were lactose!" said Axl apathetic. I SWEAR TO GOD, THIS PERSON ONLY HAS HALF A BRAIN Graudile ignore Axl by whistling out of the cafeteria and everyone did not say a word at all, but continue to eat their lunch.CAN WE JUST HAVE SILENCE FOR THE REST OF THE STORY?
Meanwhile in Marino's room, she sighed and she said staring at the newspaper, "I was the no. 1 thief in the world, but now I am in last place that would do something to beat my rank…"WHAT "Well, that would be me!" said Spider leaning on the side of the door, "Due this ability I get to avoid the guards easy, even thou I need a few cash in hand when I go to casino… I just want you feel…"WHAT
Marino throws a bear at her...OK and she said in angered feeling a little jealous, "SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!" Spider walks out of the room chuckle as she throwseverything BEARS. I FIXED IT FOR YOU. at him, but some did not hurt and Zero got in the middle. "WTF is she throwing her stuff at him!" said Zero in his mind as he sticks his head into the room, he got hit and he walk out of the room with a bra on his face.OH FOR FUCKS SAKE X said, "I do not think it is wise to see what is inside the drawer of Marino!"...ALRIGHT, OK, SURE.
Zero grumbled that night Marino got drink in her outskirt outfit and well they both she was working at the stripperOH FUCK, PLEASE DON'T GO THERE club. Cinnamon knows what Marino is about to do as he got out of the room late at night after everyone falling asleep. Marino sneaks out of the room without everyone knowing. Axl and Massimo remain in their room having a peaceful conversation. "Princess Peach is way better than Zelda!" said Massimo argued. "No, Zelda is better than Princess Peach even thou she doesn't really deserve to be in Brawl!" said Axl argued back.AT LEAST WE DON'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH STRIPPING
"Will you two shut up, Samus could kick both princesses in the ass!" yelled the Cranky Zero, they both remain silent and than Axl spoke out, "Since when you are into Super Smash Bros Brawl…" "Shut up Axl before I end shove the Z-saber up your!"I DON'T THINK AXL WOULD LIKE A SABER IN HIS SURPRISE NOODLE. said Zero threaten.
Massimo said, "Hey, hey you do not want X to come in the room doing his speech about again…" Zero did not say a word at all, but went back to sleep and Axl said, "You are a lifesaver, HOLY!"GRAMMAR IS ROLLING AROUND IN IT'S GRAVE Axl and Massimo saw Marino, Marino in her mind, "Shoot…" "Why are up wearing this?" said Axl in shock. "Yeah!" said Massimo blushing as well, they both have a nosebleed.I HATE THIS SHIT
Marino's POV
I been caught red handed by Axl and Massimo, this is not good at all. They both are staring at what I was wearing and I did not say a word, but spoke out, "uh got to go!" I quickly dash out of the HQ as soon as things get worstTHINGS GET WORSE? EXCELLENT., thank god for the air ship going work 24 hours. Besides my next target is the very rare jewel in one of the museums and I am going to beat Spider to if I have too.
Regular POV
As Marino went to Airship, she said staring outside, "Even why I am wearing this outfit!" She removes the outfit and revealing her wearing only the black outfit, she said, "That is much better!" YOU WERE WEARING IT BECAUSE THE AUTHOR THOUGHT IT'D BE FUNNY. IT WASN'T.
Spider's POV
It was in the casino area where I usually stay at, gamble under everyone's pockets are empty and even strip pokers. This is life where I usually am at after going through a mission in the casino and all the women love the SpiderTHE KARKAT ALSO LIKES TO REFER TO HIMSELF IN THIRD PERSON. Even thou she does not even know that have a mission to get the diamond before enemies will try to use it for evil.
I remember what Chief R trying to say after Marino taking anger on Zero because of bra on his headTHE KARKAT REMEMBERS THAT JOKE, AND HE IS DISGUSTED and he said, "Your assignment is something special, thieves trying to steal a very rare jewel to try using the jewel for evil due it contain powers inside." Why did he even send her on this mission instead of me for an unknown reason he does not trust Marino at all.
