DAY 2: WHYYYYYYYY-TRUE LUVS KISS

[carcinoGeneticist]

YES WELCOME TO TODAY'S UPDATE THIS IS GOING TO BE OUR FIRST CHAPTER FANFICTION AND IT WILL BE AS HORRIBLE AS YOU EXPECT IT TO BE POSSIBLY EVEN MORE ALSO TODAY WILL BE MY FIRST GUEST WHO IS THE BIGGEST BITCH IN EXISTENCE SO HERE IS HER I GUESS

Hellooooooo~ Karkat isn’t around right now, so it will 8e just you, me and this lovely pile of chapters for a shity human fanfic called True Luvs Kiss. Wont this be fun?? Ohohohohohohohoh~ Let’s 8egin the storm ::

I'M RIGHT HERE YOU STUPID BITCH AUGH WHATEVER LET'S JUST START

True Luvs Kiss by A STUPID PERSON
Chapter 1
AN-ok, so my first fanfic, yay! lol. tanks to my bf clay(ily baby!) and my frends caroline, tracy, izzy and luanne, u know who u are! =)WHAT EVEN HAPPENED H- what do human weapons have to do with this thing you call a 8f?? I WAS KIND OF FUCKING TALKING BUT OKAY

CHAPTA 1-IT BEGINS...

Once upon a time there was a man called Gregroy Edgeworth. He waz an amaizing attorny.I BET HE WAS AN AMAIZING ATTORNY he had two children, the beautful Rubina Saransara Isabella Rosalie Starletta Hayley Egdeworth, but she was called Rubina for short. and there was milles. Why dose thing girl have this overly long and awful title and why is the male isn't so long and awful??

The story begins on a boat(cuz myle is scared of elevators ;] ). The family waz going to Africca on their holodays. They were all very happy.(This is before manfred comes in and kills Gregory...)SOMEONE IS ACTUALLY GOING TO DIE IN THIS STORY

But Mile was woried. 'I'm not smart, wat if i can't speak African?'

'Ok, we won't go,' said Gregory. he was a...abusive father! He hit Miels and beat the livin shit out off him. Then he raped him, and threw him in2 the ocean. Meles screamed, and it was up to his beautful sister Rubina to save him. She jumped into the ocean, and pulled him out.WAIT W- Wait, what the hell just happened here? The lusus-like-thing tosses him into the fishface's territory after that? Where is the point in that? And why is this wanna-8e gru8 always calling herself a thing 8eauty. I am already dissatisfied with this 'story'. YOU SHOULD PROBABLY STOP INTER-FUCKING-RUPTING ME Then Grgeory raped her. He stuck his 2 inch penis that was covered in tick curly ginger hair into her beautful cervix, and they fucked all night long.OH MY FUCKING JEGUS WHAT THE HELL 'oh gdot, that was WONDERFUL!' said Rubbina, and then she screamed, coz shed just remembered...her father was raping her! omg! Last time I checked according to human laws this rape thing is something you don't want and how do you even forget you are 8eing 'raped' in the first place??

So then Rubina slapped Gregory. She began to cry. 'I thought you loved me!' She screamed, as loud as she cud. He began to cry. 'Im sorry, angel,' he said, 'i love you really. Just sometimes u and ur brother make me so...MAD! Its not my fault, i have a medical condishin.' Hehehehehehehehe. Your joking right?? THIS MAKES ME WANT TO FACEPALM SO GODDAMNED HARD

''i love you too dad," she said, an d they hugged cuz they were in love. 3 oh jegus this 8road is…….. IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE A :3 BECAUSE THAT IS NOT ADORABLE AT ALL

NEXT DAY

Grgeoy was in court.

Againt Mafred Von Karma! omg! I AM NOW FEELING ADEQUATE AMOUNTS OF SHOCK NOW

Thn there was a penalty, and stuff in court. ANWAY.THIS IS GOING TO GET SOMEONE'S HORNS IN A K- Goddamn it, even Terezi is more detailed with her stupid fake court system. This is 8ullshit >::: GODDAMNIT AGAIN VRISKA

Larry Butz was flirting w/ Rubbina. "u look just like a model," said larry. 'I love you. u have a tiny skiinny boddy(shes not anorexic, cuz anorexic people are emos) giant boobs that wobble when u runWHAT, long golden hair that touches ur slender feet, giant green eyes like a goddess and skin like a angel cuz its soooo nbeatiful and pale. Lets hav sex.' How old are these kids again?? Five?? I say so by this gog awful spelling!!!!!!!!

'ummmm, no,' sed Rubbina. 'Im not a slut u fcking asshole. go fuck urself cuz i know for a fact no one else ever will. ur a pervert. Women arent just objects, we hav feelings too. Its sooooo wrong people only like people cuz the people are good looking people.' I cant take that seriously at all.

'Fuick you,' said Larry. 'My girlfriend is dead. Cindy got murdered, and i LOVED HER. NO ONE WILL EVER EVER EVER EVER EVR LOVE YOU, CUZ U CANT HAVE SEX AND UR PROBLY INFERTLE! GINGER!' Yeah you semi-normal fleshie tell that 8road off!!!!!!!! She'll never find any kind of trollmance or human romance for that matter!!!!!!!! THIS PERSON ISN'T EVEN SEMI-NORMAL I AM PRETTY SURE

Rubbina began to cry. she had gotten some sychologcal damage cuz off wat he said. She dindnt cut herself, cuz she wasnt a emo, but she felt like it. Her life was so tough. HOW DOES TH- It dosent work like that you 8road!!!!!!!! >::: SOMEONE'S GOING TO GET SOME FUCKING PHYSICAL DAMAGE IF THEY DON'T STOP FUCKING INTERRUPTING ME

And then she heard the bad news.

"Rubbina, ur father is dead, and ur coming to live with me."WAIT THERE IS NO DESCRIPTIONS OF HIS DEATH HE'S JUST GONE WHAT THE FUCK

It was...MANFED VON KARMA! OMG! It’s 8een the 8est news I‘ve read all day!!!!!!!!!
Chapter 2
CHAPTA 2-RUBINA'S DAIRY

so now i was living with Manred von Karma. He had 1 dauhgter, Franziska. She was a bit older than me, like 16. she also carried around a whip and dressed like a dominatrix.WHY WOULD SHE DO THIS since i didnt have any more clothes, because they had been destroyed in the courtoom, she lent me her clothes. I was not happy, because now I dressed like a slut. so your clothes were destroyed in pu8lic and no one gave a shit?? Everyone must h8 you!!!!!!!!

I was wearing fishnet tights, with boots. the boots had big heels on the end that made me look taller. they were black, like the mini skirt i was wearing. the mini skirt was more like a belt than a skirt, it barely covered my arse. You could see my leather thong when I walked around. I wore a black top, its like one you can download for the Sims 3, heres a picture. (?productId=OFB-SIM3:23645&categoryId=11584&gender=female&back=categoryPage) It's in the colour purple. Wow, you weren’t kidding when you said you looked like a slut!!!!!!!! >::: I AM NOT EVEN GOING TO BOTHER LOOKING AT IT

Anyway, I knew Manfed was a pervert and a pedofile, i just knew it. I have these magic powers after all.WHY DIDN'T YOU USE THEM IN THE FIRST CHAPTER They are kept secret, but I know about them. I am mysterious and beatiful, like the snow, but im not wet. (Only when i see my bf clay! lol.)WH- Magic is a lie!!!!!!!! >::: AUGH WHY DO YOU FUCKING ACT LIKE THIS

Anyway, the day Manfed began raping me was a Tuesayd, at 9:42pm. Milse had just made dinner, bcuz he was a slave, and then Manfed called me over. "Bend down!" he ordered. I bended down. "Thou art an evil bitch!"WHY DOES HE TALK LIKE THIS he roared, and i screamed. "wat-wat are you doing?"

He told me to close my eyes. "I have a present for thou. It be chocolate." I closed my eyes, excitd, and he laughed as the penis came into my mouth. "chocolate nuts!" he cakcled, and i relaized, too late, that what I had been sucking on eagerly was in fact his dick. omg!OH MAN I AM SURPRISED AGAI- Again with this retarded rape!!!!!!!! ONE MORE TIME VRISKA I SWEAR

I tried to spit it out, but it was too big. I was choking! My mouth was full of dick and chocolate. It was going down my throat, down to my lungs and my stomach.
And then...

"Stop it, Father," said Franziska. She looked angrily. "How dare you besmirch an innocent child? She is not corurptd by your power yet, as I so unforutnatley have, and i intend to keep it that way. Away Father! Into your shed!"