Well, I know she will sell it to get richer and everything, I am kind of enjoying myself as I steal other people's money. "Hello Spider!" said a familiar voice; I turn and saw Marino in this strange outskirt outfit. My dream have come turn she is in an outskirt nurse dress, well this is the first time seeing her like this.THE KARKAT DOES NOT UNDERSTAND! She slaps me on the side of the face all of the sudden and she said, "Try not to do that again Spiderman!" "Do not call me by that tights wearing hero!" I said angered, "I hate being called that, lady!"THE KARKAT IS CONFUSE "Well, well!" she said as she comes close to her and she give me a kiss on the lips.THE KARKAT.... OKAY FUCK THAT JOKE, THIS IS GETTING RETARDED It felt good, but end up being push down to ground by her and she left me as I hit the ground. "That is something!" I said in my mind, dizzy.
Marino's POV
Geez a simple kiss does the trick, but my main mission is to get that jewel why must they left me out all the time in every mission even thou Chief R do not even trust me at all. All of the sudden as I try to sneak out of the room to get the treasure some punk grab my from behind and he said as he hold me, "Well, well, what do you we have here?"I HATE MYSELF, I HATE THE AUTHOR, AND I HATE EVERYONE WHO READS THIS "The thief of the night!" said a huge reploid as he holds me close to him. I try to break free, but cannot because of his arms were too strong and the skinny reploid standing right in front of me.
He said staring at me chest, "What are we going to her?" "I do not know!" said the short reploid staring at me in a pervert, "Let's rape her."NO In my mind, "(Beep), (Beep), (Beep), (Beep), (BEEP)! Why must this end in the bad way?" I struggle to break free, but cannot until cards come out of nowhere hitting the trio on the head. "Hey do not mess with my woman when the Spider is around!"THE KARKAT ENJOYS THIRD PERSON! said Spider punching the huge one, I was finally free at last and they fall to ground. I saw all the girls praising Spider and that make me since even thou he save me from being rape.I LIKE IT WHEN GRAMMAR IS BRUTALLY BEATEN OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Spider grabs me by the hand and we went out of it, I give him a good slap on the face and I said, "Since when I am YOUR WOMAN!" "Well, I do not know why even thou you should have thank me instead of bitch slapping me!"YOU'LL SAY BITCH, BUT NOT ANYTHING ELSE? said Spider rubbing it where it hurts. "WELL, FIRST OF ALL!" I said in anger, but than he kiss me on the lips and he said, "even thou we got our differences, we are even!" I hide my feelings from him as he left and I got back up, I have to start on "Plan B" after the casino close, I manage to sneak back inside disguise as a guard that lead me into the treasure.FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK,STOP KISSING
Even thou I do not see Spider, but a bunch of sluts lying down on the floor unconscious after being drink and I know something is not right about the casino at all.GRAMMAR HATES YOU TOO A reploid struggles after drinking something from the casino before falling down on the floor meaning the Rebellion army already there. I felt someone touch me in the chest and I grab the chair, swing it and I heard a voice, "Wait where you're hitting?" It reveals to be Spider and I said in anger, "Stay away from me you pervert…"STAY AWAY FROM ME, EVEN THOUGH WE HAVE A VERY CLEAR KISMESSIS/MATESPRITSHIP GOING ON HERE.
"Why we are here for the same thing right?" said Spider taunting. Marino said apathetic, "Yes, so what!" "Well, well, look what we got here?" said a voice. The guards surrounding up and we both got expose after seeing a floating screen revealing to be Botos petting a feline. We both saying WTF after seeing Botos and I yell in anger, "Hey this isn't Austin Power or 007!"BECAUSE, SHIT, LET'S TOSS OUT MOVIE TITLES "I do not care, I love doing this way, right my sweet Mr. Bunny!" said Botos petting his cat, the cake replied a meow leaving me to twitching.
"Even thou I am the sexiest Austin Power in the game even thou you are jealous or not!" said Spider wooing the women and make a joke. WHAT I twitch continually and Botos got annoy, Botos said, "No matter!" He reaches into the button and gas comes out nowhere, we both curse and struggled.
Spider's POV
I wake up and all of the sudden we are tied up together on a pole, Marino is unconscious at the time and I was able to use my card to break free. I discover something is not right about this room as I heard something is ticking as I go near the wall, it starting to tick faster, I jump back and grab Marino. The bombHE SET YOU UP THE BOMB. OH GOD, I FEEL DIRTY AFTER SAYING THAT. starting to blow up the room, the only way to get out through the vent on the side of me, I did not want to leave Marino alone to die. I need to think another way to save the both of us and I am guessing Chief R will be mad if I am unsuccessful on the mission.I DON'T THINK IT'LL MATTER, BECAUSE YOU'LL BE DEAD.
I hope an opening above us and I quick put Marino on my back, climb on the pile to reach into the opening before things starting to get worst. I heard another bomb ticking as well and now things are about to be interesting as I jump on Blowfish to Blowfish, I notice after jumping off of BlowfishWHAT it starting to explode. I have to quick so I could so none of us will not get hurt, the last one nearly slip Marino from my back, I manage to grab her from the hand.SUSPENCE? WHAT IS THAT?
I quickly put her on my back again giving her a piggyback as I reach into the top, so what you think I will try to leave her there. No, I will not leave her there even thou we got our differences, but I remain mysterious love connection to her.THIS STORY COULD BE JUST A WHOLE BUNCH OF RANDOM WORDS, AND IT'D BE THE SAME About reaching into the top, I notice where they are using the crystal inside a cannon and Botos who is acting, as a Dr. Evil laughing someone is drunk.
I notice everyone I met in the casino being brainwash doing the work of the rebellion, I got out my communicator and contact Chief R. "What is it?" said Chief R yawning, "It is in the middle of the night, what it is?"I JUST CALLED TO SAY HI.
"We got ourselves a bad situation, we found the crystal, and the rebellion army used the place as a casino to brainwash the innocent!" I explain to him, "Marino is with me as well…" He gives a glare and he said, "What, Marino is with you why?" "Well, first of all I am only a bounty hunter and second of all I need a partner to be successful!" I said to him serious, "No matter what, I cannot do anything without a partner…"THIS PARAGRAPH IS THE JOKE. GET IT?
The Chief R shut off, I turn to see Marino who is fully awake and she said, "You really want to have a partner right!" "Yes, so what even thou you did not steal the item yet?" I said staring at her face to face. "Well, you got one!" said Marino smile revealing the crystal, "You take along time on the communicator and I manage to jewel, even thou you miss me fighting!"AND THIS PARAGRAPH IS CONFUSING. GET IT? BECAUSE I DON'T.
I notice Botos all beaten up on the ground twitching and blood come out of his nose, I turn to her seeing her wearing the same outfit and I almost nosebleed, but turn away. Marino said threaten, "Do not say anything to no one before send you to hell…"DO NOT TRY TO SPEAK IN A NORMAL FASHION
As we got back into the base, we are in for a surprised as we saw the faces of Zero, X, Axl, and Massimo face after Marino forgot to change back into her clothes. Zero have a nosebleed after seeing Marino and Axl blushes continuallyHEY! THIS IS FUNNY! HAHAHAHA! along with Massimo. X is about to say a word, but left the room and we ignore them as we went straight to Chief R.
Chief R has a nosebleed as well, as he holds his nose and tips his head back. Chief R said, "The mission did go well right…, I was wrong to underestimate Marino and that I am sorry…" "Its ok, its no big deal!" said Marino adjusting her outfit making Chief R nosebleed again. Chief R said holding nose again, "Please do not do that again Marino…"SEE? IT'S S-O-O-O-O FUNNY! "Ok, but here is the deal!" said Marino grabbing his collar, "Give me all the treasure in return and if you ever leave me out on any mission." I WILL SHOT GRAMMAR IN THE FACE!