Manfed shot me a dirty look, and pilled hs dick out. It took a lot of effort, as his dingdong was HUGE.

HUGE, like a plank , ex ept hairyer, tastyer and smellyer. And also, not made of wood.OH JEGUS W- I suddenly understand Karkat's feelings of 8eing deeply distur8ed. SERKEEEEEEET

wehn he was gone, franziska looked at me, seriosly. "You are the one." She said, mysteriusly. I gulp. "The one?" I repeat, confused. "The one," she confriemd. Like the Matrix?

"And ur brother, Meles. He will hav an unhappy life. Till he meets his soulmate?"

"Hsi soultmate?" I repeat, shocked. Wat could this strange girl mean by that?

"There is a boy he once knew. A Pheonix Wright? Pheonis is the man he will fall in love with? And together, they will be a perfect pair."

I was completely cool with my brother being gay. I'm not a racist kind of person, that's why. "I know Phoenix Wirght!" I shouted, happily. "We knew eachother before my father died!" And I began to cry, because I missed my dad. "Me and Pheonxi has our first kiss together! omg!"SEE WH- Gay is a race?

"You must not speak of this to anyone," ordered Fransixka. "It is a well kept secret. Fare thee well."

And she turned into a painting, and hung on the wall, alone. I starred, amazed. She winked at me, and I was amazed. How did this magic house work?

Anway, I decided to go for a coffee. I love coffee. I drink it completely black, like the night. I wish there was another soul inthis universe who understood my longing for coffee. If only...

I didnt know I was about to meet Godot!WAIT HOW DOES T- I already told you magic is fake!!!!!!!! So where dose this human caffeine rich drink come into the conversation??
Chapter 3
once agin, tank u to my bf clay, for taht wondefrl and inspring nite last nite. ily babe! also, to ANGIE, there will prbly be a happy ending. its just going to be sad for a bit first. ok, u'll get ur hardcore yaoi soon enough...pervert lol. u have a one track mind u know. gregoy is a nice father, he just has medical condishun, which makes him go crazy sumtimes and rap people. we all feel like it sumtimes. and maybe milles wants to be a rapist one day, we dont know, do we? this is going into my story now... This paragraph is pathetic.

CHAPTA 3-WHEN RUBBINA MEETS DIEGO

I went to the coffee shiop on my own. I love coffee soooo much. I think i mite of said this before. ANYWAY.

I was sitting in there on my own, when the door opend, and I saw this HAWT, HAWT, HAWT man come in. He had black hair, and dark skin and he looked like a god. no, he WAS a god. like a perfect angelic god. i wanted to go and suck his dick straigt away. I cud see his giant dick through his tight trousers. he smiled at me, and sat beside me. Wow, way to down grade yourself some more.

"Hi sexbomb, kitten" he said putting his hand on my chest. then he talked spanish. i gasped. he was intrested in me! omg! He called you a bitch in what ever Spanish is. No interest in you at all. Nope.

He unhooked my bra, and bean feeling my boobs. I have unuslly big boobs. Each one is bigger than my head. and my nipples are perfect. My boobs look like giant fairycakes with cherries on top with no stick coming out of the cherries obviusly. But i dont have any self confidence. I hate myself. I'm not arrogant u see. Okay this is just disgusting, I can't even 8egin to descri8e my utter h8 for this. 8oo8s 8 igger than her head, 8oo8s like angel cakes?? What the hell is an angel cake any way??

I liked letting Diego feel up my boobs. he also licked them a bit. And bit them. And then... Why are you doing this in public?? WHY??

"Diego, DAWWWG! Why you havin touch-sex wit that lil bitch!"

it was mia fey.

i might dress like a slut, and franzaka mite be a two year old slut(see angi, i rembered her age!) No you don’t, you just said she was sixteen in the last chapter!!!!!!!!, but mia is a real slut. She neva even wears clothes she just goes around in this pracilly non-existant thong the whole time the whole time. its made of leather. She weares two coins over her nipples, stuck with blue-tack, and a hooker sign on her back. She is a slut and a hooker, and on saterday nites at ten, she is a man. She has really weird sexual fantasies, like bouncing on balls(u know what i mean! lol), and playing CPR-OMG attacks. My mind is full of fuck!!!!!!!!