"I will!" said Chief R nervously, "I will not do that again!" We both left the room leaving Chief R in fear, she turn to me and she said, "Thanks for the prize!" "What prize?" I said Marino reveal that she is not only holding the crystal, but also the treasure that I stole at the museum. I remain in shock, but smile a little and I said chuckled a little, "Well, we both are even!"SAPPY ENDING: GO
She chuckle as well, she gives me a kiss and she said pulling me into the room, "Into the room, lets us begin as partners…"DOUBLE ENTENDRE IS FUN! I really got nervous from the beginning, but as we got into the room that hit the spot…
Fin
OK, NO, THERE ARE THE ONLY TWO YOU GET. FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU, AND FUCK YOU.
SERIES: POKEMON
TITLE: POKE ME!
AUTHOR: NINJAMAI
A bright Tuesday morning was welcomed by the Sinnoh Region. Hikari, age 15 twirled in front of the full length mirror. She smiled to herself happily at her new simple outfit. OH FUCK, IT'S ALREADY BORING.
A dark red mini-skirt, with tight black leggings. Her feet were covered with bright pink converse sneakers. The laces were bright white. She then looked at her new favorite shirt. It was a dry dark blue color, and was made of cotton. Printed on the front was a lazy-looking Munchlax. Below in purposely faded text read: Poke Me! DOES IT SAY POKE ME AS A PUN ON POKEMON, OR JUST BECAUSE IT'S FAT?
Hikari was thrilled when she scooped up the shirt at the mall. Just too darn cute to resist. WHY THE FUCK DO HUMANS HAVE A FASHION SENSE?
The school girl swung her backpack over her right shoulder and went to school.
During the day, almost everyone had come up and jabbed their finger into her stomach. Her best friends Leaf, Hakura and Kasumi shoved their finger into her stomach. While her other friends Shigeru, Shu and Satoshi made numerous pokes of fury. In the arm, in her neck and on her back...anywhere that would be irritating or painful! TORTURE IS FUN! She groaned. She was beginning to regret wearing this formally cute shirt. IT WASN'T CUTE, EVER.
She hadn't really expected to be touched though, since hardly anyone outside her group of friends paid much attention to her. But nooooOOOO, sir! Whoever passed her in the hall was just itching to stab a finger at her. She was sure she'd be a freak with miniature circular bruises dotting her skin by the end of the day. SO YOU'RE LIKE EQUIUS' LUSUS
"I don't even have a jacket to cover up the words," she whined. NOBODY WAS TALKING TO YOU SO SHUT THE FUCK UP.
It was lunch hour, and she continued to endure the poking epidemic.
Just as she turned left to enter the buzzing cafeteria, she felt the blood rush to her cheeks. A dark looming figure dressed in bland, almost colorless clothes loomed over her. His swirling black eyes penetrated her own azure blue ones. Shinji! Her heart raced. She hated to admit it, but she had had quite a little crush on him for some time. Even when dating other boys, her eyes still wandered over the reserved purple haired male...FOR FUCKS SAKE, PICK ONE MATESPRIT AND STICK WITH HIM/HER
"Uh..." Hikari managed, "C-Can I go to lunch?"
He was standing in her way of the cafeteria doors. She tried to peek over his shoulder to see how long the line was. But he was just too tall. The boy didn't budge.SHINJI: MAKE HER PAY
"Shinji...I'm really hungry! Please let me through!" Hikari tried again. Instead, of saying some sort of reply or grunt, he simply pushed her against the wall and his lips attacked hers!OH GOD, NO, NOT THAT WAY, FUCK She tried to gasp, but his aggressive lips wouldn't allow that. His hands were clutching her wrists and she was pinned against the cold, painted bricks. Goosebumps covered her skin. His eyes were closed as this kissing continued. FUUUUUUUUCK
She couldn't register anything. Shinji's grasp on her wrists were firm, and his determination to make this kiss last was evident.I WOULD LIKE TO FIRMLY STAB THE AUTHOR IN THEIR EYES
His lips were too amazing to think of anything else! So warm and soft!FUCK, STOP GOING INTO DETAIL, NO ONE CARES Suddenly, whooting and hollering echoed her ears. There were whistles and claps. A small group of students had formed a curious circle. They watched, entertained with the epic scene before them. Shinji slowly retreated. An almost triumphant smirk slapped onto his face. Hikari took a second, trying to remember the language she spoke. I HOPE YOU HAVE A CONCUSSION
"Wh-what was that...!" Hikari sputtered, her lips tingling.