Mia dates Diego, but i only knew that now. she fucks him hard day and nite. he cantnot feel his dingalingadong as a result. it is numb coz of its oversue.

i pushed diego's hand away quickly. "GTFO!" I shitted, urgently. "Go away Diggo! Ur gf is here!"

"Ew, look at that slut!" shouted someone in the coffee shop. His name was Damon Gant, and he was rapist. I thought he mean Mia, but he was pointing at me. "She is a slut! She wears slutty close, and she is with another girl's bf! omg!"

OK, I already explaned why I was dressed slutty, but it wasnt my fault about Diego, he molested me! I began to cry. "Noooooo!" I shitted. Yes it‘s your fault, you didn’t stop him. And you shitted in pu8lic?? That’s the first hilarious thing you did!!!! Hahahahahahahaha

"Im NOT a slut!" I scream, fried. "I didnt now he was Mia's bf! And even if I did, she rubbed him off Calisto Yew first!" (Calsto is also a prosecstitute like Mia. Mia is her pimp, and Calisto is her bitch)

"Fuck you mothafucka, Calisto's ma bitch, babe! And so is Lana, u white mofo," said Mia. She slapped me, and beat me up. I was in agony. Abslute agony. After a slap you were 8eat up?? Damn! You wouldn’t last long in a fight against me!!!!!!!!

I ran home, leaving Diggo w/out even my name to fidn me again.

When I got home, Franzjka was no where to be seen, and instead Manfed was waiting on me, wit ha whip in his hand. He whipped me good and hard. and then he fucked me till I went blind for a few hours.(yes, that is possble!) That is not true!!!!!!!! And again you got raped, gog you suuuuuuuuck!!!!!!!!

But that wasnt the worst he had done. Because he'd let a little sperm into my belly, and I was about to miss my perpod... How do you know this if you haven’t missed this period thing yet??
The Final Chapter
omg guyz, ur revews were very mean, but im gong to explain them. thank u ANGI, for ur first nice revew, p/e will apper soon. =) ur 2nd review was mean. shes not a loilocn sue! people rap her cuz theyre evil and jaelous of her beauty not coz theyre loicalans! ANON, its not a bad fic, its a verry gud fic, so stuf! ur just an ugly mean bitch who probly neva had a bf like my clay. and im not a torl, ur just jalous! NIGHTSPA-i already explanned that this story is not a joke! its serius, ok! NO FLAMS JUST BRUTTAL HONASTY-ill deal with u on my old authrs note pag. thank u MAJICVMOO who left me a lovely revew, but i wud just like 2 point out dat it is not a funny story! ANONYMMOUSE-im not trolling! wen will poeple relize this? people are taking my story serusloy, stfu! its not a copy off anything! stop flaping me! Your words are horrid lies!!!!!!!!

i just found out from my frand caroline dat there is a site where u put up recmendashins for gud fics. it is caled 'tv trops' i will nam a charcter in da story after da person who racomends ma story on that site. u have to comment here, and tell me u did it. that is da comptieitinon. I sure as hell would recommend a 8road like you!!!!!!!! THE FACT THAT YOU COULD EVEN READ THAT VRISKA IS HORRIBLE IN ITSELF

im tyring to do rubinas characterizationTHIS IS A JOKE I AM PRETTY SURE in this chapta, angie, so u will like. there will be more action next chapta. enjoy everyone!

CHAPTA 4-THE BABY

I fond out I was pergnant when I missed my period. I was in the batrom, wating for it to cum, when I relized it wasn't. And I was confussd. Because it took me a while to work out wat cud of happenened. Why waz my period not cumming? And then I realized what it must be. I was pergnent. We get it just shut up and continue so we can get on with our lives!!!!!!!!

I gt a pregnency test, just to mak sure. I cudn't be too careful. I pissed daintly onto the test sticky thingy, and the colour changed, almost instentlay. it turned...pink. not only was i having a bbay, but I was having a little gurl. I was soo excitted. But also, upset. I was now teen!pregnant. I had a lot of difficult prblems to overcum, but I knew I cud do it. I've alwas been a very strong person u seeSAYS THE PERSON WHO GOT SYCHOLOGICAL DAMAGE[SIC] FROM BEING CALLED NAMES. I am dou8tful of this statement. All of it.