"Your shirt says, 'Poke Me!'," Shinji observed. His voice was smooth like the texture of his lips...UGH, FUCK ME.
"Yeah but...that was no poke!" the bluenette cried.
"I poked you with my lips," I HATE YOU.was the instantaneous reply. Her wrists were freed and he he turned away. Shinji merged into the crowd of onlookers and disappeared. The huddling students lingered a few seconds before they began to split up. The girls giggled and the guys laughed. No one cared to poke her though.
Her blush was still raw on her cheeks, but somehow a smile curved on her freshly kissed lips.
Huh...perhaps this shirt wasn't as annoying as it had turned out to be...YOU JUST RUINED THE INTERNET FOR EVERYONE.
OK, FUCK ALL THE OTHER FICS I HAVE, WE ONLY HAVE TWO MORE TO DO. I CAN SEE THIS WAS ALREADY A MISTAKE.
SERIES: MEGAMAN
TITLE: THE BITE OF THE SPIDER
AUTHOR: SILVER HORROR
Marino comes into the Headquarters in anger after failing to attempt to steal one of the treasures in the museum and she is in her bad mood.WELL, THIS ALREADY SETS THE TONE FOR THE STORY, DOESN'T IT. Everyone avoid her except for X, Axl, Cinnamon, Marino, Massimo and ZeroSO, EVERYONE IMPORTANT... AIT, SHE WAS AVOIDING HERSELF? who are the only ones who understand how she feels right now.
"Just a simple mission and I fail!" yelled Marino in angered walking around her room for 5 hours and 30 minutes,THANK YOU FOR BEING SPECIFIC "I cannot even get the mission right…, and some thief just comes in before me trying to ruin my fame…"
"Wow I never her like this before!"I NEVER WISH I HER THIS STORY said Zero in his mind while eating a grilled cheese sandwich. "Have anyone seen Spider?" said X wonder.X WONDER, DEFENDER OF THE GALAxY! "Well, the last time I saw him, I saw his expression with a smile on his face before coming into the room!"YOU SAW HIM BEFORE HE CAME? explain Massimo sitting next to Cinnamon, "He looks like he won in a gamble gameGAMBLE GAME?...FUCK IT, I DON'T CARE., but seems to strange carrying a huge bag…"
Cinnamon and Axl did not say a word at allGOOD while they were eating their breakfast until Chief R come into the room, everyone notice that he have a scar on the side on his face.PROBABLY THE ONLY SORT OF VIOLENCE IN THIS STORY "What just happen?" said Axl looking up. "Well, I try to calm Marino down, but end up getting the boot from her,"HER BOOT HAS SPIKES? said Chief R still feeling the pain, "Someone should have a peaceful conversation with her like a girl to girl conversation you know what I mean?"HURRY, GET THE KANAYA SIGNAL Everyone turn to Cinnamon and Graudile yelled in anger, "Oh no you don't, Cinnamon is not allow to talk to Marino as long as I am around!" LET'S NOT HAVE ANY EXPOSITION ON THIS WHAT SO EVER
"Why?" said Chief R disappointing. "Marino will give her bad influence into doing something that she is not suppose to do!" said Graudile while eat grilled cheese sandwich. One of the reploids yelled, "Hey that WAS MY SANDWICH PAL!" "I thought you were lactose!" said Axl apathetic. I SWEAR TO GOD, THIS PERSON ONLY HAS HALF A BRAIN Graudile ignore Axl by whistling out of the cafeteria and everyone did not say a word at all, but continue to eat their lunch.CAN WE JUST HAVE SILENCE FOR THE REST OF THE STORY?
Meanwhile in Marino's room, she sighed and she said staring at the newspaper, "I was the no. 1 thief in the world, but now I am in last place that would do something to beat my rank…"WHAT "Well, that would be me!" said Spider leaning on the side of the door, "Due this ability I get to avoid the guards easy, even thou I need a few cash in hand when I go to casino… I just want you feel…"WHAT
Marino throws a bear at her...OK and she said in angered feeling a little jealous, "SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!" Spider walks out of the room chuckle as she throws
Zero grumbled that night Marino got drink in her outskirt outfit and well they both she was working at the stripperOH FUCK, PLEASE DON'T GO THERE club. Cinnamon knows what Marino is about to do as he got out of the room late at night after everyone falling asleep. Marino sneaks out of the room without everyone knowing. Axl and Massimo remain in their room having a peaceful conversation. "Princess Peach is way better than Zelda!" said Massimo argued. "No, Zelda is better than Princess Peach even thou she doesn't really deserve to be in Brawl!" said Axl argued back.AT LEAST WE DON'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH STRIPPING
"Will you two shut up, Samus could kick both princesses in the ass!" yelled the Cranky Zero, they both remain silent and than Axl spoke out, "Since when you are into Super Smash Bros Brawl…" "Shut up Axl before I end shove the Z-saber up your!"I DON'T THINK AXL WOULD LIKE A SABER IN HIS SURPRISE NOODLE. said Zero threaten.
Massimo said, "Hey, hey you do not want X to come in the room doing his speech about again…" Zero did not say a word at all, but went back to sleep and Axl said, "You are a lifesaver, HOLY!"GRAMMAR IS ROLLING AROUND IN IT'S GRAVE Axl and Massimo saw Marino, Marino in her mind, "Shoot…" "Why are up wearing this?" said Axl in shock. "Yeah!" said Massimo blushing as well, they both have a nosebleed.I HATE THIS SHIT
Marino's POV
I been caught red handed by Axl and Massimo, this is not good at all. They both are staring at what I was wearing and I did not say a word, but spoke out, "uh got to go!" I quickly dash out of the HQ as soon as things get worstTHINGS GET WORSE? EXCELLENT., thank god for the air ship going work 24 hours. Besides my next target is the very rare jewel in one of the museums and I am going to beat Spider to if I have too.
Regular POV
As Marino went to Airship, she said staring outside, "Even why I am wearing this outfit!" She removes the outfit and revealing her wearing only the black outfit, she said, "That is much better!" YOU WERE WEARING IT BECAUSE THE AUTHOR THOUGHT IT'D BE FUNNY. IT WASN'T.
Spider's POV
It was in the casino area where I usually stay at, gamble under everyone's pockets are empty and even strip pokers. This is life where I usually am at after going through a mission in the casino and all the women love the SpiderTHE KARKAT ALSO LIKES TO REFER TO HIMSELF IN THIRD PERSON. Even thou she does not even know that have a mission to get the diamond before enemies will try to use it for evil.
I remember what Chief R trying to say after Marino taking anger on Zero because of bra on his headTHE KARKAT REMEMBERS THAT JOKE, AND HE IS DISGUSTED and he said, "Your assignment is something special, thieves trying to steal a very rare jewel to try using the jewel for evil due it contain powers inside." Why did he even send her on this mission instead of me for an unknown reason he does not trust Marino at all.
Well, I know she will sell it to get richer and everything, I am kind of enjoying myself as I steal other people's money. "Hello Spider!" said a familiar voice; I turn and saw Marino in this strange outskirt outfit. My dream have come turn she is in an outskirt nurse dress, well this is the first time seeing her like this.THE KARKAT DOES NOT UNDERSTAND! She slaps me on the side of the face all of the sudden and she said, "Try not to do that again Spiderman!" "Do not call me by that tights wearing hero!" I said angered, "I hate being called that, lady!"THE KARKAT IS CONFUSE "Well, well!" she said as she comes close to her and she give me a kiss on the lips.THE KARKAT.... OKAY FUCK THAT JOKE, THIS IS GETTING RETARDED It felt good, but end up being push down to ground by her and she left me as I hit the ground. "That is something!" I said in my mind, dizzy.