I began to cry. I sobbed on the toilet. My life was a wreck. My hawt bf Diegoe has left meWHEN WAS HE EVER YOUR BF WHATEVER THE FUCK THAT IS, my father has a MEDICL CONDISHUN which makes him rap me sumtimesDIDN'T HE DIE, my new father is evil and rapes me all the time, and my older bf is a gay fag who likes my brother, and my brother is a salve in this house, and my new sister is strange. AND I AM PUGNANT. Pugnant?? Oh noes!!!!!!!! The horror!!!!!!!!

This lil girl wud depend on me now, I think, I have to stop bing so sily. I have to brace up, nd face tha music. If not...social servics cum for my baby. All over my baby. What. WHAT

Franxiksa made a face. "I feel so sorry for thou." She sad. "Thou hav it so tough. Thour life is so ruff. Weaker pople wud not be able to stadn it, but thou, thou art a hore.I'M GLAD SOMEONE RECOGNIZES SHE IS A WHORE I doth say this to manny people, Rubina, but I repsct thou."What’s with the shitty poetry??

I felft all emabrrased. "It was nothing," I said. "Honesty, nothing."

Franzisak isn't sure. She makes a fac at me. "Fair thee weel. What art thou gong to do with art babby?"

I am a strong persun. I hold my head up high. "I am going to rraise tha baby. all on my own. I dont need no help off from ANYONE. i am an indpendetn woman!" That gru8 is going to rely on you? I feel 8ad for it……. ::: YOU SURE ARE AN INDPENDETN WOMAN[SIC]

Frazinska and Milles began to clap. I felt all emabrassed, and left.

DIGO'S POV

Who is that amazing girl I met? In the coffee shop? She was so beutifull, I fell in luv rite away. I need to see her. I need her! So honest so true!!!!!!!! I’m going to puke!!!!!!!!

Mia came in to me, and jumped on me. "Hey I ned mo' sex dawg."

I shok my head. I dont like Mia anymore. "No, Mia, you had enough. ! thats my dick! leave it alogne! oh, ur so sexxy, lets fuck."WOW WAY TO HOLD UP THERE PAL

But I stll luved that other msyterious girl more.

Why did she leave me? How could she do something so cruel? After all, I luved her the most.

ALRIGHT THAT WAS THE ENDING AND I THINK-

And that my readers, is the end of all the shit pool. I don’t want to read this ever again. Its gog awful, just like the idiot who wrote this. I mean, holy ungogly SHIT this was awfuly paiiiiiiiinful to read!!!!!!!! It was my utmost displeasure to read this!!!!!!!! I hope it hurts the rest of you all!!!!!!!!!!! >::::C

SERKEEEEEEEET

[arachnidsGrip]

Dear Karkat, stealing yo shit again. New chapter came in.

♠ Vriska :::


IM NOT A TROL! y do i hav to keep saying dis? ALL DA TIM its SO ANOYING!

also im not lik my mortal cuz im NOT EMO. ur all fecking emos go die.

i waz not troling wen i sed the cum bit, i just relized it wa sa funny joke so i put it in. i lik the idae of naming godot clay, it is a gud and sexy idea. tank u.

ALSO-iz no1 intrestd in my comptishin? i tink its gud, a cracter named after YOU? gudstuff lol. No one did shit 8ecause this was a shity idea to 8egin with.

CHAPTA ?(lol i forget cuz im confussed w/ my otha stroy lol) O...other story... Oh gog. nonononono.

I was sooo unhapy, cuz I was pregnent and I was only a litle kid. I didnt no wat to do. Weren't you fine a8out this five minutes ago??

And then...the door knocked.

I ansered it and it was Pheonx and he kissed me, and I was happy and then Mile apered and he kised him and it was all like a big happy famly. Phoenix: Loyalty issues.

"Hi Phenos!" I explanated.

"Hi Rubina" he sed, all happy. "I missed u."

"Wat are u doing here?" I asked confussed.

"Visiting u and Mellie. I missed u."

I wasnt so sure. Sumthing seemed wrong. I just didtn now wat it cud be I don't even know what to say here!!!!!!!!

"Why are u so fat?" he asked, and I nearly cried, den I rembered I waz pergnent, so that was why I was fat. "Im pergnent." How can you forget that, when you were talking a8out it five minutes ago??

"OMG! Who is the father?"

"It's...Manfed von Kama."

CLIFFHANGA

NEXT DAY

ill continu dis later, im brod. >::: You missed the a in 8road!!!!!!!!

[carcinoGeneticist]

GOGDAMNIT VRISKA