Marino's POV
Geez a simple kiss does the trick, but my main mission is to get that jewel why must they left me out all the time in every mission even thou Chief R do not even trust me at all. All of the sudden as I try to sneak out of the room to get the treasure some punk grab my from behind and he said as he hold me, "Well, well, what do you we have here?"I HATE MYSELF, I HATE THE AUTHOR, AND I HATE EVERYONE WHO READS THIS "The thief of the night!" said a huge reploid as he holds me close to him. I try to break free, but cannot because of his arms were too strong and the skinny reploid standing right in front of me.
He said staring at me chest, "What are we going to her?" "I do not know!" said the short reploid staring at me in a pervert, "Let's rape her."NO In my mind, "(Beep), (Beep), (Beep), (Beep), (BEEP)! Why must this end in the bad way?" I struggle to break free, but cannot until cards come out of nowhere hitting the trio on the head. "Hey do not mess with my woman when the Spider is around!"THE KARKAT ENJOYS THIRD PERSON! said Spider punching the huge one, I was finally free at last and they fall to ground. I saw all the girls praising Spider and that make me since even thou he save me from being rape.I LIKE IT WHEN GRAMMAR IS BRUTALLY BEATEN OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Spider grabs me by the hand and we went out of it, I give him a good slap on the face and I said, "Since when I am YOUR WOMAN!" "Well, I do not know why even thou you should have thank me instead of bitch slapping me!"YOU'LL SAY BITCH, BUT NOT ANYTHING ELSE? said Spider rubbing it where it hurts. "WELL, FIRST OF ALL!" I said in anger, but than he kiss me on the lips and he said, "even thou we got our differences, we are even!" I hide my feelings from him as he left and I got back up, I have to start on "Plan B" after the casino close, I manage to sneak back inside disguise as a guard that lead me into the treasure.FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK,STOP KISSING
Even thou I do not see Spider, but a bunch of sluts lying down on the floor unconscious after being drink and I know something is not right about the casino at all.GRAMMAR HATES YOU TOO A reploid struggles after drinking something from the casino before falling down on the floor meaning the Rebellion army already there. I felt someone touch me in the chest and I grab the chair, swing it and I heard a voice, "Wait where you're hitting?" It reveals to be Spider and I said in anger, "Stay away from me you pervert…"STAY AWAY FROM ME, EVEN THOUGH WE HAVE A VERY CLEAR KISMESSIS/MATESPRITSHIP GOING ON HERE.
"Why we are here for the same thing right?" said Spider taunting. Marino said apathetic, "Yes, so what!" "Well, well, look what we got here?" said a voice. The guards surrounding up and we both got expose after seeing a floating screen revealing to be Botos petting a feline. We both saying WTF after seeing Botos and I yell in anger, "Hey this isn't Austin Power or 007!"BECAUSE, SHIT, LET'S TOSS OUT MOVIE TITLES "I do not care, I love doing this way, right my sweet Mr. Bunny!" said Botos petting his cat, the cake replied a meow leaving me to twitching.
"Even thou I am the sexiest Austin Power in the game even thou you are jealous or not!" said Spider wooing the women and make a joke. WHAT I twitch continually and Botos got annoy, Botos said, "No matter!" He reaches into the button and gas comes out nowhere, we both curse and struggled.
Spider's POV
I wake up and all of the sudden we are tied up together on a pole, Marino is unconscious at the time and I was able to use my card to break free. I discover something is not right about this room as I heard something is ticking as I go near the wall, it starting to tick faster, I jump back and grab Marino. The bombHE SET YOU UP THE BOMB. OH GOD, I FEEL DIRTY AFTER SAYING THAT. starting to blow up the room, the only way to get out through the vent on the side of me, I did not want to leave Marino alone to die. I need to think another way to save the both of us and I am guessing Chief R will be mad if I am unsuccessful on the mission.I DON'T THINK IT'LL MATTER, BECAUSE YOU'LL BE DEAD.
I hope an opening above us and I quick put Marino on my back, climb on the pile to reach into the opening before things starting to get worst. I heard another bomb ticking as well and now things are about to be interesting as I jump on Blowfish to Blowfish, I notice after jumping off of BlowfishWHAT it starting to explode. I have to quick so I could so none of us will not get hurt, the last one nearly slip Marino from my back, I manage to grab her from the hand.SUSPENCE? WHAT IS THAT?
I quickly put her on my back again giving her a piggyback as I reach into the top, so what you think I will try to leave her there. No, I will not leave her there even thou we got our differences, but I remain mysterious love connection to her.THIS STORY COULD BE JUST A WHOLE BUNCH OF RANDOM WORDS, AND IT'D BE THE SAME About reaching into the top, I notice where they are using the crystal inside a cannon and Botos who is acting, as a Dr. Evil laughing someone is drunk.
I notice everyone I met in the casino being brainwash doing the work of the rebellion, I got out my communicator and contact Chief R. "What is it?" said Chief R yawning, "It is in the middle of the night, what it is?"I JUST CALLED TO SAY HI.
"We got ourselves a bad situation, we found the crystal, and the rebellion army used the place as a casino to brainwash the innocent!" I explain to him, "Marino is with me as well…" He gives a glare and he said, "What, Marino is with you why?" "Well, first of all I am only a bounty hunter and second of all I need a partner to be successful!" I said to him serious, "No matter what, I cannot do anything without a partner…"THIS PARAGRAPH IS THE JOKE. GET IT?
The Chief R shut off, I turn to see Marino who is fully awake and she said, "You really want to have a partner right!" "Yes, so what even thou you did not steal the item yet?" I said staring at her face to face. "Well, you got one!" said Marino smile revealing the crystal, "You take along time on the communicator and I manage to jewel, even thou you miss me fighting!"AND THIS PARAGRAPH IS CONFUSING. GET IT? BECAUSE I DON'T.
I notice Botos all beaten up on the ground twitching and blood come out of his nose, I turn to her seeing her wearing the same outfit and I almost nosebleed, but turn away. Marino said threaten, "Do not say anything to no one before send you to hell…"DO NOT TRY TO SPEAK IN A NORMAL FASHION
As we got back into the base, we are in for a surprised as we saw the faces of Zero, X, Axl, and Massimo face after Marino forgot to change back into her clothes. Zero have a nosebleed after seeing Marino and Axl blushes continuallyHEY! THIS IS FUNNY! HAHAHAHA! along with Massimo. X is about to say a word, but left the room and we ignore them as we went straight to Chief R.
Chief R has a nosebleed as well, as he holds his nose and tips his head back. Chief R said, "The mission did go well right…, I was wrong to underestimate Marino and that I am sorry…" "Its ok, its no big deal!" said Marino adjusting her outfit making Chief R nosebleed again. Chief R said holding nose again, "Please do not do that again Marino…"SEE? IT'S S-O-O-O-O FUNNY! "Ok, but here is the deal!" said Marino grabbing his collar, "Give me all the treasure in return and if you ever leave me out on any mission." I WILL SHOT GRAMMAR IN THE FACE!
"I will!" said Chief R nervously, "I will not do that again!" We both left the room leaving Chief R in fear, she turn to me and she said, "Thanks for the prize!" "What prize?" I said Marino reveal that she is not only holding the crystal, but also the treasure that I stole at the museum. I remain in shock, but smile a little and I said chuckled a little, "Well, we both are even!"SAPPY ENDING: GO
She chuckle as well, she gives me a kiss and she said pulling me into the room, "Into the room, lets us begin as partners…"DOUBLE ENTENDRE IS FUN! I really got nervous from the beginning, but as we got into the room that hit the spot…
Fin
OK, NO, THERE ARE THE ONLY TWO YOU GET. FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU, AND FUCK YOU